We’re catching up on choosing the winners in our Caption Contests, having come to the realization you’re too smart to work for nothing, even if the something you’re awarded is completely imaginary! so…We’re starting with Suri and her hypnotic stare. Don’t forget to enter our current caption contest.
Desideria April 30, 2012 at 6:41 pm
My lovely colleague raincoaster has been temporarily sidelined. So I am stepping in to fill some very large, albeit gin-soaked, shoes. Unfortunately, I lack raincoaster’s Assange/alcohol/Viggo obsessions, but hopefully she will be back sooner rather than later.
Today I present alleged singer Porcelain Black, fresh from the BET awards.
Hon, you know you’ve got problems when a 3 year old rocks the cone bra better than you do.
“Oh MOM! I told you to go before we left home!”
In related news, Katie is actually wearing three inch heels. On the beach. As for the blazer with cutoffs, the “Goldman Sachs/Tara Reid” look has never worked for anyone.
Let’s have a round of Pee-Pee Cocktails (yes, this is a real thing, and not half bad) and some celebrity gossip links.
Alec Baldwin busts his cherry! Twitter virginity: it’s happened to all of us! (raincoaster)
How many Britney fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No, seriously, how many? Take off your socks if you have to… (Ayyyy)
Sunday Food Porn! Sushi Sunday! Not bad, for a legally blind photographer. (Manolofood)
Conan O’Brien’s Coyote Morning. OMG she’s so totally under age! (Lolebrity)
Chicken Soup for the Young Witch. Which really should include the advice to read better books, you’d think. (AgentBedhead)
Chris Isaak brings the fur! I…I’m nearly speechless. Wetsuit. Fur. Um… (BusyBeeBlogger)
Snooki vs Cops! Why does the stubby sexpot always end up on the losing end of these exchanges with the law? CONSPIRACY! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Divorcing Celebrities celebrate Memorial Day! Shop till you drop/straddle a penis replacement. Guess which is the Kennedy. (CelebritySmack)
The Girl with the Most Awesome Movie Trailer. Or dragon tattoo. But everybody I know has one of those. Just me then? Just me? (CelebVIPLounge)
Sean Kingston and his plus one admitted to Emergency, bypassing the velvet rope. In related news, people have serious accidents on JetSki’s? (DailyStab)
Good news/Bad news: In Good News news, next generation Kardashians are unable to replicate. In Bad News news, they may still be sleeping with your children. (EarSucker)
Selma Blair much less intolerable pregnant. In related news, Selma Blair pregnant (who knew? who cared?) (FitFabCeleb)
Top THAT! 15 Stars wearing top hats: if Only I were one. My top hat fetish is a remnant of my 80′s upbringing. (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Miley Cyrus makes it easy for the TSA. And also gossip bloggers looking for cheap shots. (HaveUHeard)
“Hobbit” teasers. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (HollywoodHiccups)
Adorable mentally impaired person proposes to Lady Gaga on Twitter. No response yet. (INeedMyFix)
Born this way: deeply in debt. Oh, who can’t relate to this? (MathewGuiver)
Britney hates Brazil? Don’t cry for her! (PoorBritney)
And this is WHY the Bielebers hate Selina Gomez. Because you don’t get a figure like that lying around your Scarborough bedroom listening to YouTubes! (TheSkinny)
More Pink! More Plump! More Plus! Oh come on, who doesn’t love this woman? More of her is ALWAYS better! (TheSkinnyChic)
Well, no comment from me, that is. I think this is enough.
Little daughters are understandably the pride and joy of their monthers, but they are very often also, alas, the reflection of their mothers’ inelegance. When you see a poor child all ringletted, beribboned, and loaded down with a handbag, an umbrella, and earrings, or wearing crepe-soled shoes with a velvet dress, you can e certain that her mother hasn’t the slightest bit of taste.
The Fake and Bake is strong with this one.
Let’s all have a glass of Bolli fortified with Stoli and a good hard look at ourselves in the mirror (are we really turning into our mothers?) and a few celebrity gossip links with a Mother’s Day theme.
The great Hillary Clinton cover-up (raincoaster)
Mother’s Day food porn (ManoloFood)
Guess the celebrity and her mom (Ayyyy)
Norman Bates LOVES his mommy (Lolebrity)
Rock on: Mother’s Day ditty from Dwayne Johnson (AgentBedhead)
Sheryl Crow’s building her own Partridge Family (BusyBeeBlogger)
That’s it, Bieber! Go to your room! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
It’s okay, Kate, don’t be jealous. Mom always liked you best (CelebVIPLounge)
Baby Beckham is already colour-coordinated (DailyStab)
Mommy had better get out of rehab soon (EarSucker)
Celebs and their moms on Mother’s Day (HaveUHeard)
Sparklepants and the world’s most famous unwed mother pose (HollywoodHiccups)
Xtina shows off her babyfeed silos (MathewGuiver)
Teen mom Jamie Lynn is scaring me (PoorBritney)
Saluting Sophia Loren, about 40 years late (PopBytes)
Happy mother’s day from Roseanne (SeriouslyOMG)
The torch is passed: Madonna’s girl-child releases a single (TheSkinnyChic)
Seriously, why don’t they just rename it “Tramps and Drag Queens Day” instead of Ladies’ Day? I need a Drag Queen Cocktail and some distracting gossip links.
Ellen Page is poetry in motion (raincoaster)
Cornify makes any website into poetry (raincoastermedia)
Jack Kerouac IS poetry (Lolebrity)
Gwyneth is greased! Hounds, release! (AgentBedhead)
ZOMG I think we know what sent Morrissey into his rage (BusyBeeBlogger)
Their bodies are wonderlands (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Bad Barbie is alarmy (CityRag)
PlayPenn Pals (DailyStab)
Celebrities, they text just like us! (EarSucker)
and Pauly D weeps into his mirror (FitFabCeleb)
RyRey is CGI’d, big-thighed (HollywoodHiccups)
Least romantic love scene description EVER (INeedMyFix)
Literary light crashes and burns (MathewGuiver)
Macho Man Can! (Swoonworthy)
Call it a deconstructive approach to the human face (TheSkinnyChic)