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Gold Member Datta Phuge

Gold Member Datta Phuge

Ladies, feast your eyes on this, the apotheosis of men’s wear. Of Man’s man’s wear.

This breathtakingly tasteless spectacle is Indian money lender Datta Phuge’s original design. Atop a base of white imported velvet (not that it matters, but who the hell imports silk velvet to India? From where? As if India ran out of silkworms!) the short-sleeved shirt is woven with solid gold threads, at a cost of about $22,000, and adorned with Swarovski crystal buttons. Really? Am I the only one thinking that overpriced rhinestones  on a solid gold shirt is just a freaking cop-out? Gimme some beryls, some lapis lazuli, at least some peridot!

Now, setting aside the obvious fact that the shirt is just gawdawful, let us examine the stated goals of the shirt:

  1. to attract women
  2. to advertise Phuge’s money lending business.

There’s no question that the shirt will succeed in achieving the first of these, although once he gets to know them he’ll probably conclude he’d rather draw flies. It doesn’t take too many avaricious good time girls to go through an entire stack of gold shirts at a nightclub.

As for the second, it is really the men’s casuals version of the Hummer I used to see driving around Vancouver, plastered with bumperstickers for

Miley Cyrus’s Strange Attraction

Miley Cyrus Beyond Thunderdome

Miley Cyrus Beyond Thunderdome

Something told her it had been a mistake to pair this outfit with the trendy new magnetic nail polish.

Friday Caption Contest: SJP unfortunate headgear edition

You know what to do. Do it in the comments section for fame and fabulous, completely imaginary prizes.



Friday Caption Contest Results: Spooky Edition

What can you say to Basil Rathbone, Peter Lorre, Boris Karloff, and Vincent Price? Not to mention the nameless terror which they face.


Spooky: Basil Rathbone, Peter Lorre, Boris Karloff, and Vincent Price

  1. Klee October 27, 2012 at 12:47 pm #

    Ryan Seacrest pitches E! Executives on an all-Kardashian network

Congratulations and imaginary swag to multi-winner Klee! To Klee we imaginarily present the red gold bat pendant.

Oh No, Oprah

Oh No, Oprah!

Oh No, Oprah!

Honey, This I Know For Sure: it ain’t the clothes that’s the problem here.

Lady Got Gaaaaaaaack!

Lady Gaga's back

Lady Gaga’s back

Someone should tell the not-so-little monster that she needs to go up to the B in pantyhose sizes now. That must feel very, very much like having to put on a two-hour song and dance show with a cheese wire between your legs.

But what does Sir Ian McKellen think?

With her recent launch of Body Revolution, guess she won’t be pricing out a tummy tuck any time soon.

Hat’s All: Philip Treacy

Philip Treacy Chinoiserie

Philip Treacy Chinoiserie

Philip Treacy is to hats what his oft-biz-partner (you have to specify nowadays) Alexander McQueen was to dresses: a supreme genius and a complete loonbat. Fabulous.

Here is his latest show from London Fashion Week. Dibs on the crazy multi-coloured feathered thingy with the iridescent train. Yes, a hat with a train: how could I resist? Although the large double wheel of pheasant feathers is also attractive, but probably only because the way the model is walking the front row of plumes is bouncing left when the back row is bouncing right. I’d have to buy her, and get her to wear it all the time, and what would be the fun in that? Actually, if he could make a leash that matched…hmmm.

Anyway, here’s your video. Sorry most of the captions for the Friday Caption Contest got caught by the spam filter over the weekend. I will have it taken out back and shot, I assure you. Prize presentation just as soon as I’m caught up on sleep!

Watch while you enjoy thumbing through a coffee table book of his best. Actually, they are sort of hats that were always waiting to be in coffee table books, don’t you think?

Jeremy Runner

Jeremy Runner

Jeremy Runner

I’m getting quite fond of this whack dude. First, who matches their watch band to their socks? Secondly, who wears shoes like that? Who on this planet? And how can you help loving a man who does both while also avoiding falling into the trap of preciousness? To convey the concept of masculine preciousness, I present Karl Lagerfeld. To portray the concept of masculine devil-may-care dapperness, I present Jeremy Renner. He has, as Damon Runyon described it, the gift of always giving the impression he is “getting a great bang out of life” and that, my friends, is better than an Oscar.

We’d like to see him in these Cesare Paciotti Mens Shoes Two Tone Boots. In fact, we’d like to see him in nothing BUT them.

Cesare Paciotti boots

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