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Megan Fox’s Plastic Surgery Secret!

Megan Fox back when she was still a pup

Megan Fox back when she was still a pup

The unsuspected truth that she’s been covering up for years is…that she was actually born looking that way (apart from the nose, maybe the chin, and a face full of fillers). Who knew that Megan Fox was once recognizable as…Megan Fox? I’d-a lost a bet for sure.

Tuesday Caption Contest Results: Rob Lowe Yowe Edition

There were only two entrants, but they were both so good I think they scared away the competition. Who won the head-to-head between returning champ Klee and new entrant G-Dog?

Rob Lowe yo

Rob Lowe yo

G-dog May 29, 2013 at 10:09 pm #

Rob is Sabrina Duncan in the all male version of Charlie’s Angels.

Congratulations and kudos (whatever they are) to the triumphant G-dog. And now, for the hotly-anticipated virtual presentation of the imaginary swag (right-click, save, and stick it in your sidebar for all to admire!). For the best 70’s reference we read all week, and lo, we are major Sabrina fans, we hypothetically present the virtually swagalicious although actually lovely Halston Heritage Knot Waist Red Jersey Dress Gown. Wear it well, bro. Wear it well.

Tuesday Caption Contest: Rob Lowe, yowe

We’re a bit behind due to seasonal flu, but here is our captialicious photo for your delectation. Today’s apparition may frighten small children and those of exquisite taste. You have been warned.

Rob Lowe yo

Rob Lowe yo

Ol’ Spidereyes is Back!

Ol Spidereyes is back

Ol Spidereyes is back

This is not exactly what the scientists meant back in the mid-20th Century when they talked about “harnessing the power of plastics.” PS if that bodice gets any tighter, we’re going to have a leakage situation under the right armpit, and that’s a HAZMAT cleanup if ever I saw one.

Strange Creature Sighted in Florida

Phoebie Price

Phoebie Price

Not since the Creature from the Black Lagoon has the seashore shuddered at such a sight. Scientists are not sure what the creature is, exactly, although they have established that it is primarily composed of inorganic materials. And they’re pretty sure it had a bit part in Something About Mary.

What Price Fame?

Go on, pull the other one

Go on, pull the other one

Sixtysomething survivor Phoebe Price waits patiently for the Jolly Green Giant to come and take her away to that big Soundstage in the Sky. When he does get there, she wants to be totally ready for her closeup and to that end, has been consulting with her surgeon.

Hollywood sez: Go Big or Go Home!

The one on the right would look totally natural, Phoebs

The one on the right would look totally natural, Phoebs

He Put a Ring on It

He put a ring on the Duchess of Alba. She paid for it, but he put it there.

He put a ring on the Duchess of Alba. She paid for it, but he put it there.

Congratulations to Manolosphere favorite the Duchess of Alba and her boytoy, Whatsisname. It was a lovely ceremony by all accounts, and a lovely dress (with requisite detailing on the back, because of course the guests are staring at the back of the dress for most of the ceremony).

Baby Got Back!

Baby got back! Well, the Duchess of Alba got it.

Also lovely: the undoubtably soon-to-be-made romcom, starring Vincent Cassel and Jocelyn Wildenstein.

Vincent Cassel has that Gold Digger look about him. But I covet that sweaterjacket.The Bride of Wildenstein

 

Hump Day Hunk: Adrien Brody

Adrien Brody's prayers were answered when he made Hump Day Hunk

Adrien Brody's prayers were answered when he made Hump Day Hunk

There’s just something about this skeevy bastard that I like. Maybe it’s that he’s a winning rally driver. Maybe it’s that he looks so intellectual, and dresses so Pool Shark. Maybe it’s that hell, it’s been a long time and … but there, I’ve said too much. And besides, I can’t run Prince Harry every week, can I?

Let’s toast to Adrien’s dream come true with a spirited round of Pool Shark, the Drinking Game and some gossip links.

Wine A-Z; the ultimate Go Cup! A jogging bra/wine skin combo? Why the hell not, my camelbak imbues my Sauv Blanc with aromas of Gatorade as it is. (Manolofood)

Van Gogh and Orcas Unicorn Chaser. Make your hump day a little smoother with soothing pictures of swirling stars and wild whales in Downtown Vangroover. Yes, orcas belong in a gossip roundup. I’m Canadian, dammit.  (raincoaster)

Top That! Princess Beatrice’s amazing Hat of Hideousness (+10) is for sale on eBay to benefit children, if not onlookers (Ayyyy)

George Clooney chickens out. The television remake of Men Who Stare At Goats was disappointingly downscaled. (Lolebrity)

Life, Death, Violence, Barbie, and extremely mixed messages. I’m not exactly sure where the war crimes tribunal comes into it, but apparently it does, somewhere. Also: Ken is a draft dodger? (Crasstalk)

Dear God, Johnny Depp is a kinky beast. Taking a page from Chuck Berry, he made Penelope Cruz dress up as a … no, I can’t even say it. Seriously, nobody would put Salma Hayek through that. (AgentBedhead)

Is House getting evicted? Hugh Laurie has a great big, leaky mouth. There, take THAT image into your Bertie/Jeeves slash-thinking mind. (BusyBeeBlogger)

Yet another Jagger kid poses nekkid. Surely I thought we’d run out of these potato-faced wonders by now, but apparently not. Is “Club Kid” really a career choice? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

This is perhaps the most terrifying headline of all time, until you smack yourself in the head and say “IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU PERVERT” and move on. But still. (CelebritySmack)

Oh, Will Smith. It’s not the size: it’s how you use it! And using it to annoy an entire neighborhood is just Letting the Thetans Win. (CelebVIPLounge)

Bristol Palin, now surgically enhanced! But not improved: it wasn’t brain surgery, after all. (DailyStab)

Taylor Swift will out a bitch! This girl doesn’t exist off the record, and if you’re dating her, neither do you (EarSucker)

Lady Gaga is Asian? Golly, she MUST have had some serious work done; she doesn’t look it. (FitFabCeleb)

Owen Freaking Wilson and yeah, like, a bunch of other celebs in Cannes, but who gives a rat’s ass about them? Eh? OWEN WILSON! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Jennifer Aniston’s steamy banana handling. Look ma, no hands! No desperation, either…that is so NOT the sound of faint weeping I hear. Nosiree Bob. (HaveUHeard)

L’innocent sentenced to live in mansion next door to coke connection. Poor thing. That’ll teach HER! (HollywoodHiccups)

Who’s the $100 million man? The one going around spreading herpes? Yeah, “That one who dated Paris Hilton” doesn’t really narrow it down any. (INeedMyFix)

Joan Rivers better watch her back: Kermit the Frog is after her job. The Red Carpet just got a little greener and a LOT cuter (PopBytes)

Adorable Prince Harry and adorable puppy being adorable. Adorbz! What are you still doing here? CLICKY CLICK CLICK! (Swoonworthy)

Caption the Gouvernator and his ex. I’m thinking something Harry Potter related. She reminds me of Emma Thompson’s character, the Divinology professor. (RightCelebrity)

 

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