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Caturday Caption Contest Results: Lil Bub vs Tardar Sauce

An exceptional round of captions, ladies, gentlemen, and rowdies of both sexes. The Cat Gods are pleased with your efforts. They have chosen one of you to be the winner!

Grumpy cat and Lil bub

Grumpy cat and Lil bub

Mike Still August 31, 2013 at 7:28 pm Edit #

W: This reincarnation stuff isn’t so bad.

Dick: Shut up. I still can’t go out in daylight, and I got my nuts cut off too.

Me-OW! Congratulations and kudos to Mike for his purr-fect caption. For his hypothetical prize of virtual splendor we present the Cartier Tiger Bracelet, a one of a kind piece that embodies all that is most glorious about the feline.

Go get 'em, Tiger!

Go get ’em, Tiger!

And just to keep the vibe going, we recommend this awesome piece in the WSJ on the making of one of these bracelets, and this astonishing Cartier ad, with an estimated cost of production of $4 million. That’s a lotta scratch!

Sock it to me!

It seems to be Vintage week chez Ayyyy, and that’s all right with me. The music was better. The movies were better. The television commercials were, like, so way better. And this is one of them.

If your husband, brother, father or son has ever known the utter mortification of having flashed a shiny shin, perhaps in a job interview, perhaps in an important meeting. Well, tell your XY that the solution has been found! In 1966!

Not only that, but these very socks are still available, and apparently still selling well. Never suffer the indignity of an inadvertent shin flash again!

Fashion in the Future! According to the Past!

This, my friends, is priceless. Via Weird Vintage, one of my favorite Tumblrs, I’ve found this glorious video from 1939 describing what fashion will be like in the Year 2000. Surprisingly, it’s not all that far off: we have silver in our sportswear (to cut the smell), convertible dresses and pants, see-through tops, bizarre ballgowns, and pretty much everything else they showed here except really, really snazzy hats. the shoes, in fact, are pretty much bang-on.

To be honest, I’m kind of glad that it wasn’t as accurate about men’s fashion. That is a Ming the Merciless as Playground Perv costume if ever I saw one.

Crocodile Bag Lady

Crocodile bag lady

Crocodile bag lady

You’re never too old for grunge! A middle-aged bag lady busts a gummy grin to show her appreciation for a good plaid flannel shirt as she gathers up scraps of fabric from which to form swaddling clothes for her squalling offspring.

Rihanna Moneybags

Rihanna Moneybags

Rihanna Moneybags

Oh RiRi, can you spare a dime? Singer Rihanna is pictured here leaving her personal bankers, Gringotts and Goldman, and was overheard complaining about the difficulty of finding a wallet of appropriate size.

The punchlines, they write themselves

Taylor Swift is big on pearl necklaces

Taylor Swift is big on pearl necklaces

Huh, Taylor Swift has a perfume line. Who knew? Ah, the things I’ve been missing by not buying my frragrances at truck stops! Have you heard the latest news? Taylor Swift’s new perfume Taylor comes with a pearl necklace. Make of that what you will. In related news, will Jake Gyllenhaal’s new perfume come with a beard?

Taylor by Taylor Swift

Taylor by Taylor Swift

Friday Caption Contest Results: Cannes Recycle Edition

It’s time to announce the winner of our gloriously-resurrected Friday Caption Contest. It really was a good round with some fresh entries, but in the end There Can Be Only One.

This is a green dress, no really

This is a green dress, no really

Klee May 18, 2013 at 10:31 pm #

“the deadliest catch” teams up with “project runway” to create the flotsam collection for fall 2013. Make it work!

Congratulations and imaginary swag to Klee! For her hypothetical trophy of virtual awesomeness, we present this antique bejewelled Fish Bangle Bracelet.

Fish Bracelet

This would actually work really well with that dress

Julianne Moore Toes Noes

Julianne Moore Toes Noes

Julianne Moore Toes Noes

The drag queens call this “serving shrimp,” but whatever you call it, it’s quite clear from this photo of the red carpet at Cannes that Julianne Moore Cannes stand a great deal of pain.

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