Ayyyy!

Blind-or-maybe-just-nearsighted Item: Jason Lewis’s stinky ex (AgentBedhead)

Christina Ricci cat iz disapprovin (Lolebrity)

George Clooney is a free man! (CelebritySmack)

Woody Harrelson, recreational hunger striker (HolyMoly)

David Banda now officially belongs to Madonna (DListed)

Kim Cattrall is ready for a SATC rematch sequel! (ImNotObsessed)

Bale’s tale of batshiat batsuit costume claustrophobia (DailyStab)

Rachel Ray, terrorist (HollywoodBackwash)

Dad of the Year KFed loses one of the brood at Disneyland (HollyWire)

Mariah Carey pitches…I always thought she was more of a catcher? (CandyKirby)

Gary Dourdan admits guilt (POTP)

Celebrity tattoo horror show (Defamer)

Not just pretzels: President Bush’s history of substance abuse? (Gawker)

Ashlee (Simpson-)Wentz is sperminated (EvilBeet)

Jessica Biel is still prettier than you (Websters)

Amy Winehouse’s babysitter fired for crack, her lyrics being studied at Cambridge. You know. The usual (UKPopSugar)

Is Kate Hudson dating for revenge? (CeleBitchy)

Paris Hilton has a sad (Lolebrity)

The new cute couple: Johnny Rotten and Britney Spears! (AgentBedhead)

Mars Explorer’s next assignment: Amy Winehouse’s complexion (CelebritySmack)

Colin Farrell suffers acid(wash) overdose (DailyStab)

iPhones? Hamburger phones? Forget it. Pete Wentz has the new hot phone (INFDaily)

Mariah Carey and husband speak eloquently about their love (CandyKirby)

Eva Longoria goes back to her fast-food roots (DListed)

Rachel Bilson should pay some attention to her roots (JustJared)

Shiloh trivia quiz (PopSugar)

Leopard spandex is a privilege, not a right! (CityRag)

Britney is back in the saddle! Or is she the bottom? I forget (ImNotObsessed)

Katie Holmes ditches the old man, flees flies to New York alone (CeleBitchy)

Lindsay Lohan gives Perez the smackdown (EvilBeet)

Who stole Lilo’s boobs? (TheBlemish)

Rooster McConaughey is the Billy Carter to Matthew’s Jimmy (Websters)

Pete Wentz’s stunning new makeover (SeriouslyOMG)

Is Lilo’s lesbo wedding set for Dollywood? (CelebNewsWire)

Is Scarlett Johansson a clone? (Defamer)

SATC premiere madness. You saw the hat: it only gets worse from there (Gawker)

Cameron Diaz goez bawled (Lolebrity)

Gladys Knight’s got a whole new band (Websters)

The Class War: Sheen vs Richards (CandyKirby)

Is Liv Tyler really talking about her marriage? (DailyStab)

Lisa Simpson files for divorce (GabbyBabble)

Amy Winehouse enters Israeli rehab for…opiate addiction? (SeriouslyOMG)

Jennifer Aniston is hungry for John Mayer’s weiner (AgentBedhead)

Katie Holmes is a bully (CeleBitchy)

Kat von D thinks “Some day my prints will come” and there they are, right on her arm (CelebritySmack)

We regret to inform you: Robert Redford is engaged (DListed)

Billy Ray Cyrus is supportive of his daughter after all he put her through(?!?!) (ImNotObsessed)

Meanwhile, Miley’s on MySpace, eating her clothes off (Defamer)

Handbag fetish reaches its apotheosis: Madonna’s castoffs worth more than a kiss from Clooney (ICYDK)

Oprah finds religion in green smoothies (IBBB)

Elizabeth Hurley’s assets do not depreciate with time (JustJared)

Michelle Williams in Cannes (PopSugar)

Nicole Kidman’s due date? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

The Celebrity Bare-Baby-Bump-Belly Club (Defamer)

Madonna steelz frum Liza (Lolebrity)

Kate Moss adjusts her high beams (AgentBedhead)

Former singer Aguilera discusses her greatest assets (GabbyBabble)

Demon-haunted Amy Winehouse needs some exorcise (FemaleFirst)

Naomi Campbell, serial cellphone assaulter, dates up: a con artist (UKPopsugar)

Do they have an alibi for when Harrison Ford’s camera was stolen? (DailyStab)

Shania and the Other Woman (CelebritySmack)

Kim Kardashian, dissected (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The first rule of shopping for TomKat is, you don’t talk about shopping for TomKat…or you get a C&D (CeleBitchy)

Angelina plans to tip the nurses well: $20 million for birthing expenses (Life&Style)

Do you doubt I am rich? (raincoaster)

Keanu romance is a Wino-no (OK)

Newest Teletubbie discovered outside London pub (ImNotObsessed)

Natalie Portman would look good wearing used Kleenex, and here’s the proof (CandyKirby)

Josh Groban is into bears (SeriouslyOMG)

The Return of FedEx! (POTP)

Jennifer Aniston’s wedding pix (IBBB)

Sharon Stone proudly flies the cougar flag (DListed)

Simon Cowell apologizes. Yes, you read that right (BittenAndBound)

That’s hot! Paris Hilton as an Old (EvilBeet)

Britney’s big Vegas comeback possiblymaybe? (ShowbizSpy)

Nick Hogan not enjoying incarceration as much as he thought (Mollygood)

Link Challenge: Animal Magnetism

Victory for Narnia! (BuzzSugar)

Jack Black’s Pandamonium (Lolebrity)

Carrie Underwood executes tricky reverse camel toe with half-revolution (IBBB)

Party animal Paula Abdul celebrates Sober Day (SeriouslyOMG)

Gwyneth Paltrow, Joaquin Phoenix and the Brain-Eating Frogs (CandyKirby)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty and other beautiful, unhousebroken creatures (GabbyBabble)

A lion protects her cubs: a Lohan, on the other hand… (CeleBitchy)

Kitlers vs Uwe Boll (AgentBedhead)

Megan Fox flips for Peter Fox (CelebritySmack)

Guess who’s prehensile claws these are! (Bastardly)

Lindsay Lohan’s minkgate continues (EvilBeet)

Bunnies on the Loose! (DailyStab)

Secretariat in Paris (ImNotObsessed)

John Mayer also horse-like, but not horsey (CelebSlam)

Hello Kitty appointed Japanese ambassador to the world (DListed)

Sexiest Male Vegetarians…could use some meat (Defamer)

Nicole Kidman visibly carrying passenger (Mollygood)

Picasso’s got a lot of dough (Lolebrity)

The problem with Pete Doherty’s crotch (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Lopez does not care about your dying mom (Gawker)

The Fresh Prince of Calabasas goes back to high school (Defamer)

John McCain’s melanoma (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The real-life blade runner wins Olympic appeal (Disembedded)

Nikki Cox’s incredible inflating face (Websters)

Gwyneth Paltrow is tall, gorgeous, and leaking (Jezebel)

Full-frontal fellas (DListed)

Party animals Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse party with animals (SeriouslyOMG)

Brangelina’s kids are pregnant! (CandyKirby)

Denzel Washington gets the House of Wax treatment (ImNotObsessed)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Viggo vs Denzel (TeenyManolo)

Mischa Barton’s specialty underpants (DailyStab)

The Gary Busey trading card! (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Kiefer Sutherland…what was I saying? *swoon* (CityRag)

Paris Hilton in rickrack attack! (CelebritySmack)

NKOTB -> OKOTTV (Mollygood)

raincoaster haz a famus (FamousPeople)

Lance Armstrong picks up Owen Wilson’s sloppy seconds (PerezHilton)

No news today (BBC via BoingBoing)

No real news about Vince Vaughn anyway (DListed)

Top Ten College Commencement Speeches (Gawker)

Jack Black’s Panda Attack! (AgentBedhead)

Shania is single, has no comment (CeleBitchy)

Californians achieve marriage equality (Mollygood)

Britney’s pink wig’s sex tape (Defamer)

Beyonce is Desperate (ImNotObsessed)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty close down the Hell Prom (Lolebrity)

Hard celebrity dicks (Gawker)

Ellen ruins Portia’s surprise (TMZ)

Jessica Alba cannot outstare your disapproving aunt Thelma (YouTube)

Renee Zellweger thinks you can be fooled by myriad accessories (ImNotObsessed)

Posh is a jean Djinnii (PopSugar)

Sugar Tits and Sugar Titter en route to South America: this should end well (DailyStab)

OWEN WILSON COMES TO HIS SENSES (CelebritySmack)

Kiefer kandidz (GabbyBabble)

Vince Vaughn will make his own damn threesomes! (CandyKirby)

Iron Femme (Websters)

Jessica Alba is being motherly (IBBB)

Jack Black’s talkin’ smack ’bout Angelina’s twin pack (POTP)

Celebrate National Dance Like a Chicken Day! (CandyKirby)

Jack Black in Disco Panda-Fu Attack! (Defamer)

Top Ten TV Meltdowns (Gawker)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty star in Dancing With The Has-Beens! (DailyStab)

Britney does Da Bump (IBBB)

Colin Farrell in Mars Attacks! (CelebritySmack)

Comrade Christie Brinkley Leads Dance Dance Revolution (Gabsmash)

Jim Rockford won’t let a minor stroke keep him down! (Bumpshack)

Miley Cyrus will drink your milkshake, fail to shake skanky image (Websters)

Diddy drinks down. Waaaaaaay down (EvilBeet)

The curse of going public: Jodie Foster splits with Cydney (GabbyBabble)

George Clooney settles for scorpion’s sloppy seconds (ImNotObsessed)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty to perform duet of death (CeleBitchy)

Sir Paul McCartney has environmentally-sensitive car flown in from Japan (HuffPo)

Maxim’s minimal-impact hottie list (AgentBedhead)

Angelina’s family goes Goth for Mother’s Day (BlackCelebrityKids)

Jack White, rock god, superhero (AgentBedhead)

Suri Cruise and Brooklyn Beckham sitting in a tree… (Defamer)

Hip Hop outings: not exactly a trip to Radio City Music Hall (Gawker)

Ben- does not blame -nifer any longer (SeriouslyOMG)

Anna Wintour in couture Cthulhu (POTO)

Madonna is a diva? PERISH THE THOUGHT! (DailyStab)

Busted! Slutty prom dress brings arrest from the (fashion) police (CelebritySmack)

Happy Mother’s Day to two of Hollywood’s finest (CandyKirby)

Hayden Panettiere happy to play for the other team (ImNotObsessed)

Wino of the Woods (DListed)

Kiefer cuffed! (JustJared)

Jenna Bush’s wedding photos (CeleBitchy)

Brad Pitt’s new body art (SplashNews)

Retouch My Body: the video! (PerezHilton)

Winehouse walks the streets (Mollygood)

La Toya Jacksanity (SeriouslyOMG)

Nicolette Sheridan exudes fabulousness (Celebslam)

America’s next top freak (IBBB)

Madonna Global Media Domination Tour (JensJuice)

Tom Cruise loses his Packer (AgentBedhead)

Ginger Spice and the Goth Lesbian of Doom (ImNotObsessed)

Britney Spears and Big Sur (DailyStab)

Play the Celebrity Cosmetic Surgery Game! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Daydream Believer in the magic of Davy Jones Karaoke (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse is a commuter’s worst nightmare (CelebritySmack)

Pot/Kettle Pot/Potkettle What I mean to say is Ashlee/Britney (CeleBitchy)

Uma Thurman’s lawyer will butt-rape France (InTouch)

Mariah and Mr Mariah have been inseparable since marrying last week. Uh, thanks for that, PR machine (PopSugar)

Beverly Hills Chihuahua! (DListed)

Indiana Jones and the Fortress of Suckitude? (AgentBedhead)

Cindy Crawford and the Potion of Immortality (IBBB)

Ashley Olsen: “Small world, isn’t it?” Elizabeth Hurley: “Too small for the two of us” (CelebritySmack)

That woman is old enough to be your granddaughter, George Clooney! (DListed)

This is how we say goodbye in Hollywood (Defamer)

Throw me the American Idol pedo, I’ll throw you the whip (GabbyBabble)

Don’t call him Junior! RyRey and ScarJo may breed (DailyStab)

Don’t call Ryan Seacrest Junior either! Although he probably likes it when you do that (CandyKirby)

Hollywood snakes. Why’d it have to be Hollywood snakes? (Mollygood)

Tori Spelling looking rough: It’s not the years, it’s the mileage (ImNotObsessed)

Pubic lice. Why’d it have to be pubic lice? (raincoaster)

Nina Garcia sez: You can’t do this to me! I’m an American! (PerezHilton)

Indiana Jones and the Temple of LaBeoufcake (JustJared)

So once again, law enforcement, what was briefly yours is now ours. Welcome back, Wino (CeleBitchy)

Obama is allowing you to tag along. So why don’t you give your mouth a rest? Okay, doll? (Gawker)

Somebody takes the Link Challenge to a new, post-literary level (CelebritySmack)

The twiglets strike back: celeb on pap violence (Defamer)

Sienna Miller flees the country after Pap Attack (PopSugar)

All hail Zombie Captain America! (AgentBedhead)

Guess the celebrity rack! (Derober)

Marilyn Manson is trying to kill Evan Rachel Wood (ImNotObsessed)

Kylie Minogue spins her web of domination, brings executioners (StyleDash)

Perez Hilton to assault your closet! (OK!)

The Amy Winehouse on Crack Rampage Show airs a new episode (Radar)

Amy Winehouse on Crack Rampage Show moved to new location: lockup (DailyStab)

Pregnant Old Nicole Kidman knifed in back by Amelie actress (CeleBitchy)

Kelly Osbourne attacks an innocent sidewalk and a defenceless wall (DListed)

Grand Theft Auto wipes out the competition (LifeLine)

Pete Doherty will kill him (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindsay Lohan is mean, ugly (PopSugar)

Karl Lagerfeld is a gun-toting seal. Get Kiefer Sutherland to club him already! (GoFugYourself)

Old pinko hippie vegan to give away album, singlehandedly crush recording industry (PerezHilton)