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Angelina Opens Wide

Oh dear. Looks like SOMEBODY bought the wrong size tampon!

Who Wore It Better: Celine Dion vs Angelina Jolie

One of these things is not like the other

One of these things is not like the other

Celine demonstrates the authentic, little-known Quebecois-Canadian Tuxedo technique, here incorrectly applied to an American Tuxedo. Vote below:

And now, let’s have a dashing Tuxedo Cocktail and a few stiff gossip links:

Paul Rudd, birthday boy (raincoaster)

Lindsay Lohan’s staple food (ManoloFood)

Carrie Fisher captures your captions! (Ayyyy)

Angelina not so Jolie (Lolebrity)

Beastie Boys have got to fight! for the right! to remake material from 20 years ago (AgentBedhead)

John Legend is my imaginary boyfriend even if he does love Adele and golf (BusyBeeBlogger)

Kate and William are bringing my invite in person (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Nicki Minaj is trying to muscle in on Carrie’s caption game (CelebritySmack)

Mandy Moore, the extreme closeup is NOT your friend (CelebVIPLounge)

Oregon: Greatest state or GREATEST STATE? (CityRag)

Keanu Reeves has big plans for your sex life (DailyStab)

Hugh Hefner takes a load off my mind (EarSucker)

Nicky Hilton appears to be chilly (FitFabCeleb)

Solange Knowles in: Who Invited HER? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Pia J’adore (HaveUHeard)

Helen’s Magical Bosom (HollywoodHiccups)

Katherine Heigl is about to piss off the Knitting Lobby (INeedMyFix)

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at who he gives it to (MathewGuiver)

Adele vs Britney (PoorBritney)

The Bride of Wildenstein lives! (PopBytes)

Hottest Male Athletes for your aesthetic appreciation (SwoonWorthy)

Kate Moss uses her mouth for something (TheSkinny)

Justin Bieber, keepin’ it teal (TheSkinnyChic)

Hump Day Hunk Links: Leonard Nimoy, Birthday Boy!

It's true, everyone loves a bad boy in a leather jacket

It's true, everyone loves a bad boy in a leather jacket

Happy 80th Birthday to Leonard Freaking Nimoy! You’ll always be a week and a day younger than William Shatner!

Now I think I’ll carefully sip a thimbleful of Romulan Ale in his honour.

Gramps Gets Down! (raincoaster)

This is why the pinkos never win (Lolebrity)

The Eternal Question: Mugler edition (Ayyyy)

Sophia Loren tries out a new look (ManoloFood)

That’s my dating life sorted then! (AgentBedhead)

Blind Item Egoist! Let me guess: Prince Philip? (BusyBeeBlogger)

It’s a dog’s life. Meanwhile, I stay in Motel 6 (CelebDirtyLaundry)

It’s Tween vs Tween! (CelebritySmack)

Angelina to step into Dame Elizabeth’s sandals (CelebVIPLounge)

Sean Penn gets made over (CityRag)

Khloe Kardashian Kovers Kosmopolitan (DailyStab)

Reese Witherspoon calls RPattz a dirty, dirty boy (EarSucker)

Lilo doesn’t look a day over 40 (FitFabCeleb)

James Franco: we get the public intellectuals we deserve (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Preppy label amputates model’s arm! (HaveUHeard)

Britney, Jackass, the jokes write themselves (HollywoodHiccups)

Do YOU have what it takes to be a Torontonian? (INeedMyFix)

Kingston Rossdale is a playa! (MathewGuiver)

Enrique can’t out-diva Britney (PoorBritney)

Thar’s gold in them thar hills alive with the sound of music (PopEater)

Judge Judy’s oral issue (Radar)

Now HERE Is some decorative royalty! (SwoonWorthy)

Tom and Katie have a time machine, apparently (TheSkinnyChic)

So Liv Tyler and Jimmy Fallon get in a time machine… (SeriouslyOMG)

 

Angelina Jolie, Womb Raider

The trailer for her latest film looks awfully frightening.

Depp! Jolie! Chemistry!

Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp, Standing Next To Each Other

The on-screen chemistry, it is sizzling.

Manolo says, one of these two is at the wrong party.

Student Exchange: Hogwarts Heartthrobs

That’s a very respectable showing from Tom Felton, once again stealing the show from his arch-rival, Daniel “Nice Guy” Radcliffe. But does anyone else think he’s been watching a bit too much early Keanu Reeves? Booyah, Dude-Man! Let’s order a pitcher of Bud Light (and pour it into the window planter when nobody is looking) to toast these new speakers of American: The Freedom Language.

Old McDonald had a problem… (raincoaster)
Draco Malfoy cleans up good (Ayyyy)
The Andy Warhol New York City Diet (ManoloFood)
Joan Crawford’s dating tips (Lolebrity)
Il fait suffrir pour etre belle (ManoloBeauty)
Spoons are a girl’s best friend? (CraftyManolo)
A clever bale-out for the recession (GreenManolo)
When Dina Lohan has to tell you how to behave, you KNOW you’re in trouble (AgentBedhead)
Kellan Lutz has Madonna arms! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Even St. Angelina can’t save Bosnia (CeleBitchy)
Tony Danza heckles a priest at a funeral (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Canuckistan corners teh sex-ay (DailyStab)
Chupa schtupped (DListed)
Beyonce is bad! (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Eva Longoria Foursome (HaveUHeard)
You don’t have to be crazy to hate Bristol Palin (INeedMyFix)
Harry Potter finds his dead parents alive! (SeriouslyOMG)

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Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

In this handout photo provided by MTV, actors Sacha Baron Cohen, Jennifer Aniston and John Cusack participate in the Hope For Haiti Now: A Global Benefit For Earthquake Relief telethon on January 22, 2010 in Los Angeles. UPI/Jeff Kravitz/HO

Sacha Baron Cohen, Jennifer Aniston and John Cusack enjoy a quiet Saturday night together, crank-calling Angelina Jolie. What do you think fueled this phone frenzy? I’d guess a few Wild Turkeys (like Jen’s last five movies).

Paul Newman has enemies (raincoaster)
Hogwarts uniforms get a fashionista makeover (Ayyyy)
Gaga is a MONSTER! (Lolebrity)
Liam Neeson elbows drunk anti-semite aside for part (CelebrityBeehive)
See Taylor. See Taylor’s Momsens (AgentBedhead)
If I were marrying that man, I’d hide my face too (BusyBeeBlogger)
Jon’s Hamm is free range (CeleBitchy)
Marion Cotillard should have bought a matched set (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
Rod Stewart is a new parent (sorta) (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Celebrity pumpkinheads (CelebritySmack)
Dear Raccoon McPantsless (CojoStyle)
Canada’s most perennial export shows her assets. Again. (DailyStab)
Kim Kardashian doesn’t eat anyway (earsucker)
Your cokepants are safe! (EvilBeet)
Is there anyone this famewhore won’t date? (GabbyBabble)
Lady Gaga wearing half a My Little Pony (HaveUHeard)
This woman has the world’s most powerful cellphone (INeedMyFix)
This is the World’s Greatest Chick Flick (PerezHilton)
Britneyland is another country (PoorBritney)
Paris Hilton is dating up (PopBytes)

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True Blood Nekkid Links

Get the look? Do I wanna?

Does this blood make me look fat?

If I’m going to Get The Look, I’m sure as HELL not wearing it sober! This calls for a Naked Martini, otherwise known as three ounces of gin and an olive. In fact, it calls for three or four of them.

Seriously, it looks like The Manson Family Goes to Burning Man.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail:
I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

Eat, Brains, Love (Lolebrity)
Marilyn Monroe was crafty! (raincoaster)
Less of a teaser and more of a threat, I’d say (AgentBedhead)
Christina Ricci can dial a phone without using her hands (AmyGrindhouse)
This is why they call them Twits (AnythingHollywood)
Matthew McConaughey in see-through top (BusyBeeBlogger)
There are two good reasons ScarJo lost this role (CeleBitchy)
Happy Birthday Sea- DON’T HIT ME!!! DON’T HIT ME!!! (CelebrityFashionWatcher)
This might make me like Justin Bieber (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)
First Christopher Hitchens, now Michael Douglas (CelebritySmack)
Nicole Kidman’s architect is Fisher-Price (CityRag)
Jesus is a Bieber impersonator (CojoStyle)
Up With Juggalos! (DailyStab)
Holy crap, that Mel Gibson doesn’t mess around (GabbyBabble)
The blonde leading the blonde (GoFugYourself)
Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in White Hunter, Black Swan (HaveUHeard)
How long is this woman going to have to dress like this before the pregnancy rumours start, people? (INeedMyFix)
True Blood: Get the look! (Whatevs)
What a hoser, eh? (JustJared)
This blog is unapologetically pro-tux. Dapper formal wear for all! (PerezHilton)
Levi Johnson has a clean Slate (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
Now it’s Britney who’s Drrrrrty (PoorBritney)
Celebrity alma maters (UKPopSugar)
The Brady Bunch get summer jobs; this is not a repeat from 1972 (SeriouslyOMG)

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