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Who’s That Girl? Marcia, Marcia, Marcia edition

was it Marcia or Marsha? THESE ARE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

was it Marcia or Marsha? THESE ARE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

Truth be told, in the early 70’s EVERYONE looked like that, or wanted to. I can still feel the scratchy polyester poorboy sweater (shudders). Click over the jump to see who this toothy kid turned into. And if you put a caption in for the Caption Contest, be patient for one more day. We’re still fishing them out of the Spam filter while recovering from the flu, so it could be a day or so before we give Clay Aiken his due.

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Kim Kardashian gets things backwards

Karashian baby belly

Karashian baby belly

Trust a Kardashian to get the most basic things wrong. You don’t pump gas in $500 open-toed heels, and you don’t carry the baby in your ass.

Did someone say “Boo Boo?”

Honey Boo Boo Chile

Honey Boo Boo Chile

“SERIOUS INJURIES ONLY” that must be one hell of a Boo Boo! The outfit itself looks like a Bob Mackie-designed menstrual pad from the Whore of Babylon’s laundry bin.

Friday Caption Contest Results: Suri Stare Edition

We’re catching up on choosing the winners in our Caption Contests, having come to the realization you’re too smart to work for nothing, even if the something you’re awarded is completely imaginary! so…We’re starting with Suri and her hypnotic stare. Don’t forget to enter our current caption contest.

Suri Googleyes
Suri Googleyes

Desideria April 30, 2012 at 6:41 pm

“Mommy, in today’s auditing session, I finally achieved a State of Clear.”

Congratulations and imaginary swag to first-time winner Desideria. And now, to the illustrious hypothetical presentation of the swag of virtuality. To our Scientology-savvy winner, we present the Suri-worthy Fossil Kathleen Cat Eye sunglasses.

Fossil Kathleen Cat Eye

Gaultier Weeps

Good Tuesday to you, my friends, good Tuesday. This is Glinda, current author of both Manolo Beauty and Teeny Manolo.

My lovely colleague raincoaster has been temporarily sidelined.  So I am stepping in to fill some very large, albeit gin-soaked, shoes.  Unfortunately, I lack raincoaster’s Assange/alcohol/Viggo obsessions, but hopefully she will be back sooner rather than later.

Today I present alleged singer Porcelain Black, fresh from the BET awards.

Hon, you know you’ve got problems when a 3 year old rocks the cone bra better than you do.

State of Emergency declared in Malibu

That $cientology diuretic diet sure works!

That $cientology diuretic diet sure works!

“Oh MOM! I told you to go before we left home!”

In related news, Katie is actually wearing three inch heels. On the beach. As for the blazer with cutoffs, the “Goldman Sachs/Tara Reid” look has never worked for anyone.

Let’s have a round of Pee-Pee Cocktails (yes, this is a real thing, and not half bad) and some celebrity gossip links.

Alec Baldwin busts his cherry! Twitter virginity: it’s happened to all of us! (raincoaster)

How many Britney fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No, seriously, how many? Take off your socks if you have to… (Ayyyy)

Sunday Food Porn! Sushi Sunday! Not bad, for a legally blind photographer. (Manolofood)

Conan O’Brien’s Coyote Morning. OMG she’s so totally under age! (Lolebrity)

Chicken Soup for the Young Witch. Which really should include the advice to read better books, you’d think. (AgentBedhead)

Chris Isaak brings the fur! I…I’m nearly speechless. Wetsuit. Fur. Um… (BusyBeeBlogger)

Snooki vs Cops! Why does the stubby sexpot always end up on the losing end of these exchanges with the law? CONSPIRACY! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Divorcing Celebrities celebrate Memorial Day! Shop till you drop/straddle a penis replacement. Guess which is the Kennedy. (CelebritySmack)

The Girl with the Most Awesome Movie Trailer. Or dragon tattoo. But everybody I know has one of those. Just me then? Just me? (CelebVIPLounge)

Sean Kingston and his plus one admitted to Emergency, bypassing the velvet rope. In related news, people have serious accidents on JetSki’s? (DailyStab)

Good news/Bad news: In Good News news, next generation Kardashians are unable to replicate. In Bad News news, they may still be sleeping with your children. (EarSucker)

Selma Blair much less intolerable pregnant. In related news, Selma Blair pregnant (who knew? who cared?) (FitFabCeleb)

Top THAT! 15 Stars wearing top hats: if Only I were one. My top hat fetish is a remnant of my 80′s upbringing. (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Miley Cyrus makes it easy for the TSA. And also gossip bloggers looking for cheap shots. (HaveUHeard)

“Hobbit” teasers. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (HollywoodHiccups)

Adorable mentally impaired person proposes to Lady Gaga on Twitter. No response yet. (INeedMyFix)

Born this way: deeply in debt. Oh, who can’t relate to this? (MathewGuiver)

Britney hates Brazil? Don’t cry for her! (PoorBritney)

And this is WHY the Bielebers hate Selina Gomez. Because you don’t get a figure like that lying around your Scarborough bedroom listening to YouTubes! (TheSkinny)

More Pink! More Plump! More Plus! Oh come on, who doesn’t love this woman? More of her is ALWAYS better! (TheSkinnyChic)

Selah.

Presented Without Comment

Suri Cruise should apologize for this outfit

Suri Cruise should apologize for this outfit

Well, no comment from me, that is. I think this is enough.

From A Guide to Elegance: For Every Woman Who Wants to Be Well and Properly Dressed on All Occasions:

Little daughters are understandably the pride and joy of their monthers, but they are very often also, alas, the reflection of their mothers’ inelegance. When you see a poor child all ringletted, beribboned, and loaded down with a handbag, an umbrella, and earrings, or wearing crepe-soled shoes with a velvet dress, you can e certain that her mother hasn’t the slightest bit of taste.

 

Stop! In the name of good taste!

Stop! In the name of ... all that is holy

Stop! In the name of ... all that is holy

The Fake and Bake is strong with this one.

Let’s all have a glass of Bolli fortified with Stoli and a good hard look at ourselves in the mirror (are we really turning into our mothers?) and a few celebrity gossip links with a Mother’s Day theme.

The great Hillary Clinton cover-up (raincoaster)

Mother’s Day food porn (ManoloFood)

Guess the celebrity and her mom (Ayyyy)

Norman Bates LOVES his mommy (Lolebrity)

Rock on: Mother’s Day ditty from Dwayne Johnson (AgentBedhead)

Sheryl Crow’s building her own Partridge Family (BusyBeeBlogger)

That’s it, Bieber! Go to your room! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Sean Penn, you listen to your mother! YOU COME BACK HERE YOUNG MAN!!! (CelebritySmack)

It’s okay, Kate, don’t be jealous. Mom always liked you best (CelebVIPLounge)

Is this woman the fiercest mom on the planet? (CityRag)

Baby Beckham is already colour-coordinated (DailyStab)

Mommy had better get out of rehab soon (EarSucker)

Uh, is this some kind of bizarre Hollywood fertility rite? (FitFabCeleb)

Celebs and their moms on Mother’s Day (HaveUHeard)

Sparklepants and the world’s most famous unwed mother pose (HollywoodHiccups)

Mom Julia Roberts wants to save millions of moms’s lives (INeedMyFix)

Xtina shows off her babyfeed silos (MathewGuiver)

Teen mom Jamie Lynn is scaring me (PoorBritney)

Saluting Sophia Loren, about 40 years late (PopBytes)

Happy mother’s day from Roseanne (SeriouslyOMG)

In certain circles George Clooney’s birthday was also a holiday (SwoonWorthy)

World’s most famous barren womb indulges in Salvation Armani (TheSkinny)

The torch is passed: Madonna’s girl-child releases a single (TheSkinnyChic)

 

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