“Juliet? You’re breaking up…look, why don’t we just meet at the churchyard? You bring the eyeliner and candles, I’ll bring some Evanescence CDs.”

He Pingping was a small wonder (True/Slant)

Bogie prepares to par-tay! (Lolebrity)

Iggy goes off-script (AgentBedhead)

The Betty and Veronica of male has-beens continue their respective roles (AmyGrindhouse)

Russell Brand can’t even walk barefoot correctly (BusyBeeBlogger)

Britney’s on the loose! (CeleBitchy)

Irish sayings for St. Patrick’s Day (CelebritySmack)

American Idol is killer (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Michael Lohan has a heart??? (DailyStab)

Kim Cattrall, Cat woman (INeedMyFix)

Kirstie Alley is cheap and irreligious! (HaveUHeard)

Shia Labeouf  should have gotten a hook! (GabbyBabble)

Have you seen Kate Winslet’s bum? (EvilBeet)

Betty White is a goddess! (IBBB)

Justin Biehber is a Twit! (LitelySalted)

Coco is a dictator! (Movieline)

Ben Stiller is a victim! (SeriouslyOMG)

Supernatural is covered! (TenGossip)

Here we see heir to the British Throne His Royal Highness Prince Charles Philip Arthur George, Prince of Wales, KG, KT, GCB, OM, AK, QSO, PC, ADC, Earl of Chester, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the Isles and Prince and Great Steward of Scotland presenting medals to soldiers of the famed and historic Black Watch. Which points up two things:

one, that the Black Watch has abandoned the wearing of Black Watch, and

two, that if we can see him the camo doesn’t work very well!

Which reminds me of the time I was walking down The Drive and saw this guy dressed head to toe in camo. Camo shoes, pants, jacket, tee, hat, and backpack. I deliberately bumped into him and said, “Oh, sorry. I didn’t see you.”

He didn’t get it.

The Revenge of Coco (Gawker)

Quentin Tarantino to helm Conan flick (AgentBedhead)

Neil Patrick Harris shares a touching moment with Mickey Rourke (Lolebrity)

Old Friends (AmyGrindhouse)

Sig Hell! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Putting the “Brit” in Britney (CeleBitchy)

Finally, someone impresses Simon Cowell (CelebritySmack)

Golden gobs (HolyCandy)

Angel Falls to Earth (this is not a repeat from Paradise Lost) (INeedMyFix)

Hilary Duff, Garbo impersonator (JustJared)

Ice this old qualifies as glacial, no? (UKPopSugar)

Not enough Cthulhu! (Movieline)

The Cupcake of Doom (Crunk&Disorderly)

Lindsay Lohan embarks on a new career (DListed)

Martha Stewart goes pole hog (EvilBeet)

Jay, even the angry lesbians are against you now. Surrender before you get maimed (GabbyBabble)

Re-assemble your celebrity (INO)

In the spirit of Celebrity Dad Faceoff and The Monday Hotness, and with an acknowledging fist-bump to the literary meme going around the Manolosphere, we present Hump Day Links. Uh, no reason I chose that title.

And for, uh, no particular reason other than – ah – my proper esteem for public intellectuals, today I present:

The Men of Vanity Fair

Michael Lewis

William Langewiesche

Sebastian Junger

Uhhh, what was I saying? Right, public intellectuals and literacy and all like that there. Yeah, Dorothy Parker is my homegirl.

I don’t know about you, but I could use a refreshing Cold Shower after that! Now, to the hunk hump links!

Cool nekkid vamps (AgentBedhead)

Guess the hottie (AmyGrindhouse)

Soon to be the biggest-selling gift item ever (BricksAndStones)

Dexter, killer dad (BusyBeeBlogger)

Tots for t*ts (LaughingStork)

RPattz just needs the love of a good six-pack (CeleBitchy)

Clooney, Crawford, and choppers (AccidentalSexiness)

Tom Brady’s sports sisters (CelebritySmack)

Gerard Butler forecasts hot and humid! (TenGossip)

Simon Cowell takes another victim (DailyStab)

Sherlocked Up Holmes (Gawker)

Peter Andre loses 140lbs (GabbyBabble)

Douglas Family Values (EvilBeet)

Gerard Butler has something to tell you (DListed)

Justin Timberlake hits the Open Road (INO)

Leo, topless (JustJared)

The man who invented Himbos (Movieline)

Heath Ledger’s King Rat (UKPopSugar)

Jack Nicholson, party animal (SeriouslyOMG)

It’s a MAN, BABY! (HolyMoly)

Ryan Reynolds, topless (Websters)

Oh, and uh, Graydon Carter, of course:

I really should invest the time in finding a site or two with good nonalcoholic drinks recipes if I’m going to keep up this clean living thing, shouldn’t I?

Uwe Boll will not be kept down (AgentBedhead)

Mariah Carey rocks the Grade 7 look (AmyGrindhouse)

Kiefer Sutherland is calling me (BusyBeeBlogger)

Golddigger dug herself a hole (CeleBitchy)

The Prince of Paris (CelebritySmack)

Eve is transracial (CelebuWreck)

LiRo? SamLo? LOL! (HolyMoly)

Inaho/Kate Moss/sushi; make up your own punny headline (UKPopSugar)

Michelle Obama in Time (DailyStab)

Cher! Xtina! Burlesque! What more do you need to know? (DListed)

Harriet Carter’s magical doorway to the past (IBBB)

When stars attack…fans (SeriouslyOMG)

Is there a telethon for Lambertitis? (TenGossip)

Live without regrets…except that mis-spelled tattoo (Websters)

All I can say is, I’d better damn well be losing weight. Tofu, people! I’m consuming tofu! Of my own free will!

Has it come to this?

Katy Perry kissed a girl and broke a mirror (Websters)

Are Ellen and Josh the new Kiki and Herb? (TenGossip)(raincoaster)

Kate Hudson recycles (ASL)

Courtney Love, put that back where it belongs! (SeriouslyOMG)

Courtney’s sandblasting not party-resistant (PopBytes)

Unicorn chaser: Tiger Woods is a daddy again (WizbangPop)

Beyonce hates her feet? (UKPopSugar)

The Rihanna/Chris Brown lesson (EvilBeet)

ARoid (CandyKirby)

SJP goes dark (JustJared)

Brace yourself for Fantasia (IBBB)

I dream of … Maiysha? (GoFugYourself)

Kate Winslet worships her bum (GabbyBabble)

It’s Jennifer Aniston’s party and she’ll cry if she wants to (HolyMoly)

Madonna reenacts the Pieta (Defamer)

Kate Moss has met her Evil Understudy (AgentBedhead)

Britney burgled? (CeleBitchy)

Do you think any of these people could hold down a real job? (CelebritySmack)

When you’ve got That Flu, That Flu That Everyone Has Right Now, and you need to get some blogging done, there’s only one thing you can do: mainline the caffeine.

David Bowie, mastermind of evil! (AgentBedhead)

Travolta blackmailed? (AmyGrindhouse)

White people wanted (BWE)

Amy Winehouse sings (CelebWarship)

Tom Cruise unmasks Anonymous (CeleBitchy)

KFat is insulated for winter (GlamBabyBumps)

Katy Perry has good news for girls (CelebritySmack)

The Razzie nomnomnoms are in (DailyStab)

Liveblogging the Oscar noms (Defamer)

Diane Sawyer, drunkard? (Gawker)

Clooney returns to the small screen (EvilBeet)

Karl Lagerfeld, astronaut (FakeKarl)

Lily Allen, champion of drunk buys (GabbyBabble)

Ryan Seacrest > Obama (CandyKirby)

Brad Pitt, flasher! (JustJared)

Kiefer takes London (UKPopSugar)

Joaquin Phoenix, perfectionist (HolyMoly)

Sigourney Beaver (Websters)

Amy Winehouse, heroine (Yeeeeah)

You need something nourishing if you’re going to pull an all-nighter, and the midnight cocktail has nutritious Stout, full of sustaining carbs!

Michael Jackson “his” Blanket (YBF)

Bai Ling and Mickey Rourke, king and queen of Hell Prom Night (Websters)

Dame Edna for MAC cosmetics, NO REALLY (WOWReport)

Paula Abdul changes it up (CityRag)

Oprah was a bad girl? Are you on crack? (CeleBitchy)

How to make it onto American Idol in 20 easy steps (BWE)

Is this the next Ambassador to the Court of St. James? (FakeKarl)

The Hudson River Miracle (Gawker)

The Hero of the Hudson (EvilBeet)

Christmas lives forever in the heart of Taylor Momsen (JustJared)

Jade Goody has never looked better (HollywoodTuna)

The BAFTAS don’t care about British people! (Defamer)

Katie Holmes is on fiyah! (CandyKirby)

Sienna Miller shops from someone else’s cart (Lainey)

Britney’s Fantasy Island discovered, mapped (GOTA)

Patrick Swayze is ON! (SeriouslyOMG)

Stars as Big Girls (PopBytes)

Pink never drops them, she just recycles them (POTP)

Lily Allen is VERY close to her brother (BFYL)

Travesty Alert: Karate Kid remake (IBBB)

The hottest accessory in Hollywood (CelebritySmack)

Karl does not care about your demode recession woes (HolyMoly)

Fake Chanel, real useful (Cvxn)

Anne Hathaway has found her new liar (AmyGrindhouse)

Verne Troyer on the rampage! (TheLondonBlog)

How to start a cult (AgentBedhead)

The Happy Birthday Kate Moss quiz (UKPopSugar)

Today there was a big, scary yellow thing in the sky. Someone said it was something they’d had in Alberta as a child, but I’d never seen it before in Vancouver. Someone else said it emitted harmful radiation and we should all take cover. I took her advice, took off, took cover, and took solace in a fine merlot from a friend. What are you taking?

The latest trend in Wall Street downsizing (Jossip)

Run DMC this way to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Hudson goes back to work (AmyGrindhouse)

Amy Winehouse limbers up for a long day of getting drunk (CeleBitchy)

MacBecks, the opera (HolyMoly)

A day without Bobby Trendy is like… (CelebritySmack)

BAFTA nominations announced (UKPopSugar)

Have YOU been infected by Paris Hilton? (DailyStab)

Paula Abdul’s bondage bodice (DanasDirt)

RIP Ricardo Montalban (Defamer)

Kelly Rutherford’s divorce gets dark (GabbyBabble)

Victoria Beckham in someone else’s underwear (EvilBeet)

Morgan Freeman wants to know if you have a problem with it? (CandyKirby)

Harriet Carter Beauty Wednesday (IBBB)

Sienna Miller apparently on the Courtney Love diet (JustJared)

Before They Were Famous: Simon Cowell (SeriouslyOMG)

Oprah loves Kate’s Golden Globes (ASL)

Cam vs Drew? (Websters)