alexa chung is in no sense turned out

She must be studying yoga intensely;, it’s really rare to see anyone as completely “centered” as fashion diva Alexa Chung.

On that note, let’s toast todays perfectly centered gossip links with a perfectly symmetrical Cross-Eyed Skull Cocktail.

Animal Hats of the Rich and Famous (raincoaster)

Oh! Livia! (Ayyyy)

The Things I Do for You People! (ManoloFood)

Darth Vader, social media master of disaster (Lolebrity)

Is this part of an LRon approved diet? (AgentBedhead)

One less candidate for Celebrity Rehab (BusyBeeBlogger)

Playgirl, RPattz, and you already clicked this didn’t you? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

No, Kat, “WeHo” isn’t a descriptor. (CelebritySmack)

Ben Affleck might have a career after all (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Some traumas you never overcome (CityRag)

Kelly Clarkson assumes holding pattern (DailyStab)

Playgirl wants to bag a Silver Fox (EarSucker)

Grizzlies don’t whine! (FitFabCeleb)

Does pigeontoe cause crosseye, Alexa? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

JUSTIN! NOT IN PUBLIC!!! (HaveUHeard)

Rihanna untapped! (HollywoodHiccups)

Stern ‘n Sexy in Rolling Stone (INeedMyFix)

The “ugly bridesmaid dress” effect, with cheerleaders! (MathewGuiver)

Blogger busts Brit-Brit cherry (PoorBritney)

The family that rehabs together… (PopBytes)

Ellen Pompeo’s bizarre nipple situation (TheSkinny)

Wrap it or suck it, Ryan (TheSkinnyChic)

Congrats to the cute couple

Awww, isn’t that cute? The Duchess of Alba and her boytoy Alfonso Díez are making it legal. Living proof, if any were needed, that an aggressive nose job that results in you breathing out of two large pores in the middle of your face is never a wasted expense, if it allows one to attract men known to society paper readers everywhere as “and Unnamed Friend”.

In honour of the lovely couple, let’s toast them with a classic Champagne cocktail fortified with a little Spanish brandy, and read some sexy gossip links:

inside raincoaster (raincoaster)

Ryan Reynolds has a sexy fra…what was I saying? (Ayyyy)

Kate Spade’s sexy movie (ManoloFood)

Fred and George Weasley KNOW they’ve got it (Lolebrity)

Sir Elton has some words for our generation’s biggest a$$ (AgentBedhead)

Chris Isaak’s steamy new video (BusyBeeBlogger)

Tila Tequila’s sex tape means we’ll never be rid of her (CelebDirtyLaundry)

WHAT is Gaga doing to herself in bed? (CelebritySmack)

ScarJo doesn’t let cobwebs grow on her ladybits (CelebVIPLounge)

VD Stars! (CityRag)

OMG Tila Tequila and Jennifer Aniston appear in sketchy video together (DailyStab)

Michelle Trachtenberg loves her body and tells you ALL about it (FitFabCeleb)

They get wet (GirlsTalkinSmack)

J Hud talks about her new body (HaveUHeard)

Anderson Cooper is NOT into beatings! (INeedMyFix)

Britney’s got yogabutt! (PoorBritney)

What’s Lady Gaga’s sex name? (PopBytes)

Forget the body: what has Nicole Richie done to her face? (TheSkinny)

Chuck Berry on line one… (SeriouslyOMG)

Josephine Baker will have none of your excuses

The immortal Josephine Baker thinks if your gossip isn’t juicy, it could at least be better-dressed (see Vanessa Hudgens link below).

A New Year’s prayer from Jeff Buckley (raincoaster)

Dear 2010, kiss my ass (Lolebrity)

The Cure for 2010 (Ayyyy)

Strangely, nothing to do with Milton Berle (Manolofood)

Ashton Kutcher, bringer of the apocalypse (AgentBedhead)

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, or so we hope (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ugly Sweaters: so 2010. The Look of Today? Ugly Leggings (CeleBitchy)

Shania Twain knows whose bed his boots have been under (CelebritySmack)

But there’s still time, Michelle! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Bikini Fails of 2010 (CityRag)

Paula Abdul is sotally tober! (DailyStab)

If he were as hot as Russell Brand, he wouldn’t be forced into rehab (Earsucker)

Dear Ex, u got servd, sincerely Lady Gaga (FitFabCeleb)

Lisa Rinna SANS FARDS (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Justin Bieber went slumming for New Year’s (GossipTeen)

Valerie Bertinelli knows how to rock a second wedding dress (HaveUHeard)

Lindsay, the FIRST step is admitting you have a problem (INeedMyFix)

Vanessa Hudgens can’t figure out which end of her pants needs hitching (JustJared)

Kathy Griffin is going to f—– Palin up this year (PerezHilton)

BritBrit to do GQ (PoorBritney)

Bitchy Brits vs Stateside Celebs (PopBytes)

John Stamos cast in Twilight??? (SeriouslyOMG)

You will never look this good in a bikini (TheSkinny)

At last we learn the backstory to the shot herd ’round the world. Oh Snoop, we’ve all been there.

Claire Danes knows how to work a trenchcoat (Lolebrity)

Celebrities! They’re not like us! They can walk in these shoes! (CelebToast)

The best 404 message online (AgentBedhead)

Om Nom Nom WHA???? (AllieIsWired)

Brittany Murphy, Casey Johnson, Basic Health Rules laid to rest (AmyGrindhouse)

Demon in sheep’s clothing (BWE)

Anne Hathaway flips the bird (BricksAndStones)

Alexis for Alexis! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ooh La Little Girl Lingerie? (LaughingStork)

Kate, I think you dropped something (HolyMoly)

Sandra Bullock will cut a bitch (LitelySalted)

Forget Mischa Barton, try Carole Channing! (LaineyGossip)

Kristen Stewart in court for prostitution (TMZ)

Ralph Lauren snubs in public! (CelebrityMound)

Ellen for President? (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Tom Brady’s 2-month-old can run??? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Oooh, ACDC MUST DIE!!!! (CeleBitchy)

Jay-Qui? (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Possibly the most terrifying headline I’ve ever read (CelebritySmack)

Kanye survives horrifying ordeal (CelebSlam)

Bublé‘s bongo bowl (CityRag)

Dennis Quaid’s farmer’s tan (CrazyDaysAndNights)

The Real BabyMamas of Atlanta (Crunk+Disorderly)

Brangelina lives! (DailyStab)

Paris has gone to the dogs (DanasDirt)

Nicknames of the literati (Gawker)

The return of PuppyBowl (DListed)

Betty White is terrifying (EvilBeet)

Small Wonder it was cancelled (FourFour)

Janet Jackson is a Janet Jackson impersonator (GabbyBabble)

Best Dressed/Worst Dressed at the Grammys (GoFugYourself)

Snooki’s makeover (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Qween no longer on Scene (INeedMyFix)

How Hugh Jackman rolls (HaveUHeard)

World’s most expensive benchwarmers (HollywoodBackwash)

Flack pointedly does NOT deny Paris Hilton is dumb (HollywoodRag)

Sniff Beyonce for $50 (HollywoodTuna)

KFat achieves self-awareness (ImNotObsessed)

Leif Garrett busted NOT A FLASHBACK TO 1975 (Janet CharltonsHollywood)

Virgins versus Texting! (JustJared)

PETA vs Avatar (Movieline)

Jessica Biel definitely not Jewish (FitCeleb)

Frances Bean taking singing lessons (PerezHilton)

Stock Anderson Cooper Adorable Story (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Russell Brand shoots, scores (UKPopSugar)

Jamaican Bobsled Team not so cool (WizBangPop)

Orlando Bloom is all wet (PopBytes)

Kelly Clarkson in flamewar (RadarOnline)

Re-Enchanted (SeriouslyOMG)

Tila says the butler didn’t do it (ASocialiteLife)

Conan O’Brien’s Valentine to Britney (SquareEyes)

Saffy, darling, are you slumming in this movie? (TenGossip)

John Mayer needs to take off the Wayfarers (TheBosh)

Mischa Barton wins Best Supporting Hose (TheSkinny)

WiNo-No strikes again? (AmyGrindhouse)

Is someone trying to kill Robert Downey Jr? (SeriouslyOMG)

What does Kate Moss have to do to get arrested in this town? (AgentBedhead)

When Pink finds out, Brandon Davis is gonna need protective custody (CeleBitchy)

William Balfour arrested for Hudson family murders (SocialiteLife)

David Spade needs a good lawyer (Celebslam)

The criminal truth of Tina Fey’s scar (CelebWarship)

Lindsay Lohan = Eddie Gein? (AllieIsWired)

American Express hates America (CelebuWreck)

Immortals team up for concert (CelebritySmack)

Criminal panty lines, Beyonce! (POTP)

Someone wants Simon Cowell bad enough to break the law (GabbyBabble)

Michael Phelps has mastered the George Clooney m. o. (DailyStab)

Lindsay Lohan has a Facebook impersonator: Lindsay Lohan? (EvilBeet)

Liveblogging Fake Karl by Dead Yves (FakeKarl)

False advertising! (CandyKirby)

Fun with Spam (IBBB)

Shia finally makes his Mom happy, becomes a lawyer (JustJared)

Giant douche can’t even manage to shoot himself in the foot (Mollygood)

Some criminal hairdos at the BAFTAs (UKPopsugar)

Save Canada! (OMG)

Marc Jacobs, necrophiliac? (Towleroad)

Your shirtless unicorn chaser (Defamer)

Jennifer Aniston attempts to make up for lost time? (GabbyBabble)

Remember, Remember the 5th of November (GuidoFawkes)

Biggest casting against type since Darryl Hannah played an astrophysicist in Roxanne (AgentBedhead)

Not Gut! Steve Guttenberg is a flasher (CelebritySmack)

The fats of life: Janet Jackson’s diet book cancelled (HolyMoly)

Blaaaaaaaake, Incarcerated…in rehab (DailyStab)

Fun with celebrity holograms! (BestWeekEver)

Hologram-O-rama (Defamer)

RIP Michael Crichton (MomLogic)

Marilyn Manson is single again, girls! (DListed)

Matthew McConaughey is singlehandedly bringing trailer trash back (CeleBitchy)

Paris Hilton would overdress for the opening of an envelope (CelebWarship)

The world is ending, but the afterparty has begun! (IBBB)

Ashlee Simpson is Chuck Barry’s dream girl? (CandyKirby)

Anna Wintour birthday fanfic (GoFugYourself)

Prince Harry, charity hottie (UKPopSugar)

What did Vegas do to deserve this? (Websters)

Ryan Seacrest takes his best shot (SeriouslyOMG)

Air Sex CSI? (CandyKirby)

The secret shame of Michael Phelps (DListed)

Phoebie Price wins one! (CeleBitchy)

Shanna Moakler speaks out about the plane crash (CelebritySmack)

Meet the LizardMan! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The award for best pop video of all time goes to… (DailyStab)

Richest Congressmen (Jossip)

Does Simon Cowell make you randy, baby? (ImNotObsessed)

Top five Emmy quotes (PopSugar)

Gwyneth Paltrow cooks all her own food, employs macrobiotic chef presumably just to keep him off welfare (JustJared)

Josh Groban: laughingstock or genius? (Defamer)

Anderson Cooper’s secret drag show cabaret shame (Gawker)

ZOMG Perez Hilton has a ghostwriter??? (EvilBeet)

The Jamie Lynn Spears porn investigation is NOT what you think (CelebrityBabyScoop)

VOTE CLORIS!!!!! (SeriouslyOMG)

Jeremy Piven bites the hand that feeds (GabbyBabble)

The David Beckham Beefcake Calendar for 2009! (PopBytes)

Truth (and methane) in advertising (AgentBedhead)

The Grey Fox vs La Vida Lohan (ItsCandyTV)

Jackie Chan can chop my sockey anytime (CelebrityDirt)

80′s celebrity flashbacks! (CelebritySmack)

Britney Spears Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill rumours killt (DailyStab)

Katie Holmes gets the hottest men in uniform (CandyKirby)

First glimpses of Nicole Kidman’s lumpy baby blanket (SeriouslyOMG)

Kate Hudson photoshopped to the point of vampirism (AllieIsWired)

Vastly pregnant Gwen Stefani visits the hospital (PopSugar)

Lohan and Ronson get matching “white trash eternity rings” (CeleBitchy)

Trixie Belden and the Case of the Mormon Sex Slave Dog Cloner (Dlisted)

Megan Fox brings her quiet dignity to playing a porny Mother Theresa (Defamer)

New Jersey celebrates its famous crabs (BestWeekEver)

Lisa Suedrow (ICYDK)

Petra Nemcova does her Eddie Munster impression (Yeeeeah)

Heidi Fleiss, failed madam, successful reality show star (WOWReport)

A-Rod behaving like a free agent (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Is this a musical which I see before me,
The Beckhams the subject? Come, David, let me clutch thee;
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still. (SeriouslyOMG)

Jake Gyllenhaal is a swordsman (ASL)

The pregnant woman/man gives birth (LilSugar)

England hates America: REVOLT! (Radar)

Jay-Z keeps slaves? (PerezHilton)

Chris Martin: a boob saved by boobies (Mollygood)

Anderson Cooper is in the Advocate and he doesn’t care who knows it (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Jack Black stole his mom’s stash (ImNotObsessed)

Chace Crawford hearts the cougars (JustJared)

What not to wear…LIVE! (GoFugYourself)

Relive the Rave! (FourFour)

Christie Brinkley will soon be free of that creep (DListed)

Lindsay Lohan beats the odds, makes it to 22 (Defamer)

Matt Damon no longer sexiest man alive (DailyStab)

Coming soon: a mysterious poisoning in Afghanistan (Crunk&Disorderly)

Shockingly, Katie Holmes fails to sell more than a million dollars in tickets (AgentBedhead)

So now we know that Anderson Cooper has a type – big-nosed, googly-eyed, falsetto-voiced, petite redheads who have a great way with children.  I bet there was a whole lot of tickling happening in the back of the limo on the way home that night.