Ayyyy!

Indiana Jones and the Fortress of Suckitude? (AgentBedhead)

Cindy Crawford and the Potion of Immortality (IBBB)

Ashley Olsen: “Small world, isn’t it?” Elizabeth Hurley: “Too small for the two of us” (CelebritySmack)

That woman is old enough to be your granddaughter, George Clooney! (DListed)

This is how we say goodbye in Hollywood (Defamer)

Throw me the American Idol pedo, I’ll throw you the whip (GabbyBabble)

Don’t call him Junior! RyRey and ScarJo may breed (DailyStab)

Don’t call Ryan Seacrest Junior either! Although he probably likes it when you do that (CandyKirby)

Hollywood snakes. Why’d it have to be Hollywood snakes? (Mollygood)

Tori Spelling looking rough: It’s not the years, it’s the mileage (ImNotObsessed)

Pubic lice. Why’d it have to be pubic lice? (raincoaster)

Nina Garcia sez: You can’t do this to me! I’m an American! (PerezHilton)

Indiana Jones and the Temple of LaBeoufcake (JustJared)

So once again, law enforcement, what was briefly yours is now ours. Welcome back, Wino (CeleBitchy)

Obama is allowing you to tag along. So why don’t you give your mouth a rest? Okay, doll? (Gawker)

Paris Hilton prefers granny panties (Websters)

Mischa Barton doesn’t have enough body fat for that much cellulite! (SeriouslyOMG)

Celebrities send a message to Tom Cruise (JustJared)

ScarJo and RyRey are engaged (GabbyBabble)

Nine Inch Nails gives away their entire album for free (AgentBedhead)

Gary Dourdan was wearing Lindsay Lohan’s coke pants (Defamer)

TomCruise.com does not fail to bring the kray-zee! (Gawker)

Britney to make special guest appearance in court (ImNotObsessed)

Gwyneth Paltrow finds her son disturbing (DailyStab)

Lawn Gyland sets the bar high: Dina Lohan is Mother of the Year (CandyKirby)

Stripper-portraying “actress” Lindsay Lohan to stretch self again on Ugly Betty (POTP)

The Jennifer Aniston love machine lays waste to Hollywood, if you believe her PR (Mollygood)

Simon Cowell may not be all menthol-flavoured sweetness and light (ICYDK)

Jessica Simpson’s boobaerobics (CityRag)

They shot the wrong one: Heidi lives! (IBBB)

Celebs at the Kentucky Derby (HollywoodRag)

God cannot kill Bai Ling! (DListed)

Nicole Richie not exactly prepared for this whole “motherhood” thing (CeleBitchy)

With a name like “Peaches” what are the odds she’d turn out boring? (CelebritySmack)

John Mayer commemorates this day with historic haircut (CelebrityDirt)

Christina Aguilera is overcome at the emotional celebration (CandyKirby)

Asbestos is the opiate of the people…the people who go on Scientology cruises (AgentBedhead)

Madonna and Justin Timberlake entertain the masses (DailyStab)

Let them eat brioche, say Angie and Brad (ImNotObsessed)

Brazilian shoemaker poses with accessibly-priced, responsibly-manufactured footwear (DerekHail)

Britney Spears blew $61 million dollars in one year and you earn no interest on your tax refund (CeleBitchy)

Gadfly of the establishment the DC Madam dies under mysterious circumstances (Jezebel)

The Man keeps the People down yet again (DListed)

Comrade Ricky Martin launches human rights hotline (ICYDK)

Performers reenact the effect of Capitalism on the Worker. Also: hawt (CelebSlam)

People Magazine now the official newsletter of Doublethink (Websters)

The Opiate of the People just got the cover of Time (Mollygood)

SATC collective maintains party line (PopSugar)

Rehab a rehab: do I smell a new Vegas-themed commune? (Defamer)

At least someone was on hand to sound the death knell for protest marches: Million DJ March (Gawker)

Control of the means of production means Stella McCartney will keep you in pretty, lucite chains (GabbyBabble)

The overlords stick together even on AI (CelebritySmack)

The Good Soldier: Link challenge accepted (AgentBedhead)

NHL/Hollywood doppelgangers (Defamer)

Hey, big spender! TomKat blows $100,000 on Suri’s birthday party (GabbyBabble)

Smelling a trend: Julia Roberts is “naturally fragrant” (Ecorazzi)

Kelly Clarkson is a naturist (TheBlemish)

Paris Hilton doesn’t stay at the Moscow Hilton, got banned from Moscow Hyatt (TheRadReport)

Spears Family a living example of laissez-faire divinity (WendyWayrad)

A waiting world salivates: OJ Simpson vs Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice! (AgentBedhead)

Harriet Carter and the penis leaker? (IBBB)

Laurie Anderson finally makes an honest man of Lou Reed (CelebWarship)

Miley Cyrus, literatus? (People)

Will Ferrell still willing to work with children (DailyStab)

The Revenge of Grace Jones: hot male celebs who look like lesbians (CityRag)

That’s so Orlando Brown: star goes missing (BittenAndBound)

Also missing: Lake Bell’s neck (WebstersIsMyBitch)

MarkeyMarkMarkIII (ImNotObsessed)

Mariah Carey not a breeder: call from Alicia Keys on line #1? (CelebritySmack)

Elijah Wood in: Sex and the Spaghetti (CandyKirby)

Amy Winehouse is British youth’s top heroin heroine (NewMusicExpress)

Kumar goes to U Penn without Harold! (Celebitchy)

Rachel McAdams is a Genius Barfly (JustJared)

Michelle Williams is haunted by the ghost of Heath Ledger? (Mollygood)

American Idol, kiss, KISS (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Tila Tequila has a series and Paris Hilton doesn’t: justice? (Dlisted)

Robert Downey Jr is a cunning linguist (Jossip)

Amy Winehouse doesn’t have a leg to stand on, almost (WendyWayrad)

NKOTB are miracle workers! (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan parties with fellow leggings abuser (DailyStab)

Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest’s Tryst night (DListed)

Ellen Page (1 nomination, 0 Oscars) severely disses Jane Fonda (6 nominations, 2 Oscars) (Defamer)

Courtney Love’s purse pharmacy (Yeeeeah)

Jeri Ryan Seacrest, Pamela Anderson Cooper, and Boy George Bush (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Disney Superstar goes naked Down Under (CircusHour)

74 reasons to hate TMZ (Gawker)

More than you needed to know about Roseanne Barr’s ladyparts (CelebritySmack)

Doogie Howser hates Britney Spears (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jamie-Lynn Spears hurt in drunken brawl (CeleBitchy)

Gangland rumbles reach new low: nursery school (Bossip)

Aging Canadian surgical curiosity and sex cougar invited to White House (ICYDK)

Simon Cowell haunts Maternity wards to bathe his skin in life-giving placenta (HollywoodRag)

Halle Berry is a golf fanatic? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Your dose of downer: Celebrity incomes (HuffPo)

Posh Spice and the Adams family (JustJared)

Pete’s in the pokey (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse is a wigger (Yeeeeah)

Wigger, please. Benji Madden’s blackface birthday (ImNotObsessed)

Top Ten most hated people on the internet (Radar)

Stars in their eyes, parole in their futures: top 25 child stars (Defamer)

Nobody puts Swayze in the corner (CeleBitchy)

Tom Cruise’s Village People connection (HollywoodOffender)

Naomi Campbell is black, beautiful, bitchy, and banned (TheBlemish)

Bai Ling is Grand Fug Champion, 2008 (GoFugYourself)

War of the Worlds 2 starring John Travolta and not at all insane Tom Cruise (CelebritySmack)

Christina Aguilera’s peeled pool party profanity (GenosWorld)

Jessica Simpson finds her dream man (Websters)

The inexorable return of Corey Haim (SeriouslyOMG)

90210 2.0 (CircusHour)

I Ken Lee: a YouTube superstar is born (TheManolo)

Brian Atene: a YouTube superstar returns (YouTube)

Kate Beckinsale’s Kiefer Sutherland fantasy (DailyStab)

David Beckham has been a bad, bad boy (JustJared)

Jenna Bush O-Face (Webster’s)

20 most expensive celebrity divorces (CustomizedGirl)

Amy Winehouse is not exactly “clean, green power” (Yeeeeah)

Brad Pitt is not black enough! (PopOnThePop)

We have a Scientologist DOWN! Repeat: we have a Scientologist DOWN! (TheBlemish)

Former child star begins the long slide into bankruptcy, boozing, and B&E’s (AgentBedhead)

It’s La Pequeña’s world. We just live in it (Dlisted)

George Clooney keeps a lid on it (JustJared)

JC Chasez does not Chace Crawford (Mollygood)

Gold digger headed straight for the center of the Earth (DailyStab)

Win a date with Barack Obama! (Stereohyped)

Someone needs to tell Demi Moore it’s just a metaphor (ImNotObsessed)

Lucy Liu wants to be a WASP fashionista popsicle zombie (ICYDK)

Top Model walks? (Defamer)

Most historically inaccurate films (YahooMovies)

Robin Williams soon to be EX-Mrs.Doubtfire (ExtraTV)

Artificial Sweetener Valley High (Gawker)

Tom Cruise and John Travolta abducted by aliens! (CircusHour)

At American Idol, every moment is happy hour (GoFugYourself)

Bar raised (Defamer)

Hammer dropped (AgentBedhead)

Lohan smashed (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Rick, rolled (Guardian)

Rowling potty? (Celebitchy)

Hunky Jesus (Mike Responts)

Presley poisoned! (GabbyBabble)

Hunk drunk (ASocialitesLife)

Carey doubt? (Bossip)

Amy Outhouse (Yeeeeah)

Nice…Spaniards (ImNotObsessed)

Manilow? NO! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Owen’s pickup (Popsugar)

Malthusian Catastrophe (Websters)

Mutual bonding (IDLYITW)

Alba time (DailyStab)

Go-Go’s gone (CelebritySmack)

Cognitive dissonance (CircusHour)

Infomercials: WTF? (LiquidGeneration)

Jackass demonstrates jackassery (GabbyBabble)

The Naughty outpulls the Nanny: Fran Drescher snubbed by paparazzi (TMZ)

What the Elle? (Yeeeeah)

DANNY BONADUCE MAKES TOTAL SENSE!!!!! (CelebritySmack)

Forget Waldo: where in the world is Suri? (Celebitchy)

Your heartbreaking Amy Winehouse pic o’ the day (CelebWarship)

Pete Doherty fan demonstrates British foreign policy at concert (HolyMoly)

Princess Kalina brings her baby back to Bulgaria (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Lindsay Lohan’s lesbian love triangle (CelebNewsWire)

The difference between Simon Cowell’s car and mine (CelebrityDirt)

Miley Cyrus as the Easter Bunny (CircusHour)

Hollywood’s biggest fashion offenders (DailyStab)

Kate Beckinsale’s fugu phobia (PerezHilton)

The end of civilization as we know it, and it’s Paris Hilton’s fault (Mollygood)

Nothing is sacred to Disney (Dlisted)

Bruce Willis will moisten a bitch! (ICYDK)

Twelve greatest opening credits in history (AgentBedhead)

Nicole Kidman’s Botox cannot hide her excitement (Defamer)

Jesus died on the cross so you would tip your damn barista (Jezebel)

How to be a YouTube superstar (Gawker)

Celebs know you hate them (Gawker)

We’ve lost Will Smith (Defamer)

Conan the Late Night Barbarian (Cityrag)

Kelly Clarkson is a Commando! (DailyStab)

Who’d you rather? Luck of the drunkish game (LiquidGeneration)

50 animals with drinking problems (BestWeekEver)

Heather Mills gets nearly $50 million, makes her daughter fly coach anyway (Celebitchy)

Cindy Crawford’s beach house like a Russian nesting doll (Celebslam)

Full Frontal Friday (NSFW! and Jim Carrey is on there!) (CrazyDaysAndNights)

The end of Abba (GlitteratiGossip)

Divorce is pricey, y’all! (EvilBeet)

Michael Stipe’s closet has a revolving door (Dlisted)

Breaking: Ashton Kutcher is decorative (ImNotObsessed)

Orlando Bloom’s face suitable for scrubbing pans in a diner. Still decorative, though (Popsugar)

Pussycat Doll wears Mom Jeans! (TheGrumpiest)

Nicole Richie is as sick of Paris Hilton as everyone else (CelebritySmack)

Heather Mills is psychostylin’ (GoFugYourself)

Britney Spears in: Mad Max, Beyond Thunderthighs! (Yeeeeah)

Celebrities who look like leprechauns (CircusHour)

Halle Berry had her baby girl (PerezHilton)

Ryan Seacrest’s shameful, secret passion for Simon Cowell (AgentBedhead)

Johnny Depp, The Hoff, and the Demon Barber Chair of Fleet Street (Celebitchy)

RIP blues guitarist Jeff Healey (EW)

Marion Cotillard says she was misquoted (Dlisted)

Accidents and babydaddy uncertainty are all in the family: the Spears family (Celebslam)

Angelina Jolie cannot be unsexed (Cityrag)

Scarlett Johansson auctions herself off (ImNotObsessed)

George Clooney doesn’t need no stinking swag bag (Gabsmash)

Sienna Miller loves coke (Ninjadude)

Olsen Twins’s book leaked! (236)

Kate Moss demoted (Popsugar)

Oprah is such a giver (IBBB)

Elle MacPherson shows off her lingerie line (CelebritySmack)

Prince Harry is a cunning linguist (CircusHour)

Sandra Bernhard supports a losing cause (AwfulPlasticSurgery)

Jamie-Lynn is expecting a boy, massive publicity (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Liveblogging the Oscars (Defamer)

Jimmy Kimmel is fucking Ben Affleck (Gawker)

Britney taken away by the men in white coats (TMZ)

Christina Aguilera has baby rage (Hollyscoop)

Eli Roth is a bedhead beyond belief (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan had too many double waters on the rocks (CelebritySmack)

Katie Holmes was delusional as a child (ImNotObsessed)

Directions to the Playboy Mansion (Derober)

Lessons from the Oscars (CircusHour)

Enough with the Oscars: who won the Razzies? (HolyMoly)

Worst idea for a musical ev-ar (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Gary Busey’s attempted red carpet rape of Jennifer Garner thwarted by Ryan “Macho” Seacrest (ASocialitesLife)

Pot calls kettle black (PerezHilton)

Diablo Cody won’t wear your stupid million dollar shoes! (Mollygood)

The Jolie-Pitt baby bump debuted to massive acclaim (Websters)

Falling Slowly for the song of the year (EvilBeet)

Kimora Lee Simmons’ death by a thousand quotes (Celebitchy)

Ben Affleck is so macho (Dlisted)

Hugh Jackman is uh is uh what was I saying? (Popsugar)