Ayyyy!

A star is born: Katie Holmes stars in The Scream (Lolebrity)

What should we name the new Mini-McConaughey? (TeenyManolo)

Hope reborn for Kate and Pete (AgentBedhead)

The newborn reality stars of Big Brother (CelebritySmack)

Pete Doherty robs the cradle, Sting after him with a shotgun (POTP)

Child star rocks the pirate-themed bustier (Websters)

Best boobs new or used? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

BevHills Chihuahua: a revolution is born (EvilBeet)

New parents Halle Berry and Almost-Mister Halle Berry have a night of freedom (DailyStab)

Mark Wahlberg and Rhea Durham shop for baby stuff (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Why Sunday for a baby born Monday? The Kidman-Urban theories (CeleBitchy)

Prince Harry doing children’s charity work in Lesotho (People)

Usher and Baby Usher win the Photoshop Challenge (DListed)

Erykah Badu: baby on board? (Crunk&Disorderly)

Baby clothes make a comeback (GoFugYourself)

Sherri Shepherd saying something dim about kids and moms (GabbyBabble)

The Bindi Irwin doll not as conflicted as those neurotic Barbie&Skipper types (IBBB)

Angelina still hasn’t popped (JustJared)

Ashlee Simpson’s maternity wardrobe an improvement (Mollygood)

Gwyneth Paltrow supports the White Ribbon Alliance for Safe Motherhood (PopSugar)

Amy Winehouse sez da hyer da hair, da clowser too gawd (Lolebrity)

Grey’s Anatomy insider carves up Katherine Heigl (SeriouslyOMG)

Liberace reincarnated! (GabbyBabble)

Agyness Deyn Punk’d (CelebWarship)

Model/Actress/Whatevers climb the greasy pole for Kid Rock (AgentBedhead)

Chevy Chase misplaces bouquet garni de BC (Defamer)

Perez Hilton, the opera (Gawker)

Pete and Ashlee went to the doctor (DailyStab)

Gavin Rossdale turns his back on his musical roots forever. And the ska punks will never speak to him again (ImNotObsessed)

R Kelly not guilty (CelebritySmack)

Who rocked the beaver better? (CandyKirby)

George Clooney’s Italian villa has interesting…manscaping? (TheBastardly)

Sean Connery suffers golfing injury, breaks foot, shatters my James Bond illusions (DListed)

10 reasons not to watch Will Smith’s new movie (Derober)

Perez Hilton, Britney Spears, and KFed are all in Vegas this weekend (PerezHilton)

The Blogosphere dissected (Mollygood)

The Shat chooses rug over beard (CeleBitchy)

Erykah Badu gives Bjork a run for her money (Crunk&Disorderly)

Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds act out the Canada/US relationship (lolebrity)

The Hogans are the Oedipus and Elektra of the B-List (CelebuWreck)

Tom Cruise’s lawyer invokes Godwin’s Law on Dr. Drew (SeriouslyOMG)

Amy Winehouse is dealing crack (CelebrityDirt)

“Tila Tequila is a political power broker” isn’t a metaphor, it’s a stretch (AgentBedhead)

Beyonce is a work of art (CelebritySmack)

Jimmy Buffet is a natural (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Ashlee Simpson is showing (HollywoodBackwash)

Angelina Jolie is a pig! (DailyStab)

Ned Flanders at the beach! (DListed)

Marcia, crossed (ImNotObsessed)

Milk of human kindness curdles after a certain age (CandyKirby)

I know who killed my career (CeleBitchy)

Amy Winehouse is a size queen (NowMagazine)

Brad’s boxes in box-office boxing match (ASL)

Dita von Teese hosts Ebony and Ivory party (UKPopSugar)

So it looks like Simpson the Lesser (I’m totally team Jessica by the way, I like my vapid blonde starlets genuinely vapid. Keep your creme-rinsed facade of kohl-based angst away from me, Ashlee!) and her fiance –that guy with the hair from that band I don’t know anything about– might have figured out how to make babies.

Oh great. You KNOW this is how Planet of the Product-Using Apes starts.

If they discover fire, we’re all going down.