beyonce beyond

We all have those pictures from high school that we hoped had been buried forever. And we find them posted to Facebook when our “friends” get into the prosecco. I’m sorry, Beyonce, we can no more let you live this down than we can these two. Acid wash isn’t for jeans; it’s for our eyeballs after we get a load of this outfit. Also, is that a wig from the House of Lisa Kudrow on your head?

Vanessa Paradis up close and extremely personal

igirl99
January 28, 2012 at 9:58 pm
And now, Tales From the Crypt, sponsored by Chanel…

Congratulations and imaginary swag to igirl99, who I believe is a first-time winner. What else? A Sterling Silver Trowel!

And now, lest we forget, a small reminder of what used to be, back when she was admitting to being the same age as me.

On that note, let me present to you what has been described as “the funniest skit in tv history,” Mrs Brown’s Bikini Wax from RTÉ Television in Ireland.

Looks like a dead badger on flypaper.

Adrien Brody is Blue

Adrien, I don’t know what the new look is doing for you, but it’s certainly coloured my perception of you. Still not getting you a gig on Avatar II: Avatarded.

Spike is sad he missed out on that part in Bridget Jones's Diary

Natalie Anne Lanoville
November 26, 2011 at 10:18 pm
Shut down at the Buffy Christmas Party, Spike regrets the consulting fee he paid Derek Zoolander.

That’s two wins now for Natalie! And what has Santa Spike got in his sack for her this time? What could be better than a collection of Mark Roberts ’12 Days of Christmas’ Fairies?

Courtney Love's left boob makes a break for it

Someone aught to tell poor Courtney that the casting call for the Red Queen is long over. Also that the woman sleeping with the director had it locked up from the beginning. Also, that if you’ve lost so much weight your implants are getting smaller, you need to eat a sammich.

Also, don’t be so shelfish.

Not that anyone who had to look at this could be described as “winning” really, but…

REEEJ

Pooooooor Coco
November 19, 2011 at 1:07 pm
“Well, the Emperor really highly recommended this tailor, and I do enjoy the silky fineness of my new shirt; but… but… does this tie *really* go with my moobs?”

Congrats and imaginary swag to first-time winner and first-time entrant Pooooooor Coco. What shall we present our proud winner?

The emperor/empress worthy purple designer toga

Pick a toga

Speaking of which, they have failed me at the sight of the below. Hopefully you are stronger, and can leave your captions in the comments.

Oh Reej.