Christina Aguilera's back

And we’ve got her. WAYYY too much of her for that outfit, in fact. But the clear support strap is intriguing: is this what they used to give Mariah a six pack? Looks like a clear plastic cheese wire, and we should all be grateful that Xtina’s leathery hide retained surface tension enough to fight it off.

Jennifer Lopez shines

Ladies and gentlemen, there are Hammer pants. And then there are JackHammer pants. These ones are giving me a headache.

Phoebie Price

Not since the Creature from the Black Lagoon has the seashore shuddered at such a sight. Scientists are not sure what the creature is, exactly, although they have established that it is primarily composed of inorganic materials. And they’re pretty sure it had a bit part in Something About Mary.

Katy Perry lives the moment

To be specific, that one moment from a 1986 Swatch ad when this outfit was considered totally tubular.

Salma Hayek PJs

Ayyyy! Somebody alert the Manolo! Looks like Salma Hayek has got herself a job as a blogger!

Angelina Opens Wide

Oh dear. Looks like SOMEBODY bought the wrong size tampon!

Oh, Stella, this is not your best work. We’re going to do it to you in the captions, and we’re going to do it to you hard.

Stella McCartney

We’re back! Just in time to announce our winner of last week’s Caption Contest. Congratulations to all our entries, who kept it clean, kept it funny, and kept it WAY more polite than I would have.

SAMMICH, girl. Dayum! Your elbow shouldn't be the widest part of your arm

skahammer
February 12, 2012 at 2:15 am

Responding to IMF demands, the Romanian government’s belt-tightening measures sadly went too far.

Congratulations and imaginary swag to Skahammer! For our winner of indeterminate gender and undetermined circumference, we hypothetically present the entirely virtual swag of the actually real but in this case imago-swaginary New Yorker belt with solid silver fittings, from Vogt Silvesmiths. Talk about a money belt!