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LiLo fails to lie low

Lindsay LAX

Lindsay is LAX but luxe

Lindsay Lohan has it going on. She knows that when appearing before a judge to argue yet again that you shouldn’t go to jail yet again for breaching your bail conditions yet again, one needs to look one’s very best. She’s shown here making a much-needed appointment with her waxer.

Nicole Kidman’s SAG Secret

Nicole Kidman is a square. Or at least a rectangle.

Nicole Kidman is a square. Or at least a rectangle.

You see it, don’t you?

Frankenstein was Fabulous

Frankenstein was Fabulous

A hairstyle that unfortunate is clearly simply trying to cover up a shocking secret. She’s long been rumoured to be more than a simple, natural beauty. The question is, just how much is nature and how much is technology? Only her hairdresser (and her hardware store) know for sure.

 

Jean Harlow, Thunder Thighs

Jean Harlow

Jean Harlow

Classic fashions are legendary for simple, flattering lines. Jean Harlow and we are happy to disabuse you all of this silly notion.

Prince H

Prince Heidi Ho

Prince Heidi Ho

HRH Prince Harry of Great Britain. Harry, short for Heidi, apparently. Dare we hope Heidi Ho?

All in the Family

Gosling on Gosling

Gosling on Gosling

Even when she’s borrowing her son’s girlfriend’s clothes to accompany him on the red carpet, Ryan Gosling’s mother Donna never lets him forget where he came from.

PS I had surgery once, and as I slowly came out of the anaesthetic I said to my mother, who was wearing a belt in that exact shade of yellow-brown, “Where did you ever find a belt to match those diarrhoea coloured pants you have?” She later told me, “That’s when I knew you were gonna be okay. You were yourself again.”

Bloodlines

Chloe Calling

Chloe Calling

It’s always nice to see a celebrity who keeps in touch with her parents.

This is hipster

This is hipster

This is dog

This is dog

Gold Member

Gold Member Datta Phuge

Gold Member Datta Phuge

Ladies, feast your eyes on this, the apotheosis of men’s wear. Of Man’s man’s wear.

This breathtakingly tasteless spectacle is Indian money lender Datta Phuge’s original design. Atop a base of white imported velvet (not that it matters, but who the hell imports silk velvet to India? From where? As if India ran out of silkworms!) the short-sleeved shirt is woven with solid gold threads, at a cost of about $22,000, and adorned with Swarovski crystal buttons. Really? Am I the only one thinking that overpriced rhinestones  on a solid gold shirt is just a freaking cop-out? Gimme some beryls, some lapis lazuli, at least some peridot!

Now, setting aside the obvious fact that the shirt is just gawdawful, let us examine the stated goals of the shirt:

  1. to attract women
  2. to advertise Phuge’s money lending business.

There’s no question that the shirt will succeed in achieving the first of these, although once he gets to know them he’ll probably conclude he’d rather draw flies. It doesn’t take too many avaricious good time girls to go through an entire stack of gold shirts at a nightclub.

As for the second, it is really the men’s casuals version of the Hummer I used to see driving around Vancouver, plastered with bumperstickers for SavingYouMoney.com.

Miley Cyrus’s Strange Attraction

Miley Cyrus Beyond Thunderdome

Miley Cyrus Beyond Thunderdome

Something told her it had been a mistake to pair this outfit with the trendy new magnetic nail polish.

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