See? See what happens when you try to squeeze in a few household and gardening chores before that obligatory awards show appearance like Sarah Buxton did? The stupid limo will inevitably arrive while you’re in the middle of pulling out those dead biennials and really, who wants to pay for those hefty waiting charges. Happens all the damn time!
It’s not the best quality mermaid costume out there but you won’t see glamour model turned children’s author Katie Price complaining about it. This sort of thing not only has great novelty value but it would also fit comfortably right in at an event like the Billboard Latin Music Awards.
The Cruise family triplets (Defamer)
Jennifer Aniston’s Plan C (HollywoodOffender)
Angelina Jolie’s gestational diabetes (CelebrityDirt)
Paris Hilton wins contest she was born to conquer (GabbyBabble)
Drunkblogging The Hills (ImBringingBloggingBack)
Stuff Young Jewish Adults Like (StuffYoungJewishAdultsLike)
Hillary’s hidden heroism! (Gawker.com)
raincoaster, revealed (TheGrassyKnollInstitute)
“There’s no-one bigger than Johnny.” (AgentBedhead)
The ageless and well-lubricated beauty of Priscilla Presley (CircusHour)
Flying penguins discovered (BBC)
Kate Hudson baits her Owen Wilson trap with babies, apartments (CelebrityBabyScoop)
Lara Flynn Boyle’s face: a medical opinion (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
Jessica Alba is practicing parenting on loaner charity children (Bastardly)
Keith Richards admits to drug use. No, not an April Fool’s story! (TheRadReport)
At least somebody still wants Britney Spears (DailyStab)
Cindy Crawford is immortal (CelebritySmack)
Anonymous vs Gossip Bloggers (Valleywag)
Ten worst nude scenes of all time (Papermag)
Mariah Carey, Kenneth the Page, a Unicorn, and a good deal of lycra (Defamer)
Heath Ledger’s Nick Drake music video (raincoaster)
King Arthur’s been dead a long time: Pete Doherty is UK Hero of the Year (AgentBedhead)
Nicole Richie is Roxie Hart in Chicago! (CelebritySmack)
Hillary Winehouse makeover (PrettyOnTheOutside)
The Beautiful People looking…not so much (SeriouslyOMGWTF)
Prince Harry’s undercover operation is terminated (DListed)
Britney Spears to join the British army (TheSpoof)
The Croc Widow vs the Croc Papa (PerezHilton)
Pink’s Sapphic sideshow KO’d her marriage (Celebitchy)
The Boozehound Awards (Pajiba)
The littlest Scientologists have names now (EvilBeet)
Karl Lagerfeld’s vampire kisses have no effect on bloodless troll (CircusHour)
Kate Beckinsale is a cunning linguist (Websters)
Victoria’s Secret is out (TheBlemish)
RUN, OWEN WILSON! RUUUUUUUN! (Yeeeeah)
Brad Pitt’s monchichi haircut (CelebWarship)
Katoucha Niane’s body found in the Seine (GabbyBabble)
Dear Double D,
I love you. I know you dress like an anthropomorphized clown car, and your wife has committed the worst crimes against Lacroix I’ve ever seen (including a highly questionable pair of gingham shoes that I suspect started their lives as my meemaw’s formal potholders) but you are hot. DIRTY hot. And yeah you’re talented and possibly the only person alive who could have made James Fenimore Cooper interesting and that thing with Emma Thompson was really good too although I don’t remember much because I was in like, sixth grade when I saw it, but still, the important thing is that you –crazy-making brown boots and all– have been mama-smackingly gorgeous for pretty much as long as I’ve been alive and that’s gotta count for something.
Now quick, I have a bag full of shiny beads. Let me throw them at your demented (thought doubtlessly lovely) seagull of a wife and let’s have a quickie.
But first you have to take off your shoes.
The Vampire Lestat will return! (PerezHilton)
Diablo Cody and the Case of the Missing Million Dollar Shoes (Defamer)
Christina Aguilera is down and out and firing everyone in sight (Gawker)
Julie Newmar does NOT go commando (Jezebel)
Vanessa Paradis is Superwoman (AgentBedhead)
Christie Brinkley is terrified of cosmetic surgery (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
The infamous Spaghetti Incident (CelebritySmack)
Daniel Radcliffe’s Halle Berry Oscars moment (Dlisted)
Ruper Grint, meanwhile, picks up Lily Allen (HolyMoly)
Amy Winehouse just needs to know the love of a good lotion (EvilBeet)
Brad Renfro’s memory was not invited to the Oscars (Mollygood)
Bourne is back! (ICYDK)
Cher, or Drag Cher? (Cityrag)
Jennifer Aniston puts her eggs on ice? (ASocialitesLife)
KFed’s time is money: your money (Jossip)
Anderson Cooper blogs on the Lawrence King hate crime (JustJared)
Whoopie Goldberg’s Oscar snub (Celebitchy)
Prince is old. DAMN. (Bossip)
Joan Van Ark not technically dead, but Professor Van Helsing is on standby (Gabsmash)
Gary Busey explains himself (TheBlemish)
Madonna is free! (DailyStab)
Round three hundred and eighty-two goes to Jen (CircusHour)
A shopping guide for Oscar party jewel thieves (ImNotObsessed)
Somebody’s fucking Josh Brolin (Websters)
Marion Cotillard wears Cthulhu Couture to the Oscars (GoFugYourself)
And when the last award has been handed out and all the winners, losers and other glammed up players exchange a collective sigh of relief, it is time for the after-parties to begin in earnest. Or as we at Ayyyy! like to call it, that time of the night when the rejected Oscar frocks to come out and play.
Liveblogging the Oscars (Defamer)
Jimmy Kimmel is fucking Ben Affleck (Gawker)
Britney taken away by the men in white coats (TMZ)
Christina Aguilera has baby rage (Hollyscoop)
Eli Roth is a bedhead beyond belief (AgentBedhead)
Lindsay Lohan had too many double waters on the rocks (CelebritySmack)
Katie Holmes was delusional as a child (ImNotObsessed)
Directions to the Playboy Mansion (Derober)
Lessons from the Oscars (CircusHour)
Enough with the Oscars: who won the Razzies? (HolyMoly)
Worst idea for a musical ev-ar (SeriouslyOMGWTF)
Gary Busey’s attempted red carpet rape of Jennifer Garner thwarted by Ryan “Macho” Seacrest (ASocialitesLife)
Pot calls kettle black (PerezHilton)
Diablo Cody won’t wear your stupid million dollar shoes! (Mollygood)
The Jolie-Pitt baby bump debuted to massive acclaim (Websters)
Falling Slowly for the song of the year (EvilBeet)
Kimora Lee Simmons’ death by a thousand quotes (Celebitchy)
Ben Affleck is so macho (Dlisted)
Hugh Jackman is uh is uh what was I saying? (Popsugar)
In the leadup to the big night this Sunday, let’s do a little test to see how well you know your Oscar trivia. Pictured below are four talented faces but only one of them has not yet won an Academy Award. Can you tell which one?
The Brangelina Wedding rumours: a timeline (Defamer)
But how is Jen taking it? (JustJared)
The Britney Spears wedding rumours (CelebritySmack)
Britney’s secret childhood, not-so-secret deflowering (Jezebel)
Robbie Williams won’t be checking into the Paris Hilton (AgentBedhead)
OJ Simpson’s girlfriend severely beaten: OJ to search for “the real beaters” (Celebitchy)
Max Liron Bratman gets his first magazine cover; his mother gets her first understated makeover (CelebrityBabySmack)
Courtney Love steals Christina Aguilera’s makeup, Frances Bean Cobain steals Courtney Love’s (HolyCandy)
And Rihanna was all, like, you di’int, and Jay-Z was all, like, oh yeah I DID and...(Bossip)
Uma Thurman is smoke-free, ready for spermination (ICYDK)
Win a date with Death (and Ted Nugent)! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)
Win a divorce for Valentine’s Day! (POTP)
British elegance: Lily Allen fists herself on her new tv show (Dlisted)
Dakota Fanning will not pull a Britney for art (EvilBeet)
Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal’s son arrested for DUI and drugs (BackseatCuddler)
Amy Winehouse tells a tale of two Blakes (CelebWarship)
Isla Fisher has definitely, maybe lost the baby weight (DailyStab)
Wendy seeks Peter Pan on the red carpet (GoFugYourself)
Katherine Heigl plays dress-up with medical personnel (ImNotObsessed)
Janice Dickenson gets a new face: Kimora Lee Simmons’! (PerezHilton)
Courney Cox has fallen and she can’t get up under the weight of those extensions (Websters)
Who wore it better, the Division Championships (SecondCityStyle)
It was a delicate procedure, but we have managed to fuse the heads back with their bodies to bring you the answers to Monday’s Puzzle corner:
1. Debbie Gibson
2. L’il Kim
3. Nelly Furtado
4. Sheryl Crow
5. Teri Hatcher
6. Anthony Kiedis
7. Toni Braxton
8. Linda Ronstadt
Congratulations blaugrau for an incredible 7 out of 8! We can only shake our heads in wonder at your music awards show aptitude. Thanks for playing, everyone!
Celebrity pickup lines (Agentbedhead)
Reasons to hate American Idol (ImBringingBloggingBack)
Rickrolling the Church of Scientology (Gawker)
Britney Spears is the Pied Piper of North Hollywood (CeleBitchy)
Colour me shocked: Paris Hilton neglects her pussy (Dlisted)
Colin Farrell will be best man at his brother’s gay wedding (Gabsmash)
Violet Affleck pats the bunny (CelebrityBabyScoop)
Lenny Kravitz in the hospital (CelebritySmack)
Fergie may have a pea in the pod (HollywoodBackwash)
Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman will eat your soul (DailyStab)
Nelly Furtado loses at the Grammys (GoFugYourself)
Dita von Teese dates down. Like, Backstreet Boy down (EvilBeet)
Barron Hilton runs down a gas station attendant, gets DUI’ed (Defamer)
Night of the Creeps: Kanye at the Grammys (fourfour)
John Mayer not checking into the Paris Hilton (HolyCandy)
Amy Winehouse goes from soundstage to lockup (ImNotObsessed)
Angelina loses an Oscar (Mollygood)
Emma Watson picks up Kirsten Dunst’s sloppy seconds (JustJared)
Gary Coleman is off the market, ladies (PerezHilton)
