Ayyyy!

The Hoff hassled to the tune of $25,000 per month Hasselmony (USAToday)

Vince Vaughn is the Flabby Flasher of Griffith Park (CelebSlam)

Akon guilty of criminal assault on the truth with intent to blow smoke up your ass (AgentBedhead)

Hollywood selling out (no, that’s not a tautology) (Derober)

The jailbird diaries of Pete Doherty (HolyMoly)

Britney’s Total Fitness? Somewhere between couch potato and Basset Hound (TheBlemish)

America’s Next Top Flight Attendant? (IBBB)

Gossip Wars: attack of the necroporn pimps! (Defamer)

Who is this “Dalai Lama” of whom you speak? (Gawker)

Scientology vs the Little Guy, round N+1 (XenuTV)

Naomi Campbell shuts barn door, gazes wistfully after horse (CelebritySmack)

Get M-K O’s look! Then, presumably, get much-needed corrective lenses (CircusHour)

Ashlee Simpson just isn’t worth it (DListed)

Cameron Diaz issues statement about the death of her father (CeleBitchy)

Johnny Depp will never work with Renee Zellweger again as long as he lives (DailyStab)

Blake, Incarcerated, Forgotten (TheSun)

Scarface (GabbyBabble)

Putin’s poontang  (BittenAndBound)

Victoria Beckham’s Pink Taco is 34? (JustJared)

The Hoff knows the mighty power of an 8 1/2 by 11 (Defamer)

Kimberly Stewart wears possibly the ugliest shoes the universe has ever seen (TheRadReport)

Katie needs a raise! (BittenAndBound)

Lindsay Lohan will NOT assume the missionary position (Yeeeeah)

David Beckham says his prayers (TheBlemish)

Jennifer Aniston’s Miss Havisham decorating scheme (POTP)

A little bit country, a little bit hip-hop, a LOT batshiat insane (ImNotObsessed)

Kelly Osborne, unmasked! (LARagMag)

Gentlemen, start your engines: Emma Watson is legal (Derober)

Tom Cruise will do anything for Becks, even endure soccer (DailyStab)

Mary-Kate Olsen celebrates New Year’s in April. Also, apparently, Halloween (JustJared)

Britney’s comeback plan (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Pete Doherty maintains personal hygiene in prison  (AgentBedhead)

Brangelina is a contraceptive (CeleBitchy)

Shirley Manson is a grown-up (CelebritySmack)

Tilda Swinton just as strange as imagined (CircusHour)

Liveblogging Sex with Sue (CandyKirby)

Gwyneth Paltrow is an alien (GoFugYourself)

RIP PawPaw (Gawker)

Perhaps the single greatest concentration of awesomeness in the entire celebrity gossip blogosphere (TaylorMayde)

What IS Dick Cheney looking at? The possibilities revealed (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Karl Lagerfeld’s coke dealer photographed! (Towleroad)

For your next necrophiliac Goth stag party: the Marilyn Monroe postmortem sex tape (Websters)

Pete Doherty adapting well to the bottom bunk (AgentBedhead)

But his ego needs a separate bed (CelebWarship)

Kate Moss dressed for a white wedding (TheRadReport)

Amy Winehouse with child (DListed)

Mariah’s diet secrets have nothing to do with lipo, coke, or diet Redbull. Honest to blog (HollywoodBackwash)

James Blunt is easily hurt (ICYDK)

The Hoff is hawt! (SeriouslyOMG)

Grandma got run over by Timbaland (DerekHail)

Britney Spears to show Chris Crocker how it’s done (TastefulCelebs)

The $90 million per year Chickenhawk strikes again! (CircusHour)

Did a jealous Woz put the hit on Adnan Ghalib? (CeleBitchy)

Jessica Alba visited by the Titty Fairy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Britney gives ME whiplash, too (CelebritySmack)

JLo lost preggo weight, yo. You may now recommence hating her (JustJared)

Save the cheerleader (from the paparazzi) (GabbyBabble)

Hillary Clinton can’t even get a boilermaker right (DailyStab)

Renee Zellweger and the Curse of Bridget Jones (DailyMail)

I Know My Kid’s a Star lets everyone know your mom is a trainwreck (IBBB)

Recession makes Botox unaffordable? Twice the worry lines! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Silver Fox Smackdown: Miss Manners vs Anna Wintour (Gawker)

SATC spoilers. Uh, SPOILER ALERT! (Defamer)

The Ozzfather: Survivor Micronesia recap (RealityTV)

Margaret Cho is a tour guide in the Tunnel of Love (AgentBedhead)

Quentin Crisps (FrontierFormerEditor)

Pete Doherty stole Paula Abdul’s gloves (Dlisted)

Anonymous vs Scientology, round n+1: Operation Reconnect (1stepbeond)

Cult Friction, Scientology decoded (RadarOnline)

Jerry Seinfeld flips out (Derober)

Lindsay Lohan loses a zero, finds the role of a lifetime (CelebritySmack)

Justin Timberlake was a little bit country when he was only a little bit, himself (AllieIsWired)

Angelina Jolie before she had Brad and rhinoplasty (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Naomi Campbell behaves Naomi Campbellianly again (CelebWarship)

New pic of JLo’s twins: r not so cute akshuly (TeenyManolo)

Larry Campbell behaves Larry Campbellianly at Little League (Bumpshack)

OK what? Suri Cruise returns to Earth; celebrity mags, not so much (OK)

Anne Hathaway’s boytoy arrested for blowing through others’ cash like it was…blow? (WendyWayrad)

Baby wants her back back: entire Beckham family stuffs their jeans (TheRadReport)

Steve Jobs takes on the Big Apple (Wired)

Celebrity moose knuckle (Cityrag)

Happy birthday, Britney! (CircusHour)

Happy birthday, Jamie-Lynn (CelebrityBabyScoop)

George Clooney’s not-so-secret bromance (Celebitchy)

Claudia Schiffer hits the slopes with Mini-Her (JustJared)

Tomorrow NKOTB on Today! (DailyStab)

The Cruise family triplets (Defamer)

Jennifer Aniston’s Plan C (HollywoodOffender)

Angelina Jolie’s gestational diabetes (CelebrityDirt)

Paris Hilton wins contest she was born to conquer (GabbyBabble)

Drunkblogging The Hills (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Stuff Young Jewish Adults Like (StuffYoungJewishAdultsLike)

Hillary’s hidden heroism! (Gawker.com)

raincoaster, revealed (TheGrassyKnollInstitute)

“There’s no-one bigger than Johnny.” (AgentBedhead)

The ageless and well-lubricated beauty of Priscilla Presley (CircusHour)

Flying penguins discovered (BBC)

Kate Hudson baits her Owen Wilson trap with babies, apartments (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Lara Flynn Boyle’s face: a medical opinion (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jessica Alba is practicing parenting on loaner charity children (Bastardly)

Keith Richards admits to drug use. No, not an April Fool’s story! (TheRadReport)

At least somebody still wants Britney Spears (DailyStab)

Cindy Crawford is immortal (CelebritySmack)

It’s all in the mouseovers, baby! The genesis of the Great Gossip Linkoff here.

Supprtd! (Defamer)

Suckaz! (Valleywag)

Accurst! (Gawker)

Dichotomous! (AgentBedhead)

Saviour! (Celebitchy)

Accident! (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Soap-On-A-Rope! (CelebritySmack)

Faceplant! (DListed)

Pooh! (Cityrag)

Duddy! (TheBlemish)

JagermICEter! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Greek! (ICYDK)

Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhno! (Queerty)

Drive! (Popsugar)

Majestic? (GoFugYourself)

Cloooooooooooney! (CircusHour)

Miserification! (Yeeeeah)

Infected! (Mollygood)

Single! (DailyStab)

Caffeinated! (JustJared)

NKOTB!!!!!!! (ImNotObsessed)

Jenna Bush O-Face (Webster’s)

20 most expensive celebrity divorces (CustomizedGirl)

Amy Winehouse is not exactly “clean, green power” (Yeeeeah)

Brad Pitt is not black enough! (PopOnThePop)

We have a Scientologist DOWN! Repeat: we have a Scientologist DOWN! (TheBlemish)

Former child star begins the long slide into bankruptcy, boozing, and B&E’s (AgentBedhead)

It’s La Pequeña’s world. We just live in it (Dlisted)

George Clooney keeps a lid on it (JustJared)

JC Chasez does not Chace Crawford (Mollygood)

Gold digger headed straight for the center of the Earth (DailyStab)

Win a date with Barack Obama! (Stereohyped)

Someone needs to tell Demi Moore it’s just a metaphor (ImNotObsessed)

Lucy Liu wants to be a WASP fashionista popsicle zombie (ICYDK)

Top Model walks? (Defamer)

Most historically inaccurate films (YahooMovies)

Robin Williams soon to be EX-Mrs.Doubtfire (ExtraTV)

Artificial Sweetener Valley High (Gawker)

Tom Cruise and John Travolta abducted by aliens! (CircusHour)

At American Idol, every moment is happy hour (GoFugYourself)

Japan goes insane for baseball-playing koala (WithMalice)

Martha Stewarts booze all-stars (Defamer)

Anderson Cooper recovering from cancer surgery (Gawker)

Scandal in the Heath Ledger estate (DailyStab)

Twenty-five most whipped men in the world (Style.com)

The exploitation of Daniel Radcliffe’s bum! Daniel Radcliffe’s Bum! (AgentBedhead)

You can never un-see this, so click at own risk (DListed)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend gave her a ring. And not on the phone (Celebitchy)

Madonna still wearing hers, surprisingly (ImNotObsessed)

Cha-cha not the only thing going down on Dancing with the Stars (CelebritySmack)

When bad makeup happens to good C-Listers (DerekHail)

Colin Farrell celebrates his third Sober St Pat’s (ICYDK)

Jen/Owen/Kate/fake triangle fake drama (popbytes)

Shia LaBeouf is on the lam! (CelebNewsWire)

Things white people like: Dinner Parties! (ThingsWhitePeopleLike)

Jenna Jameson to star in Zombie Strippers? Documentary, perhaps? (CircusHour)

The pulling power of celebrity: someone still wants Carrot Top (Craigslist)

Amy Winehouse really could use that infamous red bra right about now (NSFW!!!) (POTP)

Is this the most disappointingly misleading headline ever? (Cityrag)

Halle Berry covers her baby’s bases. Planning a move to Gaza? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Steve Jobs = Cthulhu (Raincoaster)

Celebs know you hate them (Gawker)

We’ve lost Will Smith (Defamer)

Conan the Late Night Barbarian (Cityrag)

Kelly Clarkson is a Commando! (DailyStab)

Who’d you rather? Luck of the drunkish game (LiquidGeneration)

50 animals with drinking problems (BestWeekEver)

Heather Mills gets nearly $50 million, makes her daughter fly coach anyway (Celebitchy)

Cindy Crawford’s beach house like a Russian nesting doll (Celebslam)

Full Frontal Friday (NSFW! and Jim Carrey is on there!) (CrazyDaysAndNights)

The end of Abba (GlitteratiGossip)

Divorce is pricey, y’all! (EvilBeet)

Michael Stipe’s closet has a revolving door (Dlisted)

Breaking: Ashton Kutcher is decorative (ImNotObsessed)

Orlando Bloom’s face suitable for scrubbing pans in a diner. Still decorative, though (Popsugar)

Pussycat Doll wears Mom Jeans! (TheGrumpiest)

Nicole Richie is as sick of Paris Hilton as everyone else (CelebritySmack)

Heather Mills is psychostylin’ (GoFugYourself)

Britney Spears in: Mad Max, Beyond Thunderthighs! (Yeeeeah)

Celebrities who look like leprechauns (CircusHour)

Halle Berry had her baby girl (PerezHilton)

George Clooney, straight up (AgentBedhead)

Mary Ann FTW! (Celebritysmack)

Owen Wilson discovers he’s not Jesus (Defamer)

Discovers he may be dating Jennifer Aniston (Star)

Maybe Ginger Spice is Jesus? (Dlisted)

How to annoy Mariah Carey (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jodie Foster just can’t catch a break (Celebitchy)

Madonna is afraid of you (ImNotObsessed)

Lindsay Lohan is a do-it-yourselfer (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Betty White kicks ass (Cityrag)

Iggy Pop will not be stopped (Mollygood)

Eddie Van Halen is back in rehab (PerezHilton)

Bigfoot invades LA (CircusHour)

Jodie Foster and her sons (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Britney Spears hates her life (PopOnThePop)

Julianne Moore spits on Spitzer (JustJared)

Cindy Crawford’s child is beautiful beyond the lot of mortals (Celebslam)

Your latest “Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to marry” rumour (HollywoodRag)

Heath Ledger leaves Matilda out of his will (Defamer)

Tilda Swinton hates Harry Potter (Gawker)

Happy Birthday, Emma Watson (Derober)

Leonard Cohen is a beautiful loser (AgentBedhead)

1 Clooney, 2 girls, and 1 cup (Celebitchy)

A letter to the mad bomber of Times Square (IBBB)

Anne Heche to scare the horses (GabbyBabble)

Crazy Britney Spears has the craziest stalker. It’s kind of perfect (Yeeeeah)

Big Gay Al is free! Star Jones prepares to coug at a singles bar near you (Cityrag)

Celine Dion is Cousin Itt! (CelebritySmack)

Governor Spitzer refuses to privatize his sex life, shares it with downtrodden call girls (Dlisted)

Pierrot clown claims someone was stealing Kurt Cobain’s money (CircusHour)

America’s Next Top Models are America’s Current Slobbiest Tenants (CelebWarship)

Angelina’s baby bump is in mourning (JustJared)

Cocktail waitress gives up job to marry George Clooney (IDLYITW)

Matthew McConaughey wants to name his son after beer (HollywoodRag)

Jamie-Lynn’s baby bump is bountiful (US)

Lindsay Lohan’s next gig? (TeenyManolo)

Top seven Suri Cruise Conspiracy Theories (BritboyLA)

Britney’s about to meet my mother (TMZ)

Natalie Portman wants to give it away (Jezebel)

Joe Francis is about to skip bail (PerezHilton)

If at first you don’t succeed, you marry Tom Cruise (Mollygood)

Should wives of scandalous men stand by them? (CitizenSugar)

Cindy Crawford notches another kill (HollywoodTuna NSFW!)

Oscar nominated celebrity strippers! (Defamer)

Owen Wilson was the Times Square bomber? (Gawker)

Celebrity Sex Scenes (raincoaster)

Liam Gallagher enjoys a Metrosexual Oasis (AgentBedhead)

Lucy Liu is the wildcat to Jenna Jameson’s Jocelyn Wildenstein (GabbyBabble)

Helen Keller can still make the news even without Patty Duke Astin (DiscoveryNews)

Greasy Gummi Bear busted with heroin (CelebritySmack)

Colin Farrell is intense in GQ (AllieIsWired)

Butt, Mischa… (TheBastardly)

$1.5 million still won’t buy you a brain; the most painful pictures you will see all day (CoEdMag)

SJP fall down, go BOOM! Go BOOM real good! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Dita von Teese still takes her clothes off for a living, looks better in them than we ever will (ImNotObsessed)

Jack Nicholson was kicked out of a Rolling Stones concert (DailyStab)

Buster Martin is more man than Jack Nicholson will ever be! (CircusHour)

Owen Wilson and me (JustJared)

Britney’s got a new stalker! (PerezHilton)

Wino lives up to her name (Mirror)

Justin Timberlake has a problem with women (HollywoodReporter)