And all of the sudden I have this strange desire to play tetherball.

One is known for marching for miles, the other needs a cab to get from Bergdorf’s to Hermès.

Killer Coffin Whacks Widow

The hearse in which 67-year-old Marciana Silva Barcelos was traveling was hit by another vehicle while en route to the cemetery, local media reported. The hearse was hit from behind, causing the coffin to slam into Barcelos’ head.

Her husband, Jose Silveira Coimbra, 76, had died of a heart attack the night before while at a dance.

or is Jon Lovitz bringing the unexpected hotness?

Because I kind of think he is. I mean he’s tan, but not orange, and he’s smiling, and that tie is a great color for him.

Granted I have loved him ever since he beat the ever living crap out of extremely-deserving Andy Dick, who Lovitz accused of getting Phil Hartman’s wife Brynn back on coke after 10 years sober, and starting the chain of tragic events ending in both their deaths.

Of course, he may just look good since he’s standing next to Kim Jong Il’s more neurotic brother and the old guy at church who gets Entirely Too Friendly during the passing of the peace. Yes I know Jesus loves me, stop trying to unhook my bra!

you’ve probably already got the herp.”

oh…er…nevermind.

But I bet Samuel Beckett is PISSED.

Meet Miri Ben-Ari, pictured here at the Acclaimed Readers’ Choice Awards.

Wikipedia tells me that Ms Ben-Ari is an Israeli “hip-hop violinist” who is apparently ten pounds of awesome in a five pound bag. Unfortunately the aforementioned bag, aside from being strained by musical awesomeness, was also apparently drugged, kidnapped and made to do service as a minidress before being sent back to Bangkok in the early 7o’s.