April 7, 2011 in
Accessory to Crime,American Idol,Bad hair,Fashion Victim,Reality Show Stars,Rockers and Popstars with
Pia Toscano has obviously pissed off her stylist for the LAST TIME
I’m fortunate in living in Canuckistan, able to avoid the weekly viewing of American Idol which is, I believe, mandatory in the States, but last night I was visiting a friend who happens to be addicted to reality tv, and so this travesty was flashed before my eyes. Now, one is reminded, one is, of the Nixon-Kennedy debate: those who listened to it on radio thought that Nixon had won, while those who watched it and were treated to Tricky Dicky’s sweaty visage plumped for Kennedy. I’m just gonna lay it out here: if this poor songbird had not been trussed up in a strapless, shapeless ikat romper that was obviously fished out of someone’s grandma’s closet (the Late 70’s Costume Party Material section) she would still be a contender.
I had originally wished to say much the same about the Femulleted country crooner done up in the formal gingham shorts that gave her a backside as big as the Prairies, but not only is she still in (America loves a Femullet!) but Google has apparently banned it from their image search as NSFLunch.
UPDATE: L.A.M.B. No wonder. Give people too much punctuation and it goes straight to their (swelled, gelled, and poufed) heads.
February 19, 2011 in
Accessory to Crime,American Idol,Blake Lively,Brad Pitt,Britney Spears,Daniel Radcliffe,Designers,Gwen Stefani,Gwyneth Paltrow,Hairy Situations,Joan Collins,Justin Bieber,Kardashian,Lady Gaga,Living legend,Louboutin,Mariah Carey,Nicole Richie,Rockers and Popstars,Shoes,Starlets with
Christian Louboutin has a lot to answer for (for which to answer? Whatever) in particular these heinosities for both sexes:
For Gentlemen:
This Louboutin demonstrates what men think of as "spikes"
And for the Ladies:
To Lady Gaga, these are just fluffy
Now, I’m sorry.
No, I’m not.
But these BOTH look like either two people suffering from EPIC plantar warts (isn’t it nice they found each other? I bet the romcom would star Jennifer Aniston and Ben Stiller, and be nearly as painful as the disease) OR they were lovingly hand-crafted in an Italian atelier from the intimate membranes of a Stegosaurus with history’s worst case of genital warts.
Having planted that lovely thought in your head, I’ll now degrade you further with todays corny links.
Britney Spears is corny (Lolebrity)
Just say YES to creamed corn and ketchup with this delicacy (Manolofood)
“Evergreen” is still the top kernel of corn (raincoaster)
Joan Collins’ liquor is a little more rarefied (ayyyy)
Gaga’s brains are totally frittata (AgentBedhead)
Chris CORNell (BusyBeeBlogger)
Duelling cornballs, nobody wins! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Bagel-to-Perogy communications perfected (DippedInCream)
Kingston’s just a niblet off the ol’ cob (CelebritySmack)
What the Adele? Isn’t WalMart too cornepone? (CelebVIPLounge)
Elisabetta Corn-all-ass (CityRag)
Aw, shucks, Canada’s hottest export returns! (DailyStab)
Gaga’s husky voice comes from the Whiskey Yoga Diet (GirlsTalkinSmack)
I always forget which one is Korny (FitFabCeleb)
Bieber creamed! (SeriouslyOMG)
Daniel Radcliffe is all Aw Shucks (CeleBitchy)
She’s a niblet, and shrinking! (TheSkinny)
Nice stalks! (GossipTeen)
Is that a corncob in your pocket, Brad, or??? (HaveUHeard)
Simon Cowell is picking Canada’s best crop of niblets (INeedMyFix)
If Gwyneth Paltrow is a vegan, does that make her a cannibal? (AmyGrindhouse)
Britney got her silks combed (PoorBritney)
Sui, Sui, pig, pig, pig (PopBytes)
Mariah’s ready to pop (EvilBeet)
February 11, 2011 in
American Idol,Anderson Cooper,Ayyyy!,Bad Plastic Surgery,Billionaires,Booze,Britney Spears,Celebrity,Cougars,Crazy Couples,Euro,Fashion Victim,Hats,Jennifer Aniston,Jennifer Hudson,Kardashian,Kate Hudson,Lady Gaga,Nicole Richie,Owen Wilson,Politicians,Reality Show Stars,Rockers and Popstars,Roues,Royalty,Ryan Reynolds,Scarlett Johanssen,Socialites,Starlets,Super Models,Weddings with
Congrats to the cute couple
Awww, isn’t that cute? The Duchess of Alba and her boytoy Alfonso Díez are making it legal. Living proof, if any were needed, that an aggressive nose job that results in you breathing out of two large pores in the middle of your face is never a wasted expense, if it allows one to attract men known to society paper readers everywhere as “and Unnamed Friend”.
In honour of the lovely couple, let’s toast them with a classic Champagne cocktail fortified with a little Spanish brandy, and read some sexy gossip links:
inside raincoaster (raincoaster)
Ryan Reynolds has a sexy fra…what was I saying? (Ayyyy)
Kate Spade’s sexy movie (ManoloFood)
Fred and George Weasley KNOW they’ve got it (Lolebrity)
Sir Elton has some words for our generation’s biggest a$$ (AgentBedhead)
Chris Isaak’s steamy new video (BusyBeeBlogger)
Tila Tequila’s sex tape means we’ll never be rid of her (CelebDirtyLaundry)
WHAT is Gaga doing to herself in bed? (CelebritySmack)
ScarJo doesn’t let cobwebs grow on her ladybits (CelebVIPLounge)
VD Stars! (CityRag)
OMG Tila Tequila and Jennifer Aniston appear in sketchy video together (DailyStab)
Michelle Trachtenberg loves her body and tells you ALL about it (FitFabCeleb)
They get wet (GirlsTalkinSmack)
J Hud talks about her new body (HaveUHeard)
Anderson Cooper is NOT into beatings! (INeedMyFix)
Britney’s got yogabutt! (PoorBritney)
What’s Lady Gaga’s sex name? (PopBytes)
Forget the body: what has Nicole Richie done to her face? (TheSkinny)
Chuck Berry on line one… (SeriouslyOMG)
December 24, 2010 in
American Idol,Artists,Ayyyy!,babies,Bad hair,Charo,Cougars,Fashion,Fashion Victim,Grace Jones,John Cusack,Paris Hilton,Reality Show Stars,Ryan Reynolds,The Olsen Twins,WTF?,Zac Efron with
October 14, 2010 in
American Idol,Bloggers,Booze,Breaking Up,Britney Spears,Celebrity,Cloris Leachman,Colin Farrell,Comebacks,Crazy Couples,Drag,Fashion,Fashion Victim,Has Beens,Hunks,Johnny Depp,Kiera Knightley,Lindsay Lohan,Oprah Winfrey,Punk,Reality Show Stars,Rehab,Rockers and Popstars,Taylor Momsen,Trent Reznor with
I don’t honestly think we’ve had Trent before, so here is the lovely Nine Inch Nails founder in all his post-heroinal, pre-steroidal glory from a few years back. He’s so thick and beefy lately that he’s got double chins behind his ears. Not. A. Good. Look.
Instead of toasting this with the obvious choice of a protein shake, I suggest a nice goblet of Mansinthe: sure, Absinthe tastes appalling, but it sets the goth/emo tone and whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Aw, shaddap and write a poem about the taste of wormwood, whydoncha?
Chairdancing With The Hotties (raincoaster)
Bobby Trendy, Big Mouth (Ayyyy)
Johnny Depp-O-Rama (Lolebrity)
Lindsay Lohan’s badass, coke-seeing escape attempt (CelebrityBeehive)
Heather Graham has swimmer’s ear (AgentBedhead)
David Arquette mistakes Howard Stern for Oprah Winfrey (AmyGrindhouse)
Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Suddenly, there’s not a dry seat in the house! (CeleBitchy)
The end days are upon us: even men hate Jennifer Aniston now (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Bad Panda! (DListed)
That’s a whole LOTTA tablecloth, Keira (GoFugYourself)
Taylor Swift is still an angsty teen (HaveUHeard)
Raisin on board! (INeedMyFix)
Perez Hilton, nice guy? (PerezHilton)
Does Britney Spears have a crush on George Stephanopoulos (PoorBritney)
Michael J. Fox goes back to Back to the Future! (SeriouslyOMG)
Adam Sandler makes a lousy lesbian (ASL)
May 27, 2010 in
Accessory to Crime,Adrien Brody,American Idol,Awards Show,Bad Plastic Surgery,Beyonce,Celebrity,Cougars,Daniel Radcliffe,Designers,Emma Watson,Euro,Fashion,Fashion Victim,Fergie,Hairy Situations,Has Beens,Hunks,Jake Gyllenhaal,Jay-Z,John Travolta,Katie Holmes,Katy Perry,Lindsay Lohan,Literati,Liza Minelli,Nicole Kidman,Paula Abdul,Reality Show Stars,Robert Pattison,Rockers and Popstars,Royalty,Sarah Jessica Parker,Shoes,Some Day My Prints Will Come,Super Fantastic!,Suri Cruise with
April 5, 2010 in
American Idol,Angelina Jolie,Ayyyy!,babies,Bad Plastic Surgery,Ben Affleck,Bennifer,Bloggers,Brad Pitt,Brangelina,Celebrity,Celebrity Dads,Crazy Couples,Has Beens,Heidi Montag,Hunks,Jennifer Garner,Jennifer Hudson,Kate Hudson,Katie Holmes,Katy Perry,Lady Gaga,Mary Kate Olsen,Nicolas Cage,Reality Show Stars,Robert Pattison,Rockers and Popstars,Scandals,Starlets,Super Models,Suri Cruise,The Olsen Twins with