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The Golden Gifs

Did I watch the Golden Globes? Are you kidding, that’s what recappers are for! But I did do a roundup of the best Golden Globes themed GIFs (hard G, y’all) and pick out the biggest loser, fashion-wise, so you’re welcome.

If, like me, you missed the whole thing, watch this video that recaps it in ninety seconds flat. Like me.

Let’s start with respected theatre and motion picture actress Emma Thompson seen here demonstrating her classical RADA training in how to make an unforgettable entrance.

Also making a memorable entrance was Elisabeth Moss on the ManiCam (the ManiCam is a thing? Jesus, take the wheel).

Elisabeth Moss and the ManiCam

Elisabeth Moss and the ManiCam

The evening’s theme was “Negging,” flawlessly demonstrated here by my boy Bono.

Bono No Go

Bono No Go

Everybody’s least favorite heiress (after Paris Hilton) jumped on the negging trend; it will no doubt form the centerpiece of an episode of Girls in the near future.

Leah Don't Play That Way

Leah Don’t Play That Way

Other celebs to leap aboard the negging juggernaut included:

Tommy Lee Jones

Protip: he's really not into you

Protip: he’s really not into you

and the normally-sunny Julia Louis Dreyfuss

JLewDry and ReeWi

JLewDry and ReeWi

as well as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, the hosts.

Emma Watson knows it's coming

Emma Watson knows it’s coming

It's Mean Girls Live!

It’s Mean Girls Live!

was it good for you too, Emma Watson?

was it good for you too, Emma Watson?

Satisfying. In fact, negging on Taylor was a sub-plot all night. That spirit is embodied here in Everyone’s New Favorite Spunky Blonde, Jennifer Lawrence.

Jlaw vs TaySwi

Jlaw vs TaySwi

Negging on JLaw’s couture Dior dress was a Thing as well, although it was not a GIF. Still, amusing and accurate.

We don't Love it and yes I know that's badminton not tennis. Shut up.

We don’t Love it and yes I know that’s badminton not tennis. Shut up.

The World’s Most Perfect Person negged her own shoes, and they were Louboutins, and went on to neg the entire process of awards-presentation, but of course she did it flawlessly!

Emma

Emma


Emma  is Telling You Things

Emma is Telling You Things


Emma  has her priorities straight

Emma has her priorities straight


Emma wants a refill

Emma wants a refill

And it all ended happily ever after.

Amy and Bono sitting in a tree

Amy and Bono sitting in a tree

Unless your name is Ali Hewson, of course.

Oh no, Sheryl Crow

Oh no, Sheryl Crow

Oh no, Sheryl Crow

Apparently recovering pop-rocker Sheryl Crow made an appearance over the weekend at the Academy of Country Music awards, modeling an ensemble from the Lingerie department of Sears, Roebuck circa 1974. The bustier says “lifts and separates, tucks and squeezes,” while the flowing pants say, “and then there’s Maude.” And the stylist says, “Hey, I had an alibi!”

Nicole Kidman’s SAG Secret

Nicole Kidman is a square. Or at least a rectangle.

Nicole Kidman is a square. Or at least a rectangle.

You see it, don’t you?

Frankenstein was Fabulous

Frankenstein was Fabulous

A hairstyle that unfortunate is clearly simply trying to cover up a shocking secret. She’s long been rumoured to be more than a simple, natural beauty. The question is, just how much is nature and how much is technology? Only her hairdresser (and her hardware store) know for sure.

 

Open Wide

Angelina Opens Wide

Angelina Opens Wide

Oh dear. Looks like SOMEBODY bought the wrong size tampon!

The Great Grammy Roundup of 2012

Well, it was a great Grammys, wasn’t it? Whether you were into Epic FAIL or Epic Win, it was one of the most entertaining live broadcasts of the past year at the very least.

LLVERYCOOLJ

LLVERYCOOLJ

To start with: LLCoolJ. Just yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!

Whew!

Mini Minaj at the 54th Annual Grammy Awards

Mini Minaj at the 54th Annual Grammy Awards

Also: Mini Minajes = adorbz. Sophia Grace and Rosie are the two little girls who rose to fame (and Ellen appearance) by being adorable and performing a Nicki Minaj song for their proud parents, who posted it on YouTube, where it went viral. Believe me, WAY more entertaining than “Roman,” and I ain’t even Catholic!

Anne Get Your Gonch

Anne Get Your Gonch

Anne Vyalitsyna is apparently a Victoria’s Secret model. Let me tell you, Victoria couldn’t have any secrets in that dress. She looks like she rushed out of the ladies’ room with half her skirt tucked into her tampon.

Fergie is straight laced

Fergie is straight laced

Fergie’s own husband tweeted, “I see London, I see France…” On the other hand, yay for bringing Granny Pants back. No doubt a contract from Playtex is en route.

Kelly Osbourne attributes her makeover to a bat-free diet

Kelly Osbourne attributes her makeover to a bat-free diet

Surprise success of the night: the formerly-revolting Kelly Osbourne. How classic! The hair even coordinates with the tats!

And now: ADELE.

First of all, although I can’t find any still photos of it, I loved her second dress of the night, the one in the video. The Armani in which she started the evening was pretty enough, but frankly looked like a plain old vintage piece in that sparkly polyester everybody’s Nana used to wear to parties where she wanted to feel sexy at sixty. This is one of the downfalls of black; the details become invisible. The second, cocktail-length dress, was pretty, old-fashioned, with just the right amount of detailing highlighted by cream underlay, and the fact that the big silver metal zipper in the back (which was inexpertly sewn) was visible every time she turned around was, frankly, completely endearing.

Win! All the! GRAMMYS! ADELE!

Win! All the! GRAMMYS! ADELE!

Also, I MUST have this lipstick, if not the entire look. Internet, can you help me?

Of course you can. Presenting: Adele at the Grammys: the makeup tutorial!

 

Gaultier Weeps

Good Tuesday to you, my friends, good Tuesday. This is Glinda, current author of both Manolo Beauty and Teeny Manolo.

My lovely colleague raincoaster has been temporarily sidelined.  So I am stepping in to fill some very large, albeit gin-soaked, shoes.  Unfortunately, I lack raincoaster’s Assange/alcohol/Viggo obsessions, but hopefully she will be back sooner rather than later.

Today I present alleged singer Porcelain Black, fresh from the BET awards.

Hon, you know you’ve got problems when a 3 year old rocks the cone bra better than you do.

Mubarak Chic!

 

Yes, you CAN judge a book by its cover

Mubarak Chic: yes, you can judge a book by its cover

Truly has it been said that fascists generally have the best uniforms. When it comes to fallen dictators, however, the same is not true. Look at Hosni Mubarak here, former president of Egypt and current homeless dude. Never mind the cut of his jib, we can tell he’s earned those stripes. It may look like a regular old pinstripe suit, but if God is in the details I’d have to say this qualifies as blasphemy, because those stripes are actually made up of his name, printed over and over. Of such gaudy heights of self-aggrandizement may the average Mafiosi only dream.

Speaking of gaudy pinstripes, let’s drown our sartorial sorrows with a classic Bronx Cocktail and a few buttoned-down gossip links, shall we?

Baby on Board (raincoaster)

Nicole Kidman could use a sammich (Lolebrity)

London Fashion Week is for the birds (Ayyyy)

I scream! (ManoloFood)

He should fit right in with Lindsay and Gadaffi (AgentBedhead)

Charlie Sheen too busy winning to retain custody of his kids (BusyBeeBlogger)

Justin Bieber sells out to rich witch doctor? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

A simple summit with Lady Gaga (CelebritySmack)

Robert Pattinson cheats on Tai (CelebVIPLounge)

Babies: totally Team Coco (CityRag)

Katie “Sue” Holmes (DailyStab)

Kim Kardashian, Saviour of Autotune (Earsucker)

Save Oprah! (FitFabCeleb)

Another sign Russia is in desperate straights (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Oh man, the ski lobby hates celebrities (HaveUHeard)

ScarJo publicly toejobs Sean Penn (INeedMyFix)

Oh Em Jee, the Oscars are about to get awesome (MathewGuiver)

Britney’s V shots (PoorBritney)

Sad Mugshot Xtina is sad (PopBytes)

Amanda Seyfried’s magically transforming Doc Martens (TheSkinny)

Five Angels, only two backsides among them (TheSkinnyChic)

 

 

Monday Stoner Links

James Franco is stoned to the gills

James Franco is stoned to the gills

Sure, he was just a little sleepy. And probably a lot peckish.

Baby on Board (raincoaster)

Josh and the RealDoll (Ayyyy)

Nick Denton responds to Gawker critics (Lolebrity)

Sunday Food Porn: Bagels and tomatoes (ManoloFood)

Yay for sammiches! And boobs! (AgentBedhead)

RIP Jane Fucking Russell (BusyBeeBlogger)

Jake vs Taylor (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Natalie Portman is a hippie fashionista mom (CelebritySmack)

Even Celebs say It Gets Better (CelebrityVIPLounge)

SANS FARDS!!! (CityRag)

Sheen drama! (DailyStab)

Gaga was born this way (Earsucker)

Dancing with the Has-Beens lineup (FitFabCeleb)

Two and a Half Men to upgrade to Three Men? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

NPH and JR are on the move (HaveUHeard)

Corey vs the Oscars (INeedMyFix)

Kathy Griffin is Madame de Pompadour (MatthewGuiver)

Gaga vs Britney (PoorBritney)

Homespun country star Gwyneth Paltrow at the Vanity Fair Oscar party (TheSkinny)

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