Ayyyy! American Idol!

PLUMCAKE: What you don’t see is that in the next frame, Randy teaches Paula how to put on lipstick without using any hands, Molly Ringwald style.

SPIRIT FINGERS: So that would make Paula the basketcase, and not just because she married Emilio Estevez (the athlete).

MANOLO: Simon is, I just think this is horrid. You’re trying for saucy and you’re coming up trampy. Do you really believe America is crying out for this?

SPIRIT FINGERS: No, she certainly didn’t put her best boob forward tonight.

MANOLO: Meanwhile Randy is all, Dayum, Paula, your shake and bake is showing.

SPIRIT FINGERS: The ole Escaping Bra trick is a great way to be included in the conversation or change the subject. “Hopefully a non-partisan Attorney General will staunchly advocate restoring the rule of law that has been buried for so long under a quagmire of bureaucratic…*sees bra* oooh sparkly!

PLUMCAKE: It is sort of mesmerizing. It’s as if a herring swallowed a croquet ball.

MANOLO: The Manolo is equally distracted by the fact that what Randy is wearing is not so much clothing as upholstery.

PLUMCAKE: I’m distracted by Randy’s topiary sideburn. Is it a ladle? It is a profile of a decapitated duck? America, you decide!

SPIRIT FINGERS: Any minute now, Justin Timberlake will be coming along to rip off that sparkly section of Paula’s dress. Ah Paula, still competing with Janet after all these years.

MANOLO: And Simon is apparently off to Vegas to appear on stage with Wayne Newton. Nice chest hair, Senor Swanky.

SPIRIT FINGERS: Simon’s chest hair has a mind of its own. It is America’s harshest critic.

PLUMCAKE: I’m just glad it’s not windy. Between Simon’s rackrug and Paula’s disco-teat we’d be running the risk of a full-on American Idol tandem nipple slip.

MANOLO: Ayyyy! The humanity!!!!

SPIRIT FINGERS: But it’s good to know these three have worked together long enough that they’re comfortable with checking out each other’s intimate fashion choices. We have a similar setup here at Ayyyy! I never go anywhere without first getting Manolo & Plumcake to pick out my underwear.

PLUMCAKE: Yeah, we’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.

8 Responses to “Ayyyy! American Idol!”

  1. Toby Wollin September 20, 2007 at 10:37 am #

    This is just so sad, somehow. Does Paula believe that the only way she has to look attractive AND female is to make sure everyone can see that she has mammaries? Holy Ned. Showing off all that real estate(or, perhaps not so real depending on how much “work” she might have had) just makes her look desperate to try to look “young”. She has a great figure, but you don’t have to expose every square inch of skin in order to “show it off”. I’m not looking for burqa’s here, but this is really sort of pathetic in my estimation. Now, having said THAT, I have to admit that I don’t think all the “real estate exposure” on female actresses is all that attractive or classy in any case, but I’m sure there are others who will disagree with me…

  2. JayKay September 20, 2007 at 1:43 pm #

    Ok, I LOVE when you guys post like this. The conversational aspect of it cracks me up!
    Thanks for the laughs this morning! Cheers to you all!

  3. Jennie September 20, 2007 at 6:44 pm #

    Her girls are hanging a little too low in that outfit. To quote Tim Gunn, a great outfit starts with the right foundation… Lift and Separate Paula!

  4. raincoaster September 20, 2007 at 8:09 pm #

    But Simon Cowell is still the sexiest bitch on television!

  5. sfmike September 20, 2007 at 11:23 pm #

    “No, she certainly didn’t put her best boob forward tonight.” is Classic Spirit Fingers and has instantly become my new mantra. So thank you, Manolo, for bringing S.F. to a wider audience and I hope you’re paying her something.

  6. toad September 21, 2007 at 2:19 pm #

    “….to warm soup spoons.”

  7. jen January 11, 2008 at 12:37 pm #

    Y’all crack me up!! Keep ’em coming!!