Ayyyy!

It’s the Battle of the Bearded Speed Demons! Which one would you rather go for a spin around the block with – Kickass Keanu or Bad Boy Brody?

Sure, the Rob Roy is a classic cocktail. Anything good enough to ruin Dorothy Parker’s friends is good enough for me!

$cientology vs Samurai (AgentBedhead)

Meet the $cientology swordsman (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse realizes she can do better (CeleBitchy)

The Britney Circus (CelebritySmack)

Dope elopes (DailyStab)

Neil Patrick Harris is The Naked Man (JustJared)

Beyonce is 180% different from Kanye (CandyKirby)

Gwyneth Paltrow tells you how to run your Thanksgiving (INO)

The Coolest Church on Earth (MollyGood)

Blake, Incarcerated, thinks he’s moving up (Yeeeeah)

Adrien Brody and Beyonce are Cadillacs to everyone else’s Yugos (PopSugar)

David Spade is the patron saint of pulling out of your league (Websters)

 Joey Fatone is awful literal-minded! (SeriouslyOMG)

Mel B is no turkey (EvilBeet)

Britney’s bringing 1998 back (DListed)

Because what with Daylight Savings Time, even your morning coffee is drunk in the dark!

Kelly Osbourne robs the cradle (CelebWarship)

Eminem’s acorn didn’t fall far from the tree (CelebrityDirt)

Jennifer Aniston is Jennifer Aniston’s biggest fan (Websters)

Ashlee and Pete welcome the newest member of the Gawdawful Celebrity Baby Name Club (UKPopSugar)

Joe the Plumber has a book deal (MollyGood)

Cedric Diggory appears to be turning into Pete Doherty (JustJared)

America’s Next Top Recapper (IBBB)

Top 10 celebrity porn names (CandyKirby)

Moulin Rouge meets 80’s hair metal (GoFugYourself)

Rihanna to guest on Stargate any day now? (DListed)

Adrien Brody has a creepy stalker…who interviewed him for The Advocate (Defamer)

Sexiest Men Alive, now with scratch-n-sniff goodness! (Gawker)

The Divorce of the Century has been granted! (DailyStab)

Hugh Jackman overshares (CelebritySmack)

Hinterland’s Who’s Who: The Douchebag (CityRag)

Winona was high when she reached ground level (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Salon’s Sexiest Men Alive for Thinkers (CeleBitchy)

George Clooney supports Movember (AgentBedhead)

Yay for Rachel! What better to celebrate your victory in the lesbian polls than in a form-fitting Herve Leger bandage dress and Roger Vivier heels.  Meanwhile it seems like co-stars Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo are also trying to garner a gay fanbase of their own to the rhythm of a slow romantic beat.

Gwyneth Paltrow wears what the Manolo tells her to (JustJared)

Renee Zellweger, charter member, Starfuckers Incorporated (DailyStab)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck and My Little Pony: which one of these is slumming? (CandyKirby)

Shia LaBoeuf may or may not have gotten lucky(? if you call it that) (WendyWayrad)

John Cusack refers Paul Leydon to the hand (JeanJacketsBad)

Bloody Hell! Pete Doherty is insane (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

JLo goes all, like, Alpha Mommy on Nicole Richie (IBBB)

Adrien Brody is marrying retired Aunt Selma from Miami Beach? (ImNotObsessed)

Flat busted: Amy Winehouse arrested (People)

Ellen DeGeneris gently gyno-probes Ashlee Simpson (CelebritySmack)

Harrison Ford’s Brazilliant deforestation PSA/man-on-man chest waxing video (Defamer)

Celebrity cosmetic surgery slideshow (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Betty and Veronica: still best frenemies (CounterfeitChic)

Madonna is a natural beauty on “Today.” And what planet? (DListed)

Mariah Carey to turn Empire State Building gay (HollywoodRag)

Heidi Fleiss on her high horse again (WOWReport)

The happy(?) couple: Carmen Electra and Rock Himbo #3 pose for engagement pix (Websters)

Encounters with Seth Green (Mollygood)

Jonas Brothers kill and bury Elvis Costello, Johnny Cash’s musical cred (MTVBuzzworthy)

Clay Aiken thinks people from Omaha are stupid (EvilBeet)

Rachel Zoe is one cougar who never changes her spots (GoFugYourself)

Scientology teaches Katie Holmes to speak in tongues (CeleBitchy)

Scientology’s niece speaks! (AgentBedhead)

“Have you seen Chloe?

We’re going to the staff Halloween party after my 2:30 Rat Pack tribute on the Lido Deck.”