Ayyyy!

Liveblogging the Oscars (Defamer)

Jimmy Kimmel is fucking Ben Affleck (Gawker)

Britney taken away by the men in white coats (TMZ)

Christina Aguilera has baby rage (Hollyscoop)

Eli Roth is a bedhead beyond belief (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan had too many double waters on the rocks (CelebritySmack)

Katie Holmes was delusional as a child (ImNotObsessed)

Directions to the Playboy Mansion (Derober)

Lessons from the Oscars (CircusHour)

Enough with the Oscars: who won the Razzies? (HolyMoly)

Worst idea for a musical ev-ar (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Gary Busey’s attempted red carpet rape of Jennifer Garner thwarted by Ryan “Macho” Seacrest (ASocialitesLife)

Pot calls kettle black (PerezHilton)

Diablo Cody won’t wear your stupid million dollar shoes! (Mollygood)

The Jolie-Pitt baby bump debuted to massive acclaim (Websters)

Falling Slowly for the song of the year (EvilBeet)

Kimora Lee Simmons’ death by a thousand quotes (Celebitchy)

Ben Affleck is so macho (Dlisted)

Hugh Jackman is uh is uh what was I saying? (Popsugar)

In the leadup to the big night this Sunday, let’s do a little test to see how well you know your Oscar trivia.  Pictured below are four talented faces but only one of them has not yet won an Academy Award. Can you tell which one?

The Brangelina Wedding rumours: a timeline (Defamer)

But how is Jen taking it? (JustJared)

The Britney Spears wedding rumours (CelebritySmack)

Britney’s secret childhood, not-so-secret deflowering (Jezebel)

Robbie Williams won’t be checking into the Paris Hilton (AgentBedhead)

OJ Simpson’s girlfriend severely beaten: OJ to search for “the real beaters” (Celebitchy)

Max Liron Bratman gets his first magazine cover; his mother gets her first understated makeover (CelebrityBabySmack)

Courtney Love steals Christina Aguilera’s makeup, Frances Bean Cobain steals Courtney Love’s (HolyCandy)

And Rihanna was all, like, you di’int, and Jay-Z was all, like, oh yeah I DID and...(Bossip)

Uma Thurman is smoke-free, ready for spermination (ICYDK)

Win a date with Death (and Ted Nugent)! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Win a divorce for Valentine’s Day! (POTP)

British elegance: Lily Allen fists herself on her new tv show (Dlisted)

Dakota Fanning will not pull a Britney for art (EvilBeet)

Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal’s son arrested for DUI and drugs (BackseatCuddler)

Amy Winehouse tells a tale of two Blakes (CelebWarship)

Isla Fisher has definitely, maybe lost the baby weight (DailyStab)

Wendy seeks Peter Pan on the red carpet (GoFugYourself)

Katherine Heigl plays dress-up with medical personnel (ImNotObsessed)

Janice Dickenson gets a new face: Kimora Lee Simmons’! (PerezHilton)

Courney Cox has fallen and she can’t get up under the weight of those extensions (Websters)

Who wore it better, the Division Championships (SecondCityStyle)

It was a delicate procedure, but we have managed to fuse the heads back with their bodies to bring you the answers to Monday’s Puzzle corner:
1. Debbie Gibson
2. L’il Kim
3. Nelly Furtado
4. Sheryl Crow
5. Teri Hatcher
6. Anthony Kiedis
7. Toni Braxton
8. Linda Ronstadt

Congratulations blaugrau for an incredible 7 out of 8!  We can only shake our heads in wonder at your music awards show aptitude.  Thanks for playing, everyone!

Celebrity pickup lines (Agentbedhead)

Reasons to hate American Idol (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Rickrolling the Church of Scientology (Gawker)

Britney Spears is the Pied Piper of North Hollywood (CeleBitchy)

Colour me shocked: Paris Hilton neglects her pussy (Dlisted)

Colin Farrell will be best man at his brother’s gay wedding (Gabsmash)

Violet Affleck pats the bunny (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Lenny Kravitz in the hospital (CelebritySmack)

Fergie may have a pea in the pod (HollywoodBackwash)

Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman will eat your soul (DailyStab)

Nelly Furtado loses at the Grammys (GoFugYourself)

Dita von Teese dates down. Like, Backstreet Boy down (EvilBeet)

Barron Hilton runs down a gas station attendant, gets DUI’ed (Defamer)

Night of the Creeps: Kanye at the Grammys (fourfour)

John Mayer not checking into the Paris Hilton (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse goes from soundstage to lockup (ImNotObsessed)

Angelina loses an Oscar (Mollygood)

Emma Watson picks up Kirsten Dunst’s sloppy seconds (JustJared)

Gary Coleman is off the market, ladies (PerezHilton)

Have you ever looked at a word so long that it just doesn’t even look like a word anymore? I’ve just spent the past five minutes looking at the word “doily” and trying to figure out if it really is even a word. Doily, seriously, look at it. Doi Ly. There should be a Hong Kong Cinema actor named Doi Ly. See? I’m mesmerized. ALSO mesmerizing is this fishnet-cum-bordello-curtain smörgåsbord of crocheted crappery that is trying to murder beloved songstress Chaka Kahn.

First of all, damn. What on EARTH is happening here? It’s like that creepy wine dress put on a little Smokey and decided to make the ballgown with two backs with the cardigan my Aunt Nobby made me the second time she went to Betty Ford.

Prayers for Britney: a Social Movement (PrayersForBritney)

I’m stuck in rehab with Pat O’Brien (StuckInRehabWithPatO’Brien)

Paris Hilton hires the handicapped: colorblind Oompa-Loompa thanks her (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse, British-mawed no more (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity Rap Sheet (LiquidGeneration)

Failed murderess still taking shots at the victim 16 years later (CelebritySmack)

Rihanna in post-Grammy, pre-Afterparty car crash (Dlisted)

Princes William and Harry to bike across Africa (CelebrityRightpundit)

Frances Bean Cobain is pretty, not her parents (Celebwarship)

More than we really wanted to know about Heather Mills’s erogenous zones (Mollygood)

Gwyneth sez: Brooklyn is the new Malawi (Popsugar)

Sienna Miller got her driver’s license, needs new photo to go with her new face (ICYDK)

Owen Wilson needs another intervention to get him off Kate Hudson (CeleBitchy)

Nicholas Cage sues Peggy Sue! (DailyStab)

Katherine Heigl gets a mom-makeover (EvilBeet)

Charlotte Church is a Jedi Mistress (HolyMoly)

The Knowles sisters keep it real. Real bitchy (GoFugYourself)

Johnny Depp’s kids go to Disneyland (JustJared)

Playdate for Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie? (ImNotObsessed)

Engineering secrets of the rich and famous, starring Aretha Franklin (HolyCandy)

New Line stiffs the estate of JRR Tolkien (PerezHilton)

Jennifer Aniston is 39. But how does Angelina feel about that? (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Trent Reznor now twice as pretty (raincoaster)

Cher on her financial situation:

“Oh, I always think I’m going to be a bag lady,” she said. “When Sonny and I were really famous in the beginning, I remember going out and buying two electric frying pans. He said, ‘What are you doing with that?’ I went, ‘Well I’m just saving one in the box in case.’”

Well it seems that day may have finally arrived, and I hope you picked up some extra bin liners during your nightly forage just in case somebody decides to trip or stand all over your easily perforated train.

What a timely reminder this is!  This one’s for all the folks who still haven’t put away their trees and taken down their decorations.  See how plain silly these colours look in middle of awards season? Go on, hop to it - I don’t want to be seeing any of this nonsense until next December! And that goes for you too, Bai Ling!

Updated: This is supposed to be a croupier’s table (wrapped around his rake)? Sadly there can be no winners here, no matter what they say about the house’s odds.

This week, let’s take a stroll through the annals of Grammy history and contemplate the more questionable fashion choices of past attendees. Your task is to figure out who would do such a thing to themselves. Answers to be put up on Wednesday morning.

Britney busts loose, boots bodyguard (PerezHilton)

Kirstie Alley’s body thetans get the better of her (Websters)

Heath Ledger had ingested the entire alphabet, but it was all legal (Yeeeeah)

Delta Burke is an institution! Also in an institution (Celebitchy)

Mary-Kate Olsen is a purse hoarding hobbit (ImNotObsessed)

Sienna Miller is pretty, useless (AgentBedhead)

Adrien Grenier is veg-friendly (TheMeatScale)

Kirsten Dunst also institutionalized, not an institution (DailyStab)

Jordana Brewster is going to be a star someday… (Defamer)

Christina Aguilera doesn’t NEED your oxygen! (fourfour)

What happens in Miss Nevada stays in Miss Nevada, at least until she showers (Dlisted)

Brittany Murphy is 65, but her lips are only 3 months old (GoFugYourself)

Scientology is one big, dysfunctional family (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse may swap rehab for prison (CelebParasite)

Flight of the (Steven) Seagal (HolyMoly)

Tabloid roundup: the week in oversexed hobbits (Mollygood)

Who wants to look like a celebrity? Everyone, apparently (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld slaver over the juicy, tender souls of the innocent (CelebritiesEating)

Wacko Jacko will crash the Grammys (CelebritySmack)

Republicans and nerds put the “trade” in sex trade (Jezebel)

Tom Cruise is subdued at the Saggies (AgentBedhead)

Tom Cruise’s Wehrmacht ID (FrontierEditor)

John Travolta checks out the competition (Defamer)

Did you know: Without Scientology, you’re dead! (Mollygood)

Teh LOLcats h8 Scientology (raincoaster)

Amy Winehouse’s widower-to-be can hardly wait! (CelebritySmack)

Worst-dressed at the SAGGIES (Yeeeeah)

Pete Doherty loves teh kittehs (Dlisted)

Justin Timberlake is bringing the Ewok back (DerekHail)

Beckham’s boyzilian (Towelroad)

Perennially Possibly Pregnant Angie rocks the muumuu (TheBlemish)

Certifiably Insane Bjork rocks the Marushka Doll in Vegas look (BestWeekEver)

Debra Messing rocks like an Egyptian (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jamie-Lynn Spears is hard-partying, baby-making (CelebWarship)

Kiefer! Kiefer! Kiefer! Donald! Donald! Donald! (Celebitchy)

Paris Hilton goes to a lesbian club, leaves with Brittney Gastineau (EvilBeet)

Kate Beckinsale’s pussy was on fire (HolyCandy)

Hayden Panettiere saves the whales! (ImNotObsessed)

Mischa Barton brings a Yeti back from Sundance (DailyStab)

New Kids On The starting Block? Or Not? (PerezHilton)

Your gossip blog unicorn chaser: St. George the Divine (GoFugYourself)