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Angelina Jolie | Ayyyy! - Part 15
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Staying ahead of the game

Hi, guess what I picked up from the mall

Now I know why Angelina Jolie is so keen to keep adding to her brood.  The others are catching up fast, and soon she may have to compete with her peers for the same pool of adoptee talent. 

But for now, she still has the edge, so if someone like Mary-Louise Parker came up to her and said “Hi Angie, do you notice anything different about me?”, she can casually reply “Why yes Mary Louise what you have there is very cute but that last time I looked you aren’t Mia Farrow so I see your African tot and raise you one orphan formerly known as Pham Quang Sang and and one French private schooled Maddox. And if you want to start comparing biological children, I’ve got an ace called Shiloh hiding somewhere up my sleeve. So what’s it gonna be?”

It’s a full house, baby!

Linktastic

ScarJo is a total diva (DailyStab)

Paris is a lederhosen monkey (Agent Bedhead)

Prince is still the King of Fashion (Celebrity Smack!)

Jessica Simpson trashes the dress, drunk (I’m Not Obsessed)

America’s Next Hot Pornstar press conference (HolyCandy)

Saint Bob Geldof is Satan (CeleBitchy)

Rose McGowan knows Jennifer Grey’s pain (A Socialite’s Life)

Angie’s brood is a handful (Hollywood Offender)

Dan Rather’s lawsuit’s horoscope (Jossip)

Eartha Kitt’s still got it, still uses it effectively (Stereohyped)

Miss South Carolina Lauren Caitlin Upton and Donald Trump, together again for the first time (WorldNetDaily)

Courtney Love tore the dress off Kate Moss? (Hollywood Backwash)

Mary-Louise Parker’s new baby (EvilBeet)

Beyonce is back to black (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Happy Birthday Sophia Loren: older and hotter than us! (Mollygood)

Lynx

Smells like Courtney Love? (Agent Bedhead)

Kathy Griffin is engaged, about to be richer than God (Celebitchy)

Jennifer Aniston…still getting work in movies (CelebritySmack)

Jennifer Garner’s six pack (CelebSlam)

Rock and Roll Facelift Roundup (CityRag)

Debra Messing is bringing the muu-muu back (DailyStab)

Vanessa and Zac: splitsville? (Derek Hail)

Angie is Nicole’s guardian angel (Dlisted)

speaking of which, Angie’s only slept with four men (Glosslip)

Justine Bateman works the Holly Hobbie look (GoFugYourself)

Oscar de la Hoya in fishnets? (HollywoodRag)

Lee Greenwood needs the green, not red, white and blue
(Hollywood Offender)

Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull spoilers
(JoBlo)

Prince Freddie von Mr. Zsa Zsa speaks out (TMZ)

Yes, OJ is free. Lock up your blondes (Defamer)

Who wore it better: Amy Wino vs Edward Scissorhands (HolyCandy)

Britney’s partying again. Big shocker, eh? (I’m Not Obsessed!)

Dita covers up nicely (Mollygood)

Alicia Silverstone gets nekkid for Peta (FitSugar)

Brangelina Loves the Babies!

Manolo says, the People magazine reports that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Miller Thorton Sorta-Pitt (nee Voight) are not done having and/or acquiring the babies!

Brad Pitt says he and Angelina Jolie going to need a bigger bed – for their expanding brood.

“We’re not done,” Pitt, 43, quipped, acknowledging public interest in the family’s growth. “They say, ‘Any plans for a fifth?’ And I say, ‘And a sixth, and a seventh, and an eighth, and a ninth.’ That’s my answer.”

“We also made a 9-foot-wide bed” that fits him, Jolie, 32, and all four children, Pitt who is starring in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, told the Associated Press. “Just big enough. One more and we’ll have to go to 11 feet.”

The Jolie-Pitt clan already consists of four kids, all born in Asia or Africa: Maddox, 6, Pax, 3, Zahara, 2, and Shiloh, 1. And, while one parent works in front of the camera, the other takes time off to look after them.

“We just take turns and make sure we keep the family together,” Pitt said, adding in an interview with USA Today, “It’s impossible for us. We’re run out of every major city. There’s just too many paparazzi. There’s always cameras in the kids’ faces, yelling their names.”

And the sixth, and the seventh, and the eighth….were does it stop?

The Manolo does not know. Perhaps we should ask their apparent role models, the Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar of Springdale Arkansas.

Actually, if one has the resources, and the love to spare, and can be the good parent, why not have as many children as possible?

Link-O-Rama

Sandra Bullock and Jesse James are puck bunnies (Daily Stab)

Britney: fired, barred, ejected, dangerous, subpoena’d, custodyless, and still stuck with Federline (Agent Bedhead)

Sugababes vs James Blunt, pot vs kettle (Celebrity Smack)

Mary-Louise Parker adopts a baby (We Love Celebs)

Sally Field’s bleep is the quote o’ the day (GabbyBabble)

Barry Manilow vs Elizabeth Hasselbeck (Gone Hollywood)

David Beckham joins the Men in Black (Holy Candy)

Lindsay Lohan’s street style (Cityrag)

Keira Knightly is HUUUUUUGE! (I’m Not Obsessed)

Tori Amos serenades Britney Spears (LA Rag Mag)

Angelina Jolie trips out at Disneyland (Pop on the Pop)

Chloe Sevigny’s rehab-themed photoshoot for Harper’s Bazaar (Hollywood Backwash)

Paula Abdul and her metrosexual man (HolyMoly)

Jennifer Garner is the superfantastic! (Popsugar)

Ozzie and Sharon’s new crib (WizbangPop)

Shia Le Buff (WOW Report)

O.J. has a girlfriend? (Glossip)

Sharon Stone does Dior (Players, Haters, and Imitators)

Chris Crocker-themed Myspace graphics (MyMyspace)

Linkgasm

Angelina pregnant again? (I’m Not Obsessed)

Drew Barrymore, Gay Pirate (Agent Bedhead)

The Butterscotch Stallion returns! (Mollygood)

JLo: the lost Spice Girl (Daily Stab)

Jodie Foster will kick your ass (Pajiba)

OJ arrested! Oh noes! (Celebrity Smack)

Celebrity Sports, the Photoshop Challenge (Worth 1000)

Britney is losing custody? (PerezHilton)

Posh vs the Jolly Green Giant: who wore it best? (Holy Candy)

Drunkblogging the Emmys (Defamer)

Gwen Stefani’s suing Forever 21 (A Socialite’s Life)

Kate Beckinsale’s new lips get an outing (Girls Talkin’ Smack)

Heidi Montag’s 21st birthday (Bricks and Stones)

Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood in Fun City (Hollywood Backwash)

OJ’s Ghostwriters: If I ReWrote It (MediaBistro)

RuPaul in Zombie Prom! (WOW Report)

Courtney Love: lip surgery or herpes? (Celebrity Cosmetic Surgery)

Oh Angie.

S.C.H.A.D.E..N.F.R.E.U.D.E!

I will make no qualms about it, I have a serious love on for Angelina Jolie. In fact I still have the same ID badge I got five years ago because someone in a drunken stupor once told me I looked a little like Angie and were even kind enough to omit the obvious “if you squint your eyes, turn off the lights and drink 18 bottles of airplane scotch” part.

That being said, and loving her though I do, I’m still not entirely sure that murdering poor Shrek, feasting on his bloody CGI carcass and then turning his flesh into an unflattering poncho the exact color of my grandmother’s Volvo station wagon was, strictly speaking, the most appropriate thing to do.

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