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Friday Caption Contest Results: Nirvana and RuPaul Edition

raincoaster — Tue, 15 May 2012 15:00:03 +0000

We’re slowly catching up on our imaginary-prize-giving for the Caption Contests. Come back with us to an earlier time. A simpler time. A significantly less fabulous time: the Nineties!

Nirvana and RuPaul

igirl99

April 2, 2012 at 1:05 am #

They were, without question, the worst Supremes cover band of all time.

Congratulations and imaginary swag to igirl99, a second-time winner, if my memory does not fail me. For her victory, we shall award her a case of black smudge stick eye liner from Stila and the very plaid, very 90′s Eugenia Kim black and beige ‘Sammy’ trooper hat from Bluefly.

Smells like…VICTORY!

Friday Caption Contest Results: Suri Stare Edition

raincoaster — Wed, 09 May 2012 15:14:07 +0000

We’re catching up on choosing the winners in our Caption Contests, having come to the realization you’re too smart to work for nothing, even if the something you’re awarded is completely imaginary! so…We’re starting with Suri and her hypnotic stare. Don’t forget to enter our current caption contest.

: Suri Googleyes

Desideria April 30, 2012 at 6:41 pm

“Mommy, in today’s auditing session, I finally achieved a State of Clear.”

Congratulations and imaginary swag to first-time winner Desideria. And now, to the illustrious hypothetical presentation of the swag of virtuality. To our Scientology-savvy winner, we present the Suri-worthy Fossil Kathleen Cat Eye sunglasses.

Shoe Out

raincoaster — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 08:37:06 +0000

Shoe Out

Fashion blogger Kate Schneider says she gets most of her fashion finds on sale. She neglected to specify how many of the other she got out of the back of Mummy’s closet.

If the shoe fits (and it’s nice) wear it. If it doesn’t, I hope you saved enough in the sale to pay for the broken neck you’re courting.

Post-Friday Caption Contest Results: Stella McCartney Edition

raincoaster — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 11:08:38 +0000

For Stella we give thanks, because without her, who’d we have to laugh at all damn week? Announcing our winner for last week’s contest:

Stella McCartney

Mudhooks
February 26, 2012 at 3:12 am

Specially designed for Kim Kardashian…

Congratulations and imaginary swag to Mudhooks! To her we hypothetically present the avian-themed imaginary
Riki Rosetta Anastasia Small Satchel in White Ostrich Leather to honour this design turkey.

Slightly-Delayed Friday Caption Contest Results: Waisting Away Edition

raincoaster — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 11:12:10 +0000

We’re back! Just in time to announce our winner of last week’s Caption Contest. Congratulations to all our entries, who kept it clean, kept it funny, and kept it WAY more polite than I would have.

SAMMICH, girl. Dayum! Your elbow shouldn't be the widest part of your arm

skahammer
February 12, 2012 at 2:15 am

Responding to IMF demands, the Romanian government’s belt-tightening measures sadly went too far.

Congratulations and imaginary swag to Skahammer! For our winner of indeterminate gender and undetermined circumference, we hypothetically present the entirely virtual swag of the actually real but in this case imago-swaginary New Yorker belt with solid silver fittings, from Vogt Silvesmiths. Talk about a money belt!

Lost and Found!

raincoaster — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 02:03:14 +0000

This is terrifying and sad, readers. It is nothing more nor less than the death of childhood. Turns out Snufalupagus, everyone’s secret favorite Sesame Street character, has finally turned up, in the most tragic way possible.

SNUFFY!!!!

I mean, that’s not even a good colour for Aretha!

Discreet Objects of Desire

raincoaster — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 09:20:33 +0000

Every now and then the interwebs show you something so breathtakingly perfect that you have to stop cold and simply admire in silent awe.

Douglas Fairbanks Jr

Ahem.

I refer, of course, to this little item featured by Bergdorf Goodman’s Tumblr.

DFJR's lighter

I don’t even smoke and yet I stand in awe of this marvelous little hunk of machined metal. It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever and, if you Santa finds he can’t quite deliver the items on my list (Julian Assange in brown leather jeans and handcuffs) he should know that Douglas Fairbanks Jr’s lighter would be an acceptable substitute. As would Douglas Fairbanks Jr!

Friday Caption Contest Results: Christmas Spike Edition

raincoaster — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 00:46:31 +0000

Santa’s just added one witty commenter to his Naughty List; that’s what I call a credential!

Spike is sad he missed out on that part in Bridget Jones's Diary

Natalie Anne Lanoville
November 26, 2011 at 10:18 pm
Shut down at the Buffy Christmas Party, Spike regrets the consulting fee he paid Derek Zoolander.

That’s two wins now for Natalie! And what has Santa Spike got in his sack for her this time? What could be better than a collection of Mark Roberts ’12 Days of Christmas’ Fairies?

Snow Bargain

raincoaster — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 16:50:30 +0000

We here at Manolosphere Global HQ were thrilled to the soles of our Manolos at the news that our beloved Uncle Karl Lagerfeld will be snowglobeified for Sephora’s Asian and European customers this year. Alas, Kaiser Karl has not allowed his gold-flecked mini-me to be sold to vulgar old Yanks, Meskins, or Canuckistanis. In these revolutionary times, I suggest we strike back! Fabulous (and fabulously-overpriced) ironic snow globes for EVERYONE!

Instead of this:

Snow matter

Buy this:

Yes. A $190, completely empty snow globe from Maison Martin Margiela. It perfectly represents our time: the emperor got dressed and put his hood up.

Friday Caption Contest: Christmas Spike

raincoaster — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 03:47:28 +0000

Yes, the holiday season is upon us. And just because your show was cancelled years ago and you’ve really never come into your own since, that’s no reason not to dress for celebration. And captioning.

Spike is sad he missed out on that part in Bridget Jones's Diary