When they said there were going plenty of fans waiting for me on the red carpet, that really wasn’t what I had in mind….

Here are the answers to Monday’s puzzle corner:
1. Marlene Dietrich
2. Diane Keaton
3. Julie Andrews
4. Rihanna
5. Dita Von Teese
6. Charlize Theron
7. Penelope Cruz
8. Ashley Olsen
9. Diane Kruger
10. Kate Moss

Congratulations to foxbeatus for a fantabulous 9 out of 10! We twirl our canes and tip our top hats in deference to your peerless knowledge of Celebrity Tuxedo Style. As your reward you have won a classic YSL Le Smoking Jacket previously worn by the likes of Catherine Deneuve (sadly I could not find a good pic) and others of similar grace.

It’s just, as they say, two men celebrating each other’s strength. After all, what else is there to do on the high seas apart from shuffleboard?

I know, we’re just as aghast as you are, Lil Kim. Whoever could foresee that one day you would meet such a formidable challenger in the cleavage and leg stakes?

This week we invite you to get in touch with your masculine side with the theme of “Female Celebrities in Tuxedos”. Check out the photo montage below and identify the suited up celeb in question for a possible 10 out of 10.

Answers will be put up on Wednesday morning. In the meantime I will be decked out in top hat and tails and moving smoothly to Puttin’ On the Ritz.

If only I could figure out how to remove this and delete my Facebook account, then they wouldn’t be able to track me anymore.

What is Kobe Bryant trying to show us here with his crafty use of sign language?
(a) His two favourite things about his wife
(b) NBA salaries are high enough to pay for a full set of implants
(c) Victory comes to those who can endure the discomfort of overly squished boobs
(d) We come in peace, even though my wife is about to explode from her dress