Ayyyy!

Meet Your Master: New Nine Inch Nails single free for download tonight (TheRadReport)

Katie Holmes vs Victoria Beckham: pretty hate machines (Defamer)

Every day, every one, is exactly the same to Karl Lagerfeld (Gawker)

With teeth: Hillary Duff’s veneers (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Why does James Frey get all the love in the literary world? (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend is something Ashley Olsen can never have (CelebritySmack)

That’s what Richie Sambora gets (for driving drunk) (CelebrityDirt)

You know what you are, Paris Hilton? (CelebWarship)

The line begins to blur: Pulp Fiction, by William Shakespeare  (Metaquotes)

Help me, I am in fashion hell (CandyKirby)

Happiness in slavery available to Ashton Kutcher at my house any time! (DailyStab)

Sanctified: yes, Beyonce and Jay-Z are married (ImNotObsessed)

Natalie Portman down in it, not quite down with it (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jessica Simpson’s ringfinger/finger ringer? (IBBB)

Guns ‘n Roses’ terrible (eternal) lie (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Connor Cruise doesn’t bite the hand that feeds (JustJared)

Head has, like, a hole: The Hoff has eye surgery (HolyMoly)

Celebs know you hate them (Gawker)

We’ve lost Will Smith (Defamer)

Conan the Late Night Barbarian (Cityrag)

Kelly Clarkson is a Commando! (DailyStab)

Who’d you rather? Luck of the drunkish game (LiquidGeneration)

50 animals with drinking problems (BestWeekEver)

Heather Mills gets nearly $50 million, makes her daughter fly coach anyway (Celebitchy)

Cindy Crawford’s beach house like a Russian nesting doll (Celebslam)

Full Frontal Friday (NSFW! and Jim Carrey is on there!) (CrazyDaysAndNights)

The end of Abba (GlitteratiGossip)

Divorce is pricey, y’all! (EvilBeet)

Michael Stipe’s closet has a revolving door (Dlisted)

Breaking: Ashton Kutcher is decorative (ImNotObsessed)

Orlando Bloom’s face suitable for scrubbing pans in a diner. Still decorative, though (Popsugar)

Pussycat Doll wears Mom Jeans! (TheGrumpiest)

Nicole Richie is as sick of Paris Hilton as everyone else (CelebritySmack)

Heather Mills is psychostylin’ (GoFugYourself)

Britney Spears in: Mad Max, Beyond Thunderthighs! (Yeeeeah)

Celebrities who look like leprechauns (CircusHour)

Halle Berry had her baby girl (PerezHilton)

What is the most plausible explanation for Ashton Kutcher’s airborne ascent?
(a) he’s rehearsing for his role as a young Mikhail Baryshnikov in the new movie Dude, Where’s My Leotard
(b) he received the gift of levitation from Criss Angel for his recent 30th birthday
(c) prolonged and excessive use of the Master Cleanse Diet has rendered him particularly vulnerable to freak gusts of wind 
(d) Kabbalah, like Red Bull, gives you wings

Rolling Stone drives stake into Britney Spears with unholy hackiography (Defamer)

Britney’s only Goth from the waist down (DailyStab)

Pete Doherty seeks new life as Smackbob Nopants (Gawker)

or maybe the Easter Bunny? (AgentBedhead)

Top 10 reasons to miss Anna Nicole Smith (Jezebel)

Lindsay Lohan goes dark (CelebritySmack)

Amy Winehouse will bring the funk, may bring the crack to the Grammies (TMZ)

We traded the UK Snoop Dogg for Amy (HolyMoly)

Eva Mendez more Disco than Goth, in rehab for coke (LARagMag)

Scott Weiland, Velvet Revolver front man, back in treatment (GenosWorld)

ScarJo and PeCru go pansexual for ex-sexagenarian Woody Allen (Gabsmash)

Goths Celebs of the Day: Demi and Ashton wear all-black to his 30th birthday party (HolyCandy)

Kill me now: Cher and Tom Cruise were lovers? (Dlisted)

Top 5 celebrity Goth chicks (Hi-5)

The Last Supper of Trent Reznor (LolNIN)

Another reason to drink as if you need one (WorkoutMommy)

Mystery man in black (ImNotObsessed)

Brittany Snow joins the Trenchcoat Mafia (DerekHail)

Lost Boy still lost, still blood-sucking (PerezHilton)

Dita von Teese as the Girl Next Door (SkunksBlog)

Kat von D will never tattoo another agent as long as she lives! (Mollygood)

Kirsten “Vampire Chronicles” Dunst vanishes (Celebitchy)

Madonna is immortal. Because plastic can’t die (TheMeatScale)

Sorry, no Angelina Jolie or Avril Lavigne stories today. Haven’t you heard? They’re not Goth.

Johnny Depp still believes in Santa! (AgentBedhead)

Ashton Kutcher IS Santa (raincoaster)

Get into Mel Gibson’s pants, make somebody’s dreams come true (Defamer)

Party with Michael Jackson (CelebSlam)

Tony Parker is suing, not screwing (CelebritySmack)

Kiefer Christmasing in jail (CityRag)

Borat and AliG killed! (DailyStab)

Jamie-Lynn Spears has the Facts of Life going for her! (CelebrityMound)

Jamie-Lynn is afraid of Britney’s temper (IDLYITW)

Shane McGowan, who Pete Doherty wants to be when he grows up (Dlisted)

Why you should have heard of Shane McGowan (YouTube)

Oprah oppressing Obama! (EvilBeet)

Rupert Everett lays the smackdown on Jodie Foster, may need UN protection (GabbyBabble)

Lily Allen, her smokes, her pregnancy, and her new tv show (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Cutest Celebuspawn of 2007 (GoFugYourself)

Zac Efron wigs out (HolyCandy)

Britney Spears flashing figurine (PopOnThePop)

On the Fifth Day of Britmas… (DoodleWhore)

Carleton scores a porn star! All the ladies love a man with smooth moves (CeleBitchy)

The ongoing saga of PerezHilton vs YouTube; advantage: Perez (PerezHilton)

Brangelina on a bike and a trike (INF)

Jen vs Angie onstage! (ImNotObsessed)

Naomi Campbell IS Brenda Starr! (Mollygood)

Amy Winehouse primps. Can’t fault the girl for trying (TheMeatScale)

Scarlett Johannson channels Anna Nicole Smith (Websters)

Britney Spears give her kids toxic playthings of death (WendyWayrad)

Paris Hilton’s new movie has Oscar buzz. I kid! (Yeeeeah)

Konstantin Stanislavsky says, “When an actor is completely absorbed by some profoundly moving objective so that he throws his whole being passionately into its execution, he reaches a state we call inspiration.”

Ginny Weasley aughtta lay the Cruciatus Curse on her stylist (GoFugYourself)

The return of Posh and Becks (DailyStab)

$400,000 for cosmetic work and none leftover to do her roots (SeriouslyOMGWTF?)

Mug Shots of the Rich and Infamous, the Slideshow! (Turtlebutt)

Bernhard Willhelm designs not exactly flying off the shelves (The Guardian)

Johnny Rotten vs Sting: An Oldies Grudge Match! (AgentBedhead)

Howard Stern sues Rita Cosby for $60 million (Defamer)

Britney’s new, unimproved life (CelebritySmack!)

Britney is no Garbo, Chris Crocker (Dlisted)

Britney doesn’t have her kids, but she’ll always have a sex tape rumour (HolyCandy)

Eva Longoria’s Paris Hilton sex tape spoof (I’mNotObsessed)

Good news for Amy Winehouse! Her husband abandoned her (PopOnThePop)

H.O. claiming bloom off George Clooney’s rose (HollywoodOffender)

Lindsay Lohan goes pumpkin-picking with a commando (CelebDirtyLaundry)

AshKutch/DeMoore take in a game (LaineyGossip)