To be fair, the evolution of this face and body owes something to nicotine as well. But as Nan Darien said in Vanity Fair, “I don’t see the appeal of heroin. Does the weight stay off?”

Before:

Marianne Faithfull in her youth

After:

Marianne Faithfull older

This is what Courtney Love can only dream of becoming. Oh, and she does.

Fun fact: when the producer who first got Marianne under contract reported the fact to his boss, his exact words were, “I saw an angel with big tits, so I signed her.” There are worse decisions in the history of music.

Yes, the holiday season is upon us. And just because your show was cancelled years ago and you’ve really never come into your own since, that’s no reason not to dress for celebration. And captioning.

Spike is sad he missed out on that part in Bridget Jones's Diary

Every fashion blogger gets to use that headline once in her life.

FACT.

This post is sponsored by the fact that I’m down to my last pair of Asics and my sister just bought the Louboutin Forever Tinas and Anemones. Oh. Fine. SEE if I care. I’m SO OVER IT ALL!

No, it’s fine. I like my rubber boots. It’s totally fine.

You Are a Colorful and Vivacious Shoe

In life, you rather play than work. You’re apt to quit any task that doesn’t nourish your creativity and inner child. You are happiest in the comfort of your own home. You know how to make things nice for yourself.You are always interested in how and why things work. You are naturally curious. You love change and are able to adapt to any situation. You don’t have the typical fear of the unknown.

I’d like to be the Giuseppe Zanotti fishbone sandals in this video, even though they were only $775 when they came out:

Courtney Love's left boob makes a break for it

Someone aught to tell poor Courtney that the casting call for the Red Queen is long over. Also that the woman sleeping with the director had it locked up from the beginning. Also, that if you’ve lost so much weight your implants are getting smaller, you need to eat a sammich.

Also, don’t be so shelfish.

It. Is. Time. To declare our winnner…

Not that anyone who had to look at this could be described as “winning” really, but…

REEEJ

Pooooooor Coco
November 19, 2011 at 1:07 pm
“Well, the Emperor really highly recommended this tailor, and I do enjoy the silky fineness of my new shirt; but… but… does this tie *really* go with my moobs?”

Congrats and imaginary swag to first-time winner and first-time entrant Pooooooor Coco. What shall we present our proud winner?

The emperor/empress worthy purple designer toga

Pick a toga

Ashley Greene at the Breaking Waistband premiere

Nice try, Ashley! Good work at the Canadian Breaking Dawn premiere, pandering to Canuckistani patriotism with the obligatory red outfit on the red carpet (presumably the white is your refreshingly un-orange self). But even though Canada isn’t Paris, it was still a bad idea to try to repurpose Aunt Suzie’s maternity separates as a red carpet gown without so much as a judicious safety-pinning.

What a waist!

and no, I never thought I would type those words.

Speaking of which, they have failed me at the sight of the below. Hopefully you are stronger, and can leave your captions in the comments.

Oh Reej.

Lady Gaga is all about the gheys

Lady Gaga has a lot on her mind lately. In related news, science has once again confirmed the link between the brains of gay males and straight females.