Ayyyy!

George Clooney, straight up (AgentBedhead)

Mary Ann FTW! (Celebritysmack)

Owen Wilson discovers he’s not Jesus (Defamer)

Discovers he may be dating Jennifer Aniston (Star)

Maybe Ginger Spice is Jesus? (Dlisted)

How to annoy Mariah Carey (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jodie Foster just can’t catch a break (Celebitchy)

Madonna is afraid of you (ImNotObsessed)

Lindsay Lohan is a do-it-yourselfer (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Betty White kicks ass (Cityrag)

Iggy Pop will not be stopped (Mollygood)

Eddie Van Halen is back in rehab (PerezHilton)

Bigfoot invades LA (CircusHour)

Jodie Foster and her sons (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Britney Spears hates her life (PopOnThePop)

Julianne Moore spits on Spitzer (JustJared)

Cindy Crawford’s child is beautiful beyond the lot of mortals (Celebslam)

Your latest “Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to marry” rumour (HollywoodRag)

Heath Ledger leaves Matilda out of his will (Defamer)

Tilda Swinton hates Harry Potter (Gawker)

Happy Birthday, Emma Watson (Derober)

Leonard Cohen is a beautiful loser (AgentBedhead)

1 Clooney, 2 girls, and 1 cup (Celebitchy)

A letter to the mad bomber of Times Square (IBBB)

Anne Heche to scare the horses (GabbyBabble)

Crazy Britney Spears has the craziest stalker. It’s kind of perfect (Yeeeeah)

Big Gay Al is free! Star Jones prepares to coug at a singles bar near you (Cityrag)

Celine Dion is Cousin Itt! (CelebritySmack)

Governor Spitzer refuses to privatize his sex life, shares it with downtrodden call girls (Dlisted)

Pierrot clown claims someone was stealing Kurt Cobain’s money (CircusHour)

America’s Next Top Models are America’s Current Slobbiest Tenants (CelebWarship)

Angelina’s baby bump is in mourning (JustJared)

Cocktail waitress gives up job to marry George Clooney (IDLYITW)

Matthew McConaughey wants to name his son after beer (HollywoodRag)

Jamie-Lynn’s baby bump is bountiful (US)

Lindsay Lohan’s next gig? (TeenyManolo)

Top seven Suri Cruise Conspiracy Theories (BritboyLA)

Britney’s about to meet my mother (TMZ)

Natalie Portman wants to give it away (Jezebel)

Joe Francis is about to skip bail (PerezHilton)

If at first you don’t succeed, you marry Tom Cruise (Mollygood)

Should wives of scandalous men stand by them? (CitizenSugar)

Cindy Crawford notches another kill (HollywoodTuna NSFW!)

Oscar nominated celebrity strippers! (Defamer)

Owen Wilson was the Times Square bomber? (Gawker)

Celebrity Sex Scenes (raincoaster)

Liam Gallagher enjoys a Metrosexual Oasis (AgentBedhead)

Lucy Liu is the wildcat to Jenna Jameson’s Jocelyn Wildenstein (GabbyBabble)

Helen Keller can still make the news even without Patty Duke Astin (DiscoveryNews)

Greasy Gummi Bear busted with heroin (CelebritySmack)

Colin Farrell is intense in GQ (AllieIsWired)

Butt, Mischa… (TheBastardly)

$1.5 million still won’t buy you a brain; the most painful pictures you will see all day (CoEdMag)

SJP fall down, go BOOM! Go BOOM real good! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Dita von Teese still takes her clothes off for a living, looks better in them than we ever will (ImNotObsessed)

Jack Nicholson was kicked out of a Rolling Stones concert (DailyStab)

Buster Martin is more man than Jack Nicholson will ever be! (CircusHour)

Owen Wilson and me (JustJared)

Britney’s got a new stalker! (PerezHilton)

Wino lives up to her name (Mirror)

Justin Timberlake has a problem with women (HollywoodReporter)

Sometimes you just have to wonder about these hard-living, out-of-control celebrity offspring. Sure, the bottle label says San Pellegrino but really, have you ever seen anyone needing to be carried away by their minder because they drank too much mineral water?

Jessica Alba discovers esoteric French cuisine: the ham and cheese sandwich (Dlisted)

RIP Gary Gygax (TeenyManolo)

JLo and Marc Anthony are so over doing it (DailyStab)

Liev Schrieber is a sexy supervillain (Derober)

Rosie O’Donnell: a portrait of the artist as a pile of junk food (AgentBedhead)

Nicole beats Xtina in the Mommystakes (CelebritySmack)

Jessica Alba is turning into JLo: Oh No! (IBBB)

Paris Hilton’s Buddhist holy man is unholy sham (GoneHollywood)

Vanessa Hudgens gets her drink, arrest on (BackseatCuddler)

Madonna and Demi Moore’s Oscar party candids (Defamer)

20 stupidest faces of Patrick Swayze, and that’s some tough competition (BWE)

Jeremy Piven parties with geeks (Gawker)

Famous writers as children (SomethingAwful)

The Project Runway guide to New York (Gridskipper)

Celebrities without necks (Celebitchy)

Pete Doherty … nah, I can’t say THAT! (Celebwarship)

Mac Guy sez Charlie’s Angel smells heavenly (ImNotObsessed)

There IS no tomorrow for Paula Abdul (ICYDK)

Mary-Kate Olsen’s face approaching Joan Rivers territory (Cityrag)

KFed is fat. Word. The word is “Fat.” (Yeeeeah)

Jamie Lee Curtis is not afraid of Jason, not afraid of Freddy Krueger, and she’s sure as HELL not afraid of a little constipation (GlitteratiGossip)

Ryan Seacrest’s shameful, secret passion for Simon Cowell (AgentBedhead)

Johnny Depp, The Hoff, and the Demon Barber Chair of Fleet Street (Celebitchy)

RIP blues guitarist Jeff Healey (EW)

Marion Cotillard says she was misquoted (Dlisted)

Accidents and babydaddy uncertainty are all in the family: the Spears family (Celebslam)

Angelina Jolie cannot be unsexed (Cityrag)

Scarlett Johansson auctions herself off (ImNotObsessed)

George Clooney doesn’t need no stinking swag bag (Gabsmash)

Sienna Miller loves coke (Ninjadude)

Olsen Twins’s book leaked! (236)

Kate Moss demoted (Popsugar)

Oprah is such a giver (IBBB)

Elle MacPherson shows off her lingerie line (CelebritySmack)

Prince Harry is a cunning linguist (CircusHour)

Sandra Bernhard supports a losing cause (AwfulPlasticSurgery)

Jamie-Lynn is expecting a boy, massive publicity (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Anonymous vs Gossip Bloggers (Valleywag)

Ten worst nude scenes of all time (Papermag)

Mariah Carey, Kenneth the Page, a Unicorn, and a good deal of lycra (Defamer)

Heath Ledger’s Nick Drake music video (raincoaster)

King Arthur’s been dead a long time: Pete Doherty is UK Hero of the Year (AgentBedhead)

Nicole Richie is Roxie Hart in Chicago! (CelebritySmack)

Hillary Winehouse makeover (PrettyOnTheOutside)

The Beautiful People looking…not so much (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Prince Harry’s undercover operation is terminated (DListed)

Britney Spears to join the British army (TheSpoof)

The Croc Widow vs the Croc Papa (PerezHilton)

Pink’s Sapphic sideshow KO’d her marriage (Celebitchy)

The Boozehound Awards (Pajiba)

The littlest Scientologists have names now (EvilBeet)

Karl Lagerfeld’s vampire kisses have no effect on bloodless troll (CircusHour)

Kate Beckinsale is a cunning linguist (Websters)

Victoria’s Secret is out (TheBlemish)

RUN, OWEN WILSON! RUUUUUUUN! (Yeeeeah)

Brad Pitt’s monchichi haircut (CelebWarship)

Katoucha Niane’s body found in the Seine (GabbyBabble)

Gary Busey attacks children, including Britney (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Jay-Z is accursed, in bed with slave traders (Gawker)

The Real Housewives of New York is unreal! (Jezebel)

It’s called the casting crouch nowadays (Defamer)

Could YOU be Jamie-Lynn Spears’s babydaddy? (Celebitchy)

Christina Aguilera’s boobs are one veiny, lopsided mess (ImNotObsessed)

Ali Lohan wants to be just like her big sister. Only without the mug shots and dry spells (JustJared)

Amy Winehouse has Estee Lauder running scared, yew betcha (Dlisted)

The blogosphere takes a scalp (DeusExMalcontent)

Secrets of Celebrity Swag (Forbes)

The twins have landed (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Owen Wilson to spend another Night at the Museum, six months at my place (MTVMoviesBlog)

Owen Wilson apparently looking up his old dealer (AllHeadlineNews)

Britney went cold turkey for four hours today (Mollygood)

If Jessica McClintock passed out on a Monet… (GoFugYourself)

Tom Cruise is the most popular freak in the circus (CircusHour)

A man who dresses like Perez Hilton should NOT be hating on the Anna Piaggi (PerezHilton)

Keira Knightly is soulless, miserable about it. So are we, actually (AgentBedhead)

Mischa Barton charged on four counts (EvilBeet)

Valerie Bertinelli has a damn good excuse: she was wasted! (CelebritySmack)

The Vampire Lestat will return! (PerezHilton)

Diablo Cody and the Case of the Missing Million Dollar Shoes (Defamer)

Christina Aguilera is down and out and firing everyone in sight (Gawker)

Julie Newmar does NOT go commando (Jezebel)

Vanessa Paradis is Superwoman (AgentBedhead)

Christie Brinkley is terrified of cosmetic surgery (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The infamous Spaghetti Incident (CelebritySmack)

Daniel Radcliffe’s Halle Berry Oscars moment (Dlisted)

Ruper Grint, meanwhile, picks up Lily Allen (HolyMoly)

Amy Winehouse just needs to know the love of a good lotion (EvilBeet)

Brad Renfro’s memory was not invited to the Oscars (Mollygood)

Bourne is back! (ICYDK)

Cher, or Drag Cher? (Cityrag)

Jennifer Aniston puts her eggs on ice? (ASocialitesLife)

KFed’s time is money: your money (Jossip)

Anderson Cooper blogs on the Lawrence King hate crime (JustJared)

Whoopie Goldberg’s Oscar snub (Celebitchy)

Prince is old. DAMN. (Bossip)

Joan Van Ark not technically dead, but Professor Van Helsing is on standby (Gabsmash)

Gary Busey explains himself (TheBlemish)

Madonna is free! (DailyStab)

Round three hundred and eighty-two goes to Jen (CircusHour)

A shopping guide for Oscar party jewel thieves (ImNotObsessed)

Somebody’s fucking Josh Brolin (Websters)

Marion Cotillard wears Cthulhu Couture to the Oscars (GoFugYourself)

Liveblogging the Oscars (Defamer)

Jimmy Kimmel is fucking Ben Affleck (Gawker)

Britney taken away by the men in white coats (TMZ)

Christina Aguilera has baby rage (Hollyscoop)

Eli Roth is a bedhead beyond belief (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan had too many double waters on the rocks (CelebritySmack)

Katie Holmes was delusional as a child (ImNotObsessed)

Directions to the Playboy Mansion (Derober)

Lessons from the Oscars (CircusHour)

Enough with the Oscars: who won the Razzies? (HolyMoly)

Worst idea for a musical ev-ar (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Gary Busey’s attempted red carpet rape of Jennifer Garner thwarted by Ryan “Macho” Seacrest (ASocialitesLife)

Pot calls kettle black (PerezHilton)

Diablo Cody won’t wear your stupid million dollar shoes! (Mollygood)

The Jolie-Pitt baby bump debuted to massive acclaim (Websters)

Falling Slowly for the song of the year (EvilBeet)

Kimora Lee Simmons’ death by a thousand quotes (Celebitchy)

Ben Affleck is so macho (Dlisted)

Hugh Jackman is uh is uh what was I saying? (Popsugar)

Best Chest Dressed: the nominees (Defamer)

Last year’s party monsters: this year’s sofa-bound popcorn munchers (Gawker)

Kate Moss will give the Proletariat the shirt off her back (AgentBedhead)

Mmmmmmmm, Johnny Depppppp….prit-tay! (Celebitchy)

Moobs! Mooooooooooobs! (Cityrag)

Amy Winehouse is no commando (Yeeeeah)

Angelina Jolie fainted again (Gabsmash)

Joan Rivers will draw blood (GlitteratiGossip)

Jennifer Lopez is the hardest-working mama in showbiz (CircusHour)

Dr. McDreamy is Versace Man! (PopSugar)

Sex and the City and the Poster and the Trailer (CelebritySmack)

Heath Ledger’s final image (HollywoodBackwash)

George Clooney is a thin-lipped Jelly Belly (DailyStab)

Britney Spears is the $22million dollar woman (HolyMoly)

Paris Hilton airs out the arm pubes (LARagMag)

Aaron Carter jailed! (WeLoveCelebs)

Natalie Portman wants to get nekkid (IDLYITW)

GEORGE CLOONEY IS WORLD’S MOST ADORABLE ADULT HUMAN (Mollygood)

Jenna Fischer’s paparazzi frenzy (JustJared)

Tom Cruise is shrinking! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

As you probably know by now, J. Lo –whose womb has as late been transformed into a Cavalli-coated fetal tour bus for two– has popped out a matching set of doubtlessly beautiful kiddios. The little divo and diva have yet to make their appearance, I believe they’re still negotiating their riders.