I bet the jail rolled out a red carpet, too. Wet with the blood of the innocents

via: cvxn:worstfuckingideas:whydoihaveablog:

Oh Lindsay, leave it to you to have a perp walk attended by a glitter-tossing entourage. Or, wait, maybe this was that crazy Brazilian religious nut who would shake her head and throw off drifts of solid gold dandruff. And then you’d be prison lovers, and then you’d be released and forget her but remember the name of her good coke contact. That would be so you.

Lindsay Lohan: what a mug! (Lolebrity)
Nicole Dobernig haz a flamewar! (raincoaster)
Lin Yu Chun cheated by plastic doll! (Shoeblogs)
Ransom note art (ManoloHome)
Truck that, chef! (ManoloFood)
Ask Auntie Plumcake (ManoloBig)
A lil drinkie-poo? (TeenyManolo)
I’m at a loss for a compost metaphor here (ManoloBrides)
A hem! (ManoloMen)
Elvis, now with 75% more Awesome (AgentBedhead)
Brad Pitt’s moneyballs (BusyBeeBlogger)
Taste the Gaga! (CeleBitchy)
Glamour model goes too far down the alphabet (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
Happy Restraining Order Day! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
There’s something about Zac (CojoStyle)
Inflation on the Jersey Shore (HaveUHeard)
Wino is regressing to fetal (INeedMyFix)
The Brostitute (Movieline)
Guess the guns (PopBytes)
Phoebie Cates is still 18 (SeriouslyOMG)

Crystal Renn, now 50% off

via Blackbook

Yes, through the magic of Photoshop, the world’s top plus-sized model is feeling less than 100% today. About thirty pounds less.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail:
I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

Mel Gibson blames the beaver (Lolebrity)
Bad morale (NSFW!) (raincoaster)
Gatsby wanted (Manolo)
Celebrity Dads: Bale vs Fiennes (TeenyManolo)
Ho’s! (ManoloFood)
Wedding wood (ManoloBrides)
Fatboy? Slim! (ManoloBig)
What’s black and white and red and green and pink and blue and… (ManoloHome)
The Anti-Gwyneth! (AgentBedhead)
Pink black and blue (AmyGrindhouse)
Least fortunate Dita von Teese thumbnail ever (BusyBeeBlogger)
Pattinson, NOBODY cares about the nipples (CeleBitchy)
Lohan SOBER! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
The vampire facelift! (CelebCosmeticSurgery)
JLoHew, GIVE ME THAT DRESS IMMEDIATELY (CelebritySmack)
Jada stepped into a goldfish (CojoStyle)
Green Lantern black and blue (DailyStab)
Pocket Aces (EvilBeet)
Pamela Anderson does not meet provincial standards (GabbyBabble)
Wounded cougar on the loose! (HaveUHeard)
Maroon 5′s misery (INeedMyFix)
Mourning the Hills (IBBB)
So what DID Courtney wear? (PopBytes)
Let us just pray they don’t become a couple (SeriouslyOMG)

I was going to make fun of this woman for dressing like a lesbionic Martian flapper, but then I looked at the fine print and realized HOLY SHIT THAT’S VERUSCHKA and she is entitled to dress any way she likes.

And now, to the technology-themed link roundup.

I’ll have you know that Jackie Chan has never seen that troll farm in his life! (Lolebrity)

Is it time to upgrade to a new Mom? (TeenyManolo)

A scientifically-enhanced Madonna choking a chicken (Shoeblogs)

YouTube needs to take the Cure (Manolobig)

Modern superfoods not so super if you ask me (Manolofood)

Weddings go Back to the Future (ManoloBride)

Everything New is Old again (ManoloHome)

A return to classics at Louis Vuitton (BusyBeeBlogger)

Dakota Fanning travels forward in time (CeleBitchy)

Elton John was on hold for 43 years (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Kim Kardashian, new and improved (DailyStab)

Modern medicine + Twitter = EW! (EvilBeet)

Kick Ass 2.0 (GabbyBabble)

Alien Couture Blazer of the Future (HaveUHeard)

Canadians are fashion-forward (INeedMyFix)

Internet to blogger, internet to blogger… (IBBB)

Boy George has been using that I Hate Megan Fox app (SeriouslyOMG)

Prince shuts down his website, probably issued press release via carrier pigeon (Bossip)

Trent Reznor is the Anti-Prince (AgentBedhead)

The science of Ozzy Osbourne (AllieIsWired)

Lilo’s twitter account needs an upgrade from “Horribly Tacky” (AmyGrindhouse)

America, at this precise moment in time (BestWeekEver)

Reznor 2.0 on the way (BricksAndStones)

Rachel Dratch 2.0 on the way (CelebrityBabyScoop)

The future of Old Dude tv (CelebrityBeehive)

Hate Megan Fox? There’s an app for that (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Don Johnson is a New Math genius! (CelebrityMound)

Mel Gibson vs technology (CelebritySmack)

Re-engineering the Calendar Girl (CelebVIPLounge)

Practical science for Lindsay Lohan (CelebSlam)

What, there are people who still use these? (CityRag)

Some icons are worth preserving (CrazyDays&Nights)

Thanks to modern science, we know what a catsuit made of Skittles looks like (Crunk&Disorderly)

Colin Farrell looks into the future (DListed)

Blogger vs Viacom (FourFour)

War of the Nerds (Gawker)

Alien Couture of the Future (GoFugYourself)

Cameron Diaz encounters Alien Growth Ray (HollywoodBackwash)

Amy Winehouse’s home-made cigarette carrier (HollywoodRag)

Scarjo channels Bardot (HollywoodTuna)

The Dion Spawn has been scanned (ImNotObsessed)

Tori Spelling has the very latest thing in wheels (JanetCharlton)

Ziyi Zhang transforms into sport star! (JustJared)

Fun with photos (of billionaires and their supermodels) (LaineyGossip)

The internet drives some people crazy (MaterialBitch)

If he could turn back time (MovieLine)

Vintage Bieber. No, that is not a typo (PerezHilton)

Test tube babydaddy Ronaldo (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Amy Winehouse returns to the past as she steps into the future (UKPopSugar)

New priestly crime not the same as the old priestly crime (WizbangPop)

Blogger of the moment, in the mo (PopBytes)

Medical science to solve mystery kidnapping (RadarOnline)

Cedric Diggory is a trending topic? (ASL)

It’s like America’s Funniest Home Videos, courtesy of YouTube (SquareEyes)

Download Sheryl Too Thin and Too Tan Crow (TenGossip)

Cameron Diaz uses ancient sexual technique (TheBosh)

Kate Moss’s better living through chemistry (TheSkinny)

All of YouTube vs Xtina (WorldofWonder)

Twitpics of the Rich and Famous (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

You know, if Gwen Stefani had worn those back when she was still single, she’d still BE single. I mean, Diesel Jeans I know. Depends Jeans are something for which the world as we know it is not yet ready.

Johnny Depp’s awesome flashbacks (Lolebrity)

raincoaster’s emo moment (raincoaster)

That’s his “rainbow face” (Shoeblogs)

Home Depot turns me on (ManoloHome)

Hatch your own commie pinko! (ManoloFood)

World’s ugliest majorette (ManoloBig)

Are you diva enough for this? (ManoloBrides)

New Dad State of Mind (TeenyManolo)

Ebony and Ivory and PDA (AgentBedhead)

From the iPad of the Artist Formerly Known As Sane… (AmyGrindhouse)

…and by “paps” we mean photographers, you pervs! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Elle MacPherson is horny, leathery (CeleBitchy)

The quiff of death (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Oh my god, it’s contagious! (DListed)

Pot informs kettle of its noiritude (HaveUHeard)

World’s craziest grampa (INeedMyFix)

Kelsey Grammer vs Sigmund Freud (SeriouslyOMG)

and now, your gossip link roundup:

Why do they love Michael Jackson so much? (TrueSlant)

Celine and Cher stare into the past and the future (Lolebrity)

Secret Love (TheManolo)

Love animals? (ManoloHome)

Who loves School Food? (ManoloFood)

Love to hate this type (ManoloBrides)

Leg-loving men (ManoloMen)

Which celebrity dad do you love best? (TeenyManolo)

Love the model, hate the artist? (ManoloBig)

Pigs in love (raincoaster)

Shirley loves Kristen (AgentBedhead)

Whitney Port’s new look: Love it or Leave it? (AmyGrindhouse)

Love floats? (BusyBeeBlogger)

Worst Guy in the World finds Love (CeleBitchy)

Everybody loves Susan Boyle (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

We all love to watch Paris go down (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Give your heavy metal patriotism some love (CelebritySmack)

Granny will love this (CojoStyle)

Gerard Butler speaks out about his secret love (DailyStab)

Don’t you love a good Lilo fight? (DListed)

Amy Winehouse, slave to love (EvilBeet)

Karl Lagerfeld’s advice on love’s little side-effects (FakeKarl)

Betty White loves LeBron and Cleveland (GabbyBabble)

Britney LOVES her coffee (GoFugYourself)

Rihanna shows the Look of Love (HaveUHeard)

Somebody’s in love with Matt Damon (INeedMyFix)

Mel Gibson loves four letter words (IBBB)

Men love Marisa Miller (JustJared)

Sending our love to Back to the Future: Happy 25th! (Movieline)

Love among the Vampires (UKPopSugar)

Everybody loves Liza! (PopBytes)

Nobody loves Stephen Fry’s new look (SeriouslyOMG)

Related articles by Zemanta

• Tom Jones: Chicken Thief (manolith.com)

Wow. Real life wins, for once.

[If you're a gossip blogger who'd rather be drinking than linking, drop me an email at raincoaster at gmail dot com. I'm offering an affordable new link outsourcing service.]

Elizabeth Taylor vs Plastic Grrl! (TrueSlant)

Gaga, Grounded (Lolebrity)

Zee Frenssssh! (TheManolo)

This has GOT to be some horrible Freudian metaphor (ManoloHome)

Terror in the Kitchen! (ManoloFood)

About that bottle of Scotch… (ManoloBig)

Buddy got back (problems)? (ManoloMen)

Hit the Target! (TeenyManolo)

Hamlet would not have married her (ManoloBrides)

Jonah, Hexed (AgentBedhead)

Robert Pattinson CARES about us! (AmyGrindhouse)

Amy Winehouse, drama queen? (BricksAndStones)

Clive Owen smells (BusyBeeBlogger)

OK! is a comedy magazine? (CeleBitchy)

The Bride of Wildenstein (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

We have a Gaga DOWN! Repeat: we have a Gaga DOWN! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

ONE LiLo is quite sufficient, thank you (CelebritySmack)

A dandy reason to hang out in cafes (OhTheScandal)

Suri’s tribal tattoos (CityRag)

Not all royals have British Teeth (CojoStyle)

Jimmy Buffet is pro-Margarita, anti-Oilspill (DailyStab)

Five bucks on Sarah Jessica Parker’s twins (DListed)

Daniel Radcliffe does not fancy the Bieber (EvilBeet)

You do NOT go up against Oprah, my friend. (GabbyBabble)

Maybe she could just use the eyeshadow on her legs? (GoFugYourself)

I suspect Gaga (HaveUHeard)

Prince Albert locked down (INeedMyFix)

I’m ok, Britney’s a nutbar? (PoorBritney)

The Hills are alive with the sound of recaps (IBBB)

Ke$ha <3 Star Trek (JustJared)

10 greatest Real Worlders (MovieLine)

George Michael goes Down Under to come out on top (PerezHilton)

RPatz seen with Banksy ex (UKPopSugar)

I think Madame Tussaud’s just “repurposed” the Delta Burke statue (PopBytes)

The man dates Katy Perry: he’s never SEEN those before (SeriouslyOMG)

And defy the fashion history of the last three years.

Normally, I’d say the Gladiator look is completely finito (and not a moment too soon), but for some reason I just can’t place I’m rather inclined to let this particular iteration go. No, wait; I’ve reconsidered. It must all come off right! now!

Hail our Capitalist Tool overlords! (TrueSlant)

Jay-Z is NOT amused (Lolebrity)

EVERYBODY POLKA!!! (TheManolo)

It runs in the family (TeenyManolo)

That does NOT say “cojones” (ManoloHome)

Balls! (ManoloBrides)

How. To. Wear. Shoes. (ManoloBig)

Hail our porn vampire overlords! (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan has a cunning plan… (AmyGrindhouse)

Sex and the City and the supporting cast (BusyBeeBlogger)

They sent them back to the volcano (CeleBitchy)

Fergie, Ghetto Duchess (CelebrityBeehive)

Nicole Kidman’s new shirt stuffers (CelebCosmeticSurgery)

Paula Abdul can’t count? Imagine! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

25 Cent (CelebritySmack)

Liza with a line! (DailyStab)

So THAT’s why Sonoma is popular for weekends away (DListed)

Hail our big-butted overlords! (Gawker)

Hail our Adderall-crazed overlord! (HaveUHeard)

Ol’ Googly Eyes and his Moll from Outer Space at a premiere (INeedMyFix)

Lindsay Lohan in Night Court! (IBBB)

Wait, someone put WRITERS on camera??? (MovieLine)

Jake Gyllenhaal whips out his big sword for the cameras (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

ZOMG Ginny is taller than Harry! (UKPopSugar)

Yes, it’s a special request Hump Day Hunk; normally we don’t take requests, but this was persuasively phrased and besides, we just like looking at Owen Wilson as often as humanly possible, so here. The nice suit and Keds look was invented for this man.

Tupac dodged a bullet…oh, wait. (Lolebrity)

It’s baaaaaack! (Manolo)

Ray Bradbury, interior decorator (ManoloHome)

Calling opinionated brides (ManoloBrides)

Suck it, Australia! (ManoloBig)

I hope they weren’t used! (TeenyManolo)

Manorexia’s poster boys (AgentBedhead)

Stop the presses: Tila Tequila is dumb???? (AllieIsWired)

Justin Bieber is black (AmyGrindhouse)

Stop the presses: Megan Fox is dumb???? (BricksAndStones)

John Travolta and Kelly Preston replace purse dogs with baby (BusyBeeBlogger)

Wait, Megan Fox really IS dumb (CeleBitchy)

The incredible, buoyant boobies! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

How today’s stars will age (MSNBC)

Dame Elizabeth: Cowboy boots, muumuu, and a king’s ransom in gems (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Stop the presses: Lindsay Lohan’s parole officer is dumb???? (CelebritySmack)

Stop the presses: Bristol Palin’s clients are dumb??? (CelebVIPLounge)

Six Degrees of STDs (CityRag)

Woody Allen’s threesome (CojoStyle)

We nose, NeNe! (Crunk&Disorderly)

Jennifer Aniston has rhinoplasty by photoshop (DailyStab)

Queen of the prom…in San Quentin, in about two months (DListed)

Don’t let her near the diamonds! (Lainey)

This man is my HERO! (EvilBeet)

Stop the presses: Eliza Dushku fans are dumb??? (GabbyBabble)

Stop the presses: Kennedys DRINK??? (Gawker)

Diaper jodhpurs are NEVER a good idea (GoFugYourself)

Red Carpet Slideshow (HaveUHeard)

Prince of Pers- oooooh, sorry, what was I saying? (INeedMyFix)

Hamlet was bulimic? (IBBB)

Ryan Gosling’s blue movie (JustJared)

Edgar Allan Poe’s had a little work done (LitelySalted)

Who you gonna call? (MovieLine)

Johnny Depp in your face! (PerezHilton)

Kylie is magic (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Robert Pattinson on Ellen??? (UKPopSugar)

Marion Cotillard has a sackful of mystery (PopBytes)

Lindsay will have to pull a Polanski (Radar)

Jake is trying to get my attention (SeriouslyOMG)

Ryan Reynolds wears the ugliest superhero costume of all time (TenGossip)

And, since you made it all the way to the bottom, you deserve some more Hump Day eye candy. Say hello to the future Mister raincoaster.

Sure, posing like that to support your national soccer team takes balls, but you just KNOW the one on the right is smugly thinking “You’re not supposed to put them in your shirt, Mister!”

Oh, but she didn’t make just one hip-hop album. Oh no, girls and boys: she made several albums!

Peaches marked down (guest post for CelebrityBeehive)
Maddox Jolie-Pitt has a message for youze (Lolebrity)
Crystal Renn’s a big bust (ManoloBig)
Celebrity Dad Faceoff (TeenyManolo)
Bookcase got back (ManoloHome)
Baby got ripped off (TheManolo)
Paris Hilton IS happy to see you (AmyGrindhouse)
Caftans and the Country pix (BusyBeeBlogger)
It’s ice princess vs ice princess in the smackdown of the century (CeleBitchy)
Gabriel Aubry is MINE!!! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
This used to be a fun house (CelebritySmack)
These are NOT the kind of darts I want to use on Gwyneth (CojoStyle)
But when is Kate Hudson getting a neck implant? (DailyStab)
The hardest-working pants in no-business (DListed)
Pratt wants to fist the world (EvilBeet)
Gwyneth: nothing but Goop (GabbyBabble)
Someone made a Solange purse (GoFugYourself)
Tim Gunn critiques superhero outfits (NPR)
Hugh Jackman, all wet (HaveUHeard)
LiLo is going up the river (INeedMyFix)
not-so-golden girls (IBBB)
Rihanna goes French (JustJared)
Ricky Martin vs Arizona (LitelySalted)
Blame Mister Rogers! (Movieline)
The Brady Bundchen (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
Let’s Play “Who’s More Famous?” (UKPopSugar)
Britney needs a hairvention (PopBytes)
Bret Michaels update (SeriouslyOMG)
Lindsay Lohan doesn’t have a disease? (Gawker)
Russell Crowe stabs Jon Bon Jovi in the back (ASL)
Nightmare on Kellan Street (TenGossip)