Ayyyy!

Shia LaBeouf and Karen Allen: cannes i hav dis danse? (Lolebrity)

Anyone can become President: even Tom Cruise! (AgentBedhead)

Angelina Jolie mistakes own vagina for clown car (DailyStab)

Putting the “ass” in “class:” Sharon Osbourne to teach Charm School (CelebritySmack)

Class and self-confidence by Ann Landers (Famous People)

Nice day for a white wedding, Jessica Alba (People)

Cameron sez sex is the best! (ImNotObsessed)

Headline of the Day! (CandyKirby)

Live a stress-free life with Heather Mills! (CeleBitchy)

Jessica Alba’s shotgun wedding (PerezHilton)

Who Dat? (Mollygood)

Eric Dane is the new Jude Law (JustJared)

The Pivert Babemobile (Defamer)

Emily Gould, a person of whom you’ve never heard, overshares (Gawker)

Picasso’s got a lot of dough (Lolebrity)

The problem with Pete Doherty’s crotch (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Lopez does not care about your dying mom (Gawker)

The Fresh Prince of Calabasas goes back to high school (Defamer)

John McCain’s melanoma (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The real-life blade runner wins Olympic appeal (Disembedded)

Nikki Cox’s incredible inflating face (Websters)

Gwyneth Paltrow is tall, gorgeous, and leaking (Jezebel)

Full-frontal fellas (DListed)

Party animals Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse party with animals (SeriouslyOMG)

Brangelina’s kids are pregnant! (CandyKirby)

Denzel Washington gets the House of Wax treatment (ImNotObsessed)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Viggo vs Denzel (TeenyManolo)

Mischa Barton’s specialty underpants (DailyStab)

The Gary Busey trading card! (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Kiefer Sutherland…what was I saying? *swoon* (CityRag)

Paris Hilton in rickrack attack! (CelebritySmack)

NKOTB -> OKOTTV (Mollygood)

raincoaster haz a famus (FamousPeople)

Lance Armstrong picks up Owen Wilson’s sloppy seconds (PerezHilton)

Dude, haven’t you spilt the beans enough about Angelina Jolie’s pregnancy? I really don’t think the whole world needs to know the details of how she’s going to lose her post-baby weight, not just yet anyway.

Jack Black’s talkin’ smack ’bout Angelina’s twin pack (POTP)

Celebrate National Dance Like a Chicken Day! (CandyKirby)

Jack Black in Disco Panda-Fu Attack! (Defamer)

Top Ten TV Meltdowns (Gawker)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty star in Dancing With The Has-Beens! (DailyStab)

Britney does Da Bump (IBBB)

Colin Farrell in Mars Attacks! (CelebritySmack)

Comrade Christie Brinkley Leads Dance Dance Revolution (Gabsmash)

Jim Rockford won’t let a minor stroke keep him down! (Bumpshack)

Miley Cyrus will drink your milkshake, fail to shake skanky image (Websters)

Diddy drinks down. Waaaaaaay down (EvilBeet)

The curse of going public: Jodie Foster splits with Cydney (GabbyBabble)

George Clooney settles for scorpion’s sloppy seconds (ImNotObsessed)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty to perform duet of death (CeleBitchy)

Sir Paul McCartney has environmentally-sensitive car flown in from Japan (HuffPo)

Maxim’s minimal-impact hottie list (AgentBedhead)

Angelina’s family goes Goth for Mother’s Day (BlackCelebrityKids)

Jack White, rock god, superhero (AgentBedhead)

Suri Cruise and Brooklyn Beckham sitting in a tree… (Defamer)

Hip Hop outings: not exactly a trip to Radio City Music Hall (Gawker)

Ben- does not blame -nifer any longer (SeriouslyOMG)

Anna Wintour in couture Cthulhu (POTO)

Madonna is a diva? PERISH THE THOUGHT! (DailyStab)

Busted! Slutty prom dress brings arrest from the (fashion) police (CelebritySmack)

Happy Mother’s Day to two of Hollywood’s finest (CandyKirby)

Hayden Panettiere happy to play for the other team (ImNotObsessed)

Wino of the Woods (DListed)

Kiefer cuffed! (JustJared)

Jenna Bush’s wedding photos (CeleBitchy)

Brad Pitt’s new body art (SplashNews)

Retouch My Body: the video! (PerezHilton)

Winehouse walks the streets (Mollygood)

John Mayer commemorates this day with historic haircut (CelebrityDirt)

Christina Aguilera is overcome at the emotional celebration (CandyKirby)

Asbestos is the opiate of the people…the people who go on Scientology cruises (AgentBedhead)

Madonna and Justin Timberlake entertain the masses (DailyStab)

Let them eat brioche, say Angie and Brad (ImNotObsessed)

Brazilian shoemaker poses with accessibly-priced, responsibly-manufactured footwear (DerekHail)

Britney Spears blew $61 million dollars in one year and you earn no interest on your tax refund (CeleBitchy)

Gadfly of the establishment the DC Madam dies under mysterious circumstances (Jezebel)

The Man keeps the People down yet again (DListed)

Comrade Ricky Martin launches human rights hotline (ICYDK)

Performers reenact the effect of Capitalism on the Worker. Also: hawt (CelebSlam)

People Magazine now the official newsletter of Doublethink (Websters)

The Opiate of the People just got the cover of Time (Mollygood)

SATC collective maintains party line (PopSugar)

Rehab a rehab: do I smell a new Vegas-themed commune? (Defamer)

At least someone was on hand to sound the death knell for protest marches: Million DJ March (Gawker)

Control of the means of production means Stella McCartney will keep you in pretty, lucite chains (GabbyBabble)

The overlords stick together even on AI (CelebritySmack)

David Blaine keeps his mouth shut for 17 minutes, 4 seconds longer than I thought he could (CeleBitchy)

Pink Floyd’s pig is an ironic cultural critic (SeriouslyOMG)

Gape at Christina Ricci’s long-lost twin! (CandyKirby)

Gasp at the humongous tips left by Johnny “Has-No-Human-Flaws” Depp (GabbyBabble)

Wipe that frown off your face with Frownies! (IBBB)

Ashley Olsen will show you her tiny gerbil teeth (CelebWarship)

Open wide, here it comes, Miley (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Katie Holmes soon to star in the Camp Gold Base Follies production of “The Day the Clown Cried” (AgentBedhead)

Gosling protests for poultry! (ICYDK)

Dr Teeth not included: Rocker stage name stories (Spinner)

Amy Winehouse has a love bite (PopSugar)

New York’s great eccentrics (Gawker)

The Curse of the Beautiful People! (Defamer)

Miley Cyrus seriously needs to keep her mouth shut (DailyStab)

Angelina wipes that smile off Gwyneth’s face (ImNotObsessed)

Paris Hilton’s boyfriend writes the soundtrack to her next cavity search (CelebritySmack)

The Ozzfather: Survivor Micronesia recap (RealityTV)

Margaret Cho is a tour guide in the Tunnel of Love (AgentBedhead)

Quentin Crisps (FrontierFormerEditor)

Pete Doherty stole Paula Abdul’s gloves (Dlisted)

Anonymous vs Scientology, round n+1: Operation Reconnect (1stepbeond)

Cult Friction, Scientology decoded (RadarOnline)

Jerry Seinfeld flips out (Derober)

Lindsay Lohan loses a zero, finds the role of a lifetime (CelebritySmack)

Justin Timberlake was a little bit country when he was only a little bit, himself (AllieIsWired)

Angelina Jolie before she had Brad and rhinoplasty (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Naomi Campbell behaves Naomi Campbellianly again (CelebWarship)

New pic of JLo’s twins: r not so cute akshuly (TeenyManolo)

Larry Campbell behaves Larry Campbellianly at Little League (Bumpshack)

OK what? Suri Cruise returns to Earth; celebrity mags, not so much (OK)

Anne Hathaway’s boytoy arrested for blowing through others’ cash like it was…blow? (WendyWayrad)

Baby wants her back back: entire Beckham family stuffs their jeans (TheRadReport)

Steve Jobs takes on the Big Apple (Wired)

Celebrity moose knuckle (Cityrag)

Happy birthday, Britney! (CircusHour)

Happy birthday, Jamie-Lynn (CelebrityBabyScoop)

George Clooney’s not-so-secret bromance (Celebitchy)

Claudia Schiffer hits the slopes with Mini-Her (JustJared)

Tomorrow NKOTB on Today! (DailyStab)

The Cruise family triplets (Defamer)

Jennifer Aniston’s Plan C (HollywoodOffender)

Angelina Jolie’s gestational diabetes (CelebrityDirt)

Paris Hilton wins contest she was born to conquer (GabbyBabble)

Drunkblogging The Hills (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Stuff Young Jewish Adults Like (StuffYoungJewishAdultsLike)

Hillary’s hidden heroism! (Gawker.com)

raincoaster, revealed (TheGrassyKnollInstitute)

“There’s no-one bigger than Johnny.” (AgentBedhead)

The ageless and well-lubricated beauty of Priscilla Presley (CircusHour)

Flying penguins discovered (BBC)

Kate Hudson baits her Owen Wilson trap with babies, apartments (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Lara Flynn Boyle’s face: a medical opinion (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jessica Alba is practicing parenting on loaner charity children (Bastardly)

Keith Richards admits to drug use. No, not an April Fool’s story! (TheRadReport)

At least somebody still wants Britney Spears (DailyStab)

Cindy Crawford is immortal (CelebritySmack)

It’s all in the mouseovers, baby! The genesis of the Great Gossip Linkoff here.

Supprtd! (Defamer)

Suckaz! (Valleywag)

Accurst! (Gawker)

Dichotomous! (AgentBedhead)

Saviour! (Celebitchy)

Accident! (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Soap-On-A-Rope! (CelebritySmack)

Faceplant! (DListed)

Pooh! (Cityrag)

Duddy! (TheBlemish)

JagermICEter! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Greek! (ICYDK)

Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhno! (Queerty)

Drive! (Popsugar)

Majestic? (GoFugYourself)

Cloooooooooooney! (CircusHour)

Miserification! (Yeeeeah)

Infected! (Mollygood)

Single! (DailyStab)

Caffeinated! (JustJared)

NKOTB!!!!!!! (ImNotObsessed)

What hath JLo spawned? (Gawker)

Angelina’s big baby figure (Defamer)

Bats are full of protein and great for your hair (TressedOutCelebs)

America’s Next Top Recap (I’mBringingBloggingBack)

Celebrity syntho-schnozzes (Cityrag)

The sliding scale of celebrity integrity (AgentBedhead)

Spitzer’s other hooker (Celebitchy)

One more reason to love Johnny Depp (ImNotObsessed)

Is this Hillary Clinton’s greatest speech ev-ar? (Dlisted)

At LAST! A picture of Nicole Kidman looking bottom-heavy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Beyonce’s little sister launches a hip-hop toy company (BlackCelebrityKids)

But…but…Madonna is not biodegradable! (JustJared)

What Amy Winehouse will look like in a month (CelebrityDirt)

Stick Insect vs the Prince of Darkness (CelebritySmack)

Introducing the Paris Hilton Clodhopper Pony (CircusHour)

Jack Nicholson’s topless photos (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Scariest celebrity faces: a surgeon’s opinion (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jenna Bush O-Face (Webster’s)

20 most expensive celebrity divorces (CustomizedGirl)

Amy Winehouse is not exactly “clean, green power” (Yeeeeah)

Brad Pitt is not black enough! (PopOnThePop)

We have a Scientologist DOWN! Repeat: we have a Scientologist DOWN! (TheBlemish)

Former child star begins the long slide into bankruptcy, boozing, and B&E’s (AgentBedhead)

It’s La Pequeña’s world. We just live in it (Dlisted)

George Clooney keeps a lid on it (JustJared)

JC Chasez does not Chace Crawford (Mollygood)

Gold digger headed straight for the center of the Earth (DailyStab)

Win a date with Barack Obama! (Stereohyped)

Someone needs to tell Demi Moore it’s just a metaphor (ImNotObsessed)

Lucy Liu wants to be a WASP fashionista popsicle zombie (ICYDK)

Top Model walks? (Defamer)

Most historically inaccurate films (YahooMovies)

Robin Williams soon to be EX-Mrs.Doubtfire (ExtraTV)

Artificial Sweetener Valley High (Gawker)

Tom Cruise and John Travolta abducted by aliens! (CircusHour)

At American Idol, every moment is happy hour (GoFugYourself)