Ayyyy!

Ah, who am I kidding? Like I can afford brand-name drugs. I dunno what this is, but it dried up my nose just fine and hasn’t seemed to cause any sideaffex at al an i bot ity frum lenny out bac. i is fien.

oohmaz bad hare day (lolebrity)

dawn uv tha Twavatar (agentbedhead)

blak i’d p’s do robotface (amygrindhouse)

vangroover food prOn (busybeeblogger)

tila tekeela liarliarpantsonfire (celebritysmack)

maree antwanette at the brit awardz (holymoly)

jsimp seeks p-casso (celebitchy)

jiimmy kimmmmmellll gets it rite (celebdirtylaundry)

adam lmbert disconnex u (dailystab)

the ollllyimpic liveblog (gawker)

brangelina breeds monshishi (laughingstork)

st. angelina goez bak to her rutes (dlisted)

boggerpocalypse at b5 (earsucker)

saveypood no i did not make that up stoned thats what it actually said (movieline)

oh noes save teh fayk babehz~! (litelysalted)

what is this a photoshop contest (ibbb)

hello ur lyin (evilbeet)

meenwyle penny lane still undervalyood (gabbybabble)

undies win kellan lutz over (ineedmyfix)

menz fashun brit awardz im confyoozed wherez kfed (UKPopSugar)

axl roze 2 okkazhun (seriouslyomg)

i beeleev u have a hit (tengossip)

soaffie munks fone iz on vybrayte (theskinny)

Meet Miri Ben-Ari, pictured here at the Acclaimed Readers’ Choice Awards.

Wikipedia tells me that Ms Ben-Ari is an Israeli “hip-hop violinist” who is apparently ten pounds of awesome in a five pound bag. Unfortunately the aforementioned bag, aside from being strained by musical awesomeness, was also apparently drugged, kidnapped and made to do service as a minidress before being sent back to Bangkok in the early 7o’s.

Dear Xtina,

Remember how Monday I looked at your Web of Thighs dress and initially confused you with songstress and piano-squirmer extraordinaire Tori Amos, with the implied joke that La Amos, eccentric though she may be, wouldn’t be caught dead wearing something so horrible?

I take it back.

Can the person responsible for looking after Viggo’s hair please stand up and promptly shoot themselves in the head?  How one can transform a head of finely coiffed hair to a limp, greasy mess is beyond me.  Now that I have done the unthinkable and used the word limp in connection with this man, I should probably leave you alone to weep silently.  Seriously, does it not pain you to see the poor guy trying to use his unsuspecting co-star as a gunk remover?

UPDATE: He is merely wet, thanks for setting the record straight guys! Now where is the person who is supposed to towel him down – surely such a person should exist in everyone’s entourage and there are many who would happily volunteer for that job. 

It’s Anton Chigurh the cold-blooded murderer vs Eva Longoria the hotblooded Latina! One kills with monetary intentions, the other would kill for media mentions.

Naomi Campbell, trash collector (CandyKirby)

da hedlynz. dey rite demselvz (Lolebrity)

Omarosa makes The Bitch Switch (DirtyDirtDirt)

Breaking: Reality tv has standards! (CelebWarship)

Calum takes his Best shot at Lindsay Lohan (GabbyBabble)

50 Cent gives Taco Bell his two cents (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse is down for the count (CelebritySmack)

Hathaway hath a haircut (DailyStab)

Shia Labeouf sets off alarms (ImNotObsessed)

No love for the Love Guru (CeleBitchy)

Michael Jackson’s kids photographed (CityRag)

Tom Selleck’s driving down these days (AllieIsWired)

Kelly Ripa is a Tippi Hedren impersonator (DanasDirt)

Jaden Smith takes after his dad (Websters)

My Little Celebrity Pony? (BuzzSugar)

Helen Hunt and the wonders of Photoshop (CelebSlam)

Mandy Moore is NOT dating the elderly Canuck (PopSugar)

A Spears in college? Never! (IBBB)

Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker are cruel to their son (DListed)

Let’s be clear. I would still hit it. Oh yes I would. Every day of the week and –depending on how long church ran and if I had a headache from helping the priests finish the Communion wine– twice on Sundays.

That being said, Jeremy Irons who has admittedly been hot longer than I’ve been alive, was not looking his best at The 62nd Annual Tony awards on Sunday what with the Harry Potter specs and the facial foliage. I don’t trust mustaches. Facial hair is something about which one must be ever vigilant, lest a simple soup strainer turn into something far more sinister.

and two of them CAN‘T be “Power Top.”

Above: Grant Show, former resident stud of Melrose Place
Below: Jack Davenport, ex-Commodore of the HMS Dauntless, seeker of the Dead Man’s Chest and Admiral of the East India Trading Company

What a difference a misplaced clump of hair makes! Let’s hope their new show does sufficiently well in the ratings to justify a hairpiece budget.  Some things are best left behind on the set when the cameras stop rolling, don’t you think?

Conservation International and Harrison Ford have banded together to deliver a compelling public message – if you want Harrison Ford to stop inflicting excruciating pain on himself, then please consider saving the rainforests: 

Harrison Ford pulled a Steve Carell for a public service announcement: He gets his chest waxed. The 65-year-old star winces in apparent pain as a strip of hair is yanked from between his pecs for a PSA for Conservation International to raise awareness about the effect of deforestation on global warming.

The actor, who doesn’t typically appear in such TV spots, sits on the board of directors of the Washington-based environmental organization.

Conservation International CEO Peter Seligmann said Ford was game to do the 30-second spot, and approved of the waxing concept.

“I didn’t have to talk him into anything,” Seligmann said at a news conference Tuesday in Manhattan. “I was there when he filmed it. It really hurt. There’s nothing about the expression on his face that was fake.”

The classic scene from 2005’s “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” — in which Carell screams out “Kelly Clarkson!” during his chest hair removal — was intentionally hilarious. Ford’s message, however, is serious: “Every bit of rain forest that gets ripped out over there, really hurts us over here.”

It’s a clever idea but given the enormity of the problem, let’s up the ante and really give people something to remember shall we? I’m thinking a bucket of hot wax and Andy Garcia’s lush manjungle ought to do the trick.

Sometimes there’s no knowing what will happen when you ask your overpriced hairstylist for ”a trim and some layers”. That’s when someone as understanding as Mary J Blige comes in handy – she’ll provide a comforting shoulder for you to cry on and better still, hide your mangled mane in.  See what a difference having a good friend makes!

Amy Winehouse’s home haunted by demons. But moving’s not going to help, dear (Celebitchy)

A demon speaks! (CelebritySmack)

We need a silver bullet for this one (GabbyBabble)

Even Amy’s trash needs bodyguards (Celebslam)

Sir Paul McCartney feels Mariah Carey’s hot breath on the back of his neck (Dlisted)

Madonna, Bono caught in downdraft as Jay-Z passes them (Radar)

If this guy is straight, he’s got the best job in the whole world (TheBastardly)

Robin Williams is dating a blonde less than half his age (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Madonna sleeps with electronic doodads! (Mollygood)

Lindsay checks her stash (Yeeeeah)

Team Sutherland UNITE! (AgentBedhead)

Kiefer’s mystery fashionista (JustJared)

Shakira is a team playa (Defamer)

Dita von Teese has a shameful past as porn actress, Eighties hair wearer (PopOnThePop)

TMZ hits a new low for the gossip industry (Gawker)

Billy Joel rolls with a nearly-indistinguishable posse of daughter and wife (CircusHour)

Yeah, I’d rather die than live knowing I had sex with this guy, too (TheRadReport)

Keanu Reeves still alive, still hot (DailyStab)

Robert Redford still alive, still hot (Websters)

Jimmy Kimmel moves on from Ben Affleck (SeriouslyOMGWTF)