Just in case you’ve ever wondered what our ancestors saw in high-waisted pants, here’s Tom Jones to clarify, in eye-ripping orange.

and now, your gossip link roundup:

Why do they love Michael Jackson so much? (TrueSlant)

Celine and Cher stare into the past and the future (Lolebrity)

Secret Love (TheManolo)

Love animals? (ManoloHome)

Who loves School Food? (ManoloFood)

Love to hate this type (ManoloBrides)

Leg-loving men (ManoloMen)

Which celebrity dad do you love best? (TeenyManolo)

Love the model, hate the artist? (ManoloBig)

Pigs in love (raincoaster)

Shirley loves Kristen (AgentBedhead)

Whitney Port’s new look: Love it or Leave it? (AmyGrindhouse)

Love floats? (BusyBeeBlogger)

Worst Guy in the World finds Love (CeleBitchy)

Everybody loves Susan Boyle (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

We all love to watch Paris go down (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Give your heavy metal patriotism some love (CelebritySmack)

Granny will love this (CojoStyle)

Gerard Butler speaks out about his secret love (DailyStab)

Don’t you love a good Lilo fight? (DListed)

Amy Winehouse, slave to love (EvilBeet)

Karl Lagerfeld’s advice on love’s little side-effects (FakeKarl)

Betty White loves LeBron and Cleveland (GabbyBabble)

Britney LOVES her coffee (GoFugYourself)

Rihanna shows the Look of Love (HaveUHeard)

Somebody’s in love with Matt Damon (INeedMyFix)

Mel Gibson loves four letter words (IBBB)

Men love Marisa Miller (JustJared)

Sending our love to Back to the Future: Happy 25th! (Movieline)

Love among the Vampires (UKPopSugar)

Everybody loves Liza! (PopBytes)

Nobody loves Stephen Fry’s new look (SeriouslyOMG)

Related articles by Zemanta

• Tom Jones: Chicken Thief (manolith.com)

Wow. Real life wins, for once.

[If you're a gossip blogger who'd rather be drinking than linking, drop me an email at raincoaster at gmail dot com. I'm offering an affordable new link outsourcing service.]

Elizabeth Taylor vs Plastic Grrl! (TrueSlant)

Gaga, Grounded (Lolebrity)

Zee Frenssssh! (TheManolo)

This has GOT to be some horrible Freudian metaphor (ManoloHome)

Terror in the Kitchen! (ManoloFood)

About that bottle of Scotch… (ManoloBig)

Buddy got back (problems)? (ManoloMen)

Hit the Target! (TeenyManolo)

Hamlet would not have married her (ManoloBrides)

Jonah, Hexed (AgentBedhead)

Robert Pattinson CARES about us! (AmyGrindhouse)

Amy Winehouse, drama queen? (BricksAndStones)

Clive Owen smells (BusyBeeBlogger)

OK! is a comedy magazine? (CeleBitchy)

The Bride of Wildenstein (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

We have a Gaga DOWN! Repeat: we have a Gaga DOWN! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

ONE LiLo is quite sufficient, thank you (CelebritySmack)

A dandy reason to hang out in cafes (OhTheScandal)

Suri’s tribal tattoos (CityRag)

Not all royals have British Teeth (CojoStyle)

Jimmy Buffet is pro-Margarita, anti-Oilspill (DailyStab)

Five bucks on Sarah Jessica Parker’s twins (DListed)

Daniel Radcliffe does not fancy the Bieber (EvilBeet)

You do NOT go up against Oprah, my friend. (GabbyBabble)

Maybe she could just use the eyeshadow on her legs? (GoFugYourself)

I suspect Gaga (HaveUHeard)

Prince Albert locked down (INeedMyFix)

I’m ok, Britney’s a nutbar? (PoorBritney)

The Hills are alive with the sound of recaps (IBBB)

Ke$ha <3 Star Trek (JustJared)

10 greatest Real Worlders (MovieLine)

George Michael goes Down Under to come out on top (PerezHilton)

RPatz seen with Banksy ex (UKPopSugar)

I think Madame Tussaud’s just “repurposed” the Delta Burke statue (PopBytes)

The man dates Katy Perry: he’s never SEEN those before (SeriouslyOMG)

And defy the fashion history of the last three years.

Normally, I’d say the Gladiator look is completely finito (and not a moment too soon), but for some reason I just can’t place I’m rather inclined to let this particular iteration go. No, wait; I’ve reconsidered. It must all come off right! now!

Hail our Capitalist Tool overlords! (TrueSlant)

Jay-Z is NOT amused (Lolebrity)

EVERYBODY POLKA!!! (TheManolo)

It runs in the family (TeenyManolo)

That does NOT say “cojones” (ManoloHome)

Balls! (ManoloBrides)

How. To. Wear. Shoes. (ManoloBig)

Hail our porn vampire overlords! (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan has a cunning plan… (AmyGrindhouse)

Sex and the City and the supporting cast (BusyBeeBlogger)

They sent them back to the volcano (CeleBitchy)

Fergie, Ghetto Duchess (CelebrityBeehive)

Nicole Kidman’s new shirt stuffers (CelebCosmeticSurgery)

Paula Abdul can’t count? Imagine! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

25 Cent (CelebritySmack)

Liza with a line! (DailyStab)

So THAT’s why Sonoma is popular for weekends away (DListed)

Hail our big-butted overlords! (Gawker)

Hail our Adderall-crazed overlord! (HaveUHeard)

Ol’ Googly Eyes and his Moll from Outer Space at a premiere (INeedMyFix)

Lindsay Lohan in Night Court! (IBBB)

Wait, someone put WRITERS on camera??? (MovieLine)

Jake Gyllenhaal whips out his big sword for the cameras (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

ZOMG Ginny is taller than Harry! (UKPopSugar)

Yes, it’s a special request Hump Day Hunk; normally we don’t take requests, but this was persuasively phrased and besides, we just like looking at Owen Wilson as often as humanly possible, so here. The nice suit and Keds look was invented for this man.

Tupac dodged a bullet…oh, wait. (Lolebrity)

It’s baaaaaack! (Manolo)

Ray Bradbury, interior decorator (ManoloHome)

Calling opinionated brides (ManoloBrides)

Suck it, Australia! (ManoloBig)

I hope they weren’t used! (TeenyManolo)

Manorexia’s poster boys (AgentBedhead)

Stop the presses: Tila Tequila is dumb???? (AllieIsWired)

Justin Bieber is black (AmyGrindhouse)

Stop the presses: Megan Fox is dumb???? (BricksAndStones)

John Travolta and Kelly Preston replace purse dogs with baby (BusyBeeBlogger)

Wait, Megan Fox really IS dumb (CeleBitchy)

The incredible, buoyant boobies! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

How today’s stars will age (MSNBC)

Dame Elizabeth: Cowboy boots, muumuu, and a king’s ransom in gems (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Stop the presses: Lindsay Lohan’s parole officer is dumb???? (CelebritySmack)

Stop the presses: Bristol Palin’s clients are dumb??? (CelebVIPLounge)

Six Degrees of STDs (CityRag)

Woody Allen’s threesome (CojoStyle)

We nose, NeNe! (Crunk&Disorderly)

Jennifer Aniston has rhinoplasty by photoshop (DailyStab)

Queen of the prom…in San Quentin, in about two months (DListed)

Don’t let her near the diamonds! (Lainey)

This man is my HERO! (EvilBeet)

Stop the presses: Eliza Dushku fans are dumb??? (GabbyBabble)

Stop the presses: Kennedys DRINK??? (Gawker)

Diaper jodhpurs are NEVER a good idea (GoFugYourself)

Red Carpet Slideshow (HaveUHeard)

Prince of Pers- oooooh, sorry, what was I saying? (INeedMyFix)

Hamlet was bulimic? (IBBB)

Ryan Gosling’s blue movie (JustJared)

Edgar Allan Poe’s had a little work done (LitelySalted)

Who you gonna call? (MovieLine)

Johnny Depp in your face! (PerezHilton)

Kylie is magic (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Robert Pattinson on Ellen??? (UKPopSugar)

Marion Cotillard has a sackful of mystery (PopBytes)

Lindsay will have to pull a Polanski (Radar)

Jake is trying to get my attention (SeriouslyOMG)

Ryan Reynolds wears the ugliest superhero costume of all time (TenGossip)

And, since you made it all the way to the bottom, you deserve some more Hump Day eye candy. Say hello to the future Mister raincoaster.

Sure, posing like that to support your national soccer team takes balls, but you just KNOW the one on the right is smugly thinking “You’re not supposed to put them in your shirt, Mister!”

It’s Leslie Hall. Don’t question, just hit Play.

Oh, but she didn’t make just one hip-hop album. Oh no, girls and boys: she made several albums!

Peaches marked down (guest post for CelebrityBeehive)
Maddox Jolie-Pitt has a message for youze (Lolebrity)
Crystal Renn’s a big bust (ManoloBig)
Celebrity Dad Faceoff (TeenyManolo)
Bookcase got back (ManoloHome)
Baby got ripped off (TheManolo)
Paris Hilton IS happy to see you (AmyGrindhouse)
Caftans and the Country pix (BusyBeeBlogger)
It’s ice princess vs ice princess in the smackdown of the century (CeleBitchy)
Gabriel Aubry is MINE!!! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
This used to be a fun house (CelebritySmack)
These are NOT the kind of darts I want to use on Gwyneth (CojoStyle)
But when is Kate Hudson getting a neck implant? (DailyStab)
The hardest-working pants in no-business (DListed)
Pratt wants to fist the world (EvilBeet)
Gwyneth: nothing but Goop (GabbyBabble)
Someone made a Solange purse (GoFugYourself)
Tim Gunn critiques superhero outfits (NPR)
Hugh Jackman, all wet (HaveUHeard)
LiLo is going up the river (INeedMyFix)
not-so-golden girls (IBBB)
Rihanna goes French (JustJared)
Ricky Martin vs Arizona (LitelySalted)
Blame Mister Rogers! (Movieline)
The Brady Bundchen (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
Let’s Play “Who’s More Famous?” (UKPopSugar)
Britney needs a hairvention (PopBytes)
Bret Michaels update (SeriouslyOMG)
Lindsay Lohan doesn’t have a disease? (Gawker)
Russell Crowe stabs Jon Bon Jovi in the back (ASL)
Nightmare on Kellan Street (TenGossip)

Or maybe just the nearest heavenly body?

Patrick Kim McDermott’s Return from Xanadu (TrueSlant)

Robert Downey Junior’s Rehab Blues (Lolebrity)

Who is dating Kate Hudson? (Dealbreaker)

Figwit 2.0 (AgentBedhead)

Lady Gaga is okay with it (AllieIsWired)

Heidi, ho? (AmyGrindhouse)

Baby, Daddy (BusyBeeBlogger)

The shoes of a style icon (CeleBitchy)

Fanorexia kills (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Celebrity Foot Abuse! (CelebritySmack)

Lend Me a Seeing Eye Dog say the Olsen Twins (DailyStab)

Save the society columnist! (Gawker)

Is! Nothing! Sacred! (DListed)

Straight men skip this post (EvilBeet)

Tia Carrere is on the market! (GabbyBabble)

Nic Cage wigs out (GoFugYourself)

Erin Andrews vs the Trolls (HaveUHeard)

Channing Tatum married a necrophiliac (INeedMyFix)

The REAL secret of American Idol (IBBB)

St. Brangelina in Bosnia (JustJared)

At last, a story we can ALL enjoy (LitelySalted)

The English Patient didn’t fly THAT airline (Movieline)

Jennifer Hudson now 30% off (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

I wouldn’t touch that bunny’s eggs with a ten foot pole (UKPopSugar)

Craig Ferguson’s robot skeleton sidekick (SeriouslyOMG)

Okay gang, what’s got Courtney Love in such a puzzlement? Seriously, what on Planet Earth hasn’t she seen before? Put your guesses in the comments section; best caption wins fabulous, imaginary prizes, as always.

We’ll announce the winner of last week’s Norwegian Curling Pants challenge tomorrow, so you’ve got a few hours left to enter.