Lily Allen miscarriage (PerezHilton)

Was Gywneth Paltrow’s hospital visit pregnancy-related? (HollywoodBackwash)

B52s release a new album (WOWReport)

Pete Doherty wears lingerie (Yeeeeah)

Or maybe he goes commando (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse’s husband is a Mommy’s Boy (CelebWarship)

Diddy needs a new parasol valet (ASocialitesLife)

Piven buys dresses for women he’s never met (Mollygood)

Tara Reid; your drunk boobie pix roundup (Cityrag)

Sarah Jessica Parker pretends she didn’t have a nose job (ImNotObsessed)

There’s more than one Britney Spears? OH NOES! (JustJared)

Oprah fires Dr Phil’s Britney-bandwagon-jumping opportunistic Texas ass (Popbytes)

Hasselhoff holidays in rehab, lives out Fairytale of New York (CeleBitchy)

Rachel Ray throws coffee diva fit (HolyCandy)

Kate Moss, now appearing as Slutty Professor Trelawney (GoFugYourself)

The Albino Wino goes haywire (DListed)

Everybody wants Britney dead (Defamer)

Johnny Depp dresses down for Paris (CelebritySmack)

Meta! Article on how people don’t read (Gawker)

Joan Collins, rock of ages (Jezebel)

I have had the good fortune to have met babydaddy-to-be Matthew McConaughey many times over the years and I will go on record as saying that he is one of the few celebrities I’ve ever met who I’d actually allow into my home (although he would have to wear a shirt. Sure he’s ripped and all glistening with hotness, and that’s great and all but do you know hard it is to get glistening hotness out of a brand new silk-upholstered club chair? Really freakin’ hard.)

So it is with the utmost tender affection that I point you in the direction of this newscaster who plays a master stroke interpreting the big baby announcement through the pot-hazed, bell-bottom clad persona of McConaughey’s most famous –and seemingly autobiographical– character, Wooderson from the classic Rick Linklater film “Dazed and Confused”

Watch it here.