Jean Dujardin has a point to make

Why Jean, that’s quite a good point you make. What’s more, it reminds me of something…

Welcome to Hump Day, y’all!

beyonce beyond

We all have those pictures from high school that we hoped had been buried forever. And we find them posted to Facebook when our “friends” get into the prosecco. I’m sorry, Beyonce, we can no more let you live this down than we can these two. Acid wash isn’t for jeans; it’s for our eyeballs after we get a load of this outfit. Also, is that a wig from the House of Lisa Kudrow on your head?

I think this one actually scared off most of the commenters, but nonetheless what entries there were were solid, so we are pleased to announce our winner:

Vanessa Paradis up close and extremely personal

igirl99
January 28, 2012 at 9:58 pm
And now, Tales From the Crypt, sponsored by Chanel…

Congratulations and imaginary swag to igirl99, who I believe is a first-time winner. What else? A Sterling Silver Trowel!

And now, lest we forget, a small reminder of what used to be, back when she was admitting to being the same age as me.

Do what you do best in the comments section for fabulous, completely imaginary prizes! Zombie Pippa Middleton has it coming.

zombie pippa

Keira Knightley got back

Stars should never get themselves ready for a premiere; whatever Keira saved on self-tanner at the spa in advance of her outing the other night she will have to spend on PR to bury these horrible, mottled images. And to deny the rumour that she’s going to play the title role in Hidalgo II. On the plus side: scratches! Well, thanks to the pirate movies she IS an Action star; good to see she got some action!

From my new favoritest blog, the horrifying and delightful Celebrity Closeups. Do what you do best in the captions:

Vanessa Paradis up close and extremely personal

Every now and again Twitter redeems itself and shakes off the tedious uplifting quote bots, SEO gurus, and other such riff-raff and presents to my jaded eyen something pure gold.

Like this.

So this is how the 1% are staying ahead of the pitchforked mobs nowadays. Skijoring with a $270,000 car instead of a husky.

Miss Helen Duinham by John Singer Sargent

You see it, don’t you? What better proof of the enduring nature of classical beauty could there be than the resemblance of this portrait from 160 years ago, to today’s celebrated beauty, Uma Thurman? True, no casting director would have chased after Miss Helen Duinham’s brougham, begging her to play The Bride in Kill Bill, but they look like they could be equally deadly at the bridge table or the cotillion.

Uma Thurman has a slightly different choice of wardrobe it must be admitted