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Aniston, what are you doing? | Ayyyy!

Aniston, what are you doing?

I’m talking about this dress:

Dioriffic! Is that a perfume name? It should be.

Dioriffic! Is that a perfume name? It should be.

There are three things to say about this dress:

  1. It’s cute. It’s bloody adorable, in fact. It’s what Zooey Deschanel would wear if she were a grown person I could stand instead of a twee hipster pixie girl. It feels disloyal to like Dior without Galliano, but this is a beautiful, flattering, feminine dress that reminds you that there are pretty things in the world which are not brittle or sleek.
  2. It needs a good pressing.
  3. It’s entirely inappropriate for a premiere, which is where she wore it. This is a lunch dress, or a day wedding guest’s dress. This is the dress you wear with your best friends or your favorite aunt when you go sit on an expensive restaurant’s patio and drink just a little bit too much prosecco together while flirting lightly with the men at the next table.

I’ve been thinking a lot about dresses for the red (or here, blue) carpet lately. Well, it’s the sort of thing I get paid for, isn’t it? Aniston usually gets it right; she’s been doing it since before the Rachel was a thing, and this year she’s mixed up the long gowns with some very dressy short dresses, they’re still notably formal, even if they’re a bit hard-edged for my taste. They are prom or homecoming dresses, not lunch on the patio dresses (side note: until this week I didn’t know there were homecoming dresses. I thought homecoming involved tailgate picnics and lots of LL Bean. Once pointed to DressFirst, I learned my mistake; not a plaid in sight!).

So ultimately, this is the right dress in the wrong place at the wrong time. Mind you, we can’t rule out the possibility that she was indeed going to have a long, boozy lunch on an expensive patio later and if she was, more power to her! But bring the dress in a tote next time and change later!

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