This is not actually Bruges, this is Paris, and the arrival of Clemence Poesie at the Balenciaga show. I know nobody here knows who she is, but she was awesome in the terrific, tragicomic Colin Farrell film In Bruges and should be thought of as the Euro Claire Danes, only without the homewrecking part. And as these pictures show, she’s mastered the “innocent schoolgirl” look, at a cost of no more than, say, $15,000 or so. I may be twice her age, but I’d like to think for that price I could look like an innocent French schoolgirl, too.

PS: I’m stealing the hat! That’s why in most of the shots from that day she’s holding it on tightly; I’m just out of frame, with one of those ACME pincers-on-tongs contraptions I use when out stealing hats from celebrities.

Remember Ivana Trump? She once said, “I don’t intend to look a day over thirty, but it’s going to cost The Donald a lot of money!” Let’s see how she succeeded at that:

So, on the one hand: Honey, No. On the other hand, Respect; she really hasn’t changed a bit!

1987. Yes, 1987.

“Fresh.” I meant, “fresh.” Ha, I didn’t know you could count that fast on your fingers, experienced as you are through years of following celebrity pregnancies.

Well, freck that.

Working till dawn and need a little pick-me-up? You could do worse than a Tequila Sunrise. Or maybe you couldn’t?

Tequila is really like a choose-your-own-adventure novel except everyone has the same ending:

Emotionally distraught-> drinking in large quantities sounds like a good idea -> you are so not getting back together with this person so stop trying -> puke.

You’re barely legal -> cheap shots at the bar provided by strangers -> dancing on said bar -> puke.

Where was I? For some reason really fuzzy this morning…

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Burton vs McQueen (TeenyManolo)

Paris Hilton, Global Village Idiot (Websters)

Gamer on! (TenGossip)

Affleck amok! (ASL)

Channing Tatum Fighting! (JustJared)

A minute Mike Myers moment (SeriouslyOMG)

Kate Winslet vs the Daily Mail (INO)

Holy cow (WizbangPop)

Kate Moss needs help finding a man (UKPopSugar)

Jack Black’s on-set orgy (GetLippy)

Rihanna, pixillated (HolyMoly)

Karl Lagerfeld on Twitter (FakeKarl)

anal bleaching is the new Kazakhstan? (Movieline)

Megan Fox is, like, smart (EvilBeet)

Intern George’s Fug cocktail (GoFugYourself)

Free Chocolate (DailyStab)

Stark Trek trailer (AgentBedhead)

The Oprah riots, dissected (AmyGrindhouse)

Katy Perry is on fiyah! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Porn star or network anchor quiz (Gawker)

What to do when you spy another woman on the other side of the room who spends at least as much money on collagen injections as you do?  Surely this has to be far more annoying than turning up in the same dress as someone else.

Probably the most obscure link challenge ever, barring the one CelebritySmack did entirely in pictures. Couldn’t touch that one! Our theme: the Cthulhu Mythos literary works of the late Howard Phillips Lovecraft, y’all!

Cthluhupalooza is coming! Hang on to your sanity! (Cthulhupalooza)

Jennifer Aniston’s uterus to remain in mint condition (CelebWarship)

Blogging the unmentionable John Malkovich (AgentBedhead)

Jewel puts the “try” in Country Music (CeleBitchy)

IT’S INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY, BITCHES! (Capslockday)

Acolyte robes for your Junior Star Chamber member (Pregotastic)

When the Great Old Ones fight, your vintage sitcoms suffer (Defamer)

Dear Gary Busey, it’s “freebasing” not “debasing” (DailyStab)

Hollywood stars are swimming in mortality soup (CelebritySmack)

Karl Lagerfeld sells his soul (FakeKarl)

Katie Holmes wears the Fangs of Xenu (DListed)

Paris Hilton buys a used den of iniquity (HollywoodRag)

Sarah Jessica Parker Dexter Ward has a portrait in her attic that’s getting younger and sexier (IDLYITW)

The Ancient One speaks! (EvilBeet)

The Statement of Harriet Carter (IBBB)

The very batrachian Beckham can catch flies up to 15 feet away! (JustJared)

Karl still Roves. Where are the villagers with pitchforks? (Radar)

Snakes on a Dame! (CandyKirby)

The Necronomicon of celebrity makeovers (OhNoTheyDidnt)

Grace Jones is from another planet, where they don’t have physics or gravity (OMGBlog) (NentirelySFW)

So just have some raspberry wine and pretend to enjoy it.

Hey, drinking makes you lose weight! (CandyKirby)

Madonna dresses down for Halloween (CelebritySmack)

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Aniston living la vida rerun (CelebritySmack)

Un-Leded Zeppelin (GabbyBabble)

Sarah Silverman rolled Mary Tyler Moore for her outfit (EvilBeet)

Generation Xer is the sexiest man in the world! (DailyStab)

All the hot men are “of a certain age” (UKPopSugar)

Baby Boomer turning from sexiest man in the world to most surprised-looking woman? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Ringo Starr is bigger than Jesus? (CeleBitchy)

Xtina unleashes Pucci power! (DListed)

Cloris Leachman shows off the moves she learned from Shirley Temple (Defamer)

Jon Bon Jovi once again relevant (IBBB)

The Sarah is a huge fan of self-made millionaire The Ivana (Mollygood)

Twiggy is just naturally thin (Websters)

Oprah puts Tom Cruise’s foot in her mouth (AgentBedhead)

Air Sex CSI? (CandyKirby)

The secret shame of Michael Phelps (DListed)

Phoebie Price wins one! (CeleBitchy)

Shanna Moakler speaks out about the plane crash (CelebritySmack)

Meet the LizardMan! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The award for best pop video of all time goes to… (DailyStab)

Richest Congressmen (Jossip)

Does Simon Cowell make you randy, baby? (ImNotObsessed)

Top five Emmy quotes (PopSugar)

Gwyneth Paltrow cooks all her own food, employs macrobiotic chef presumably just to keep him off welfare (JustJared)

Josh Groban: laughingstock or genius? (Defamer)

Anderson Cooper’s secret drag show cabaret shame (Gawker)

ZOMG Perez Hilton has a ghostwriter??? (EvilBeet)

The Jamie Lynn Spears porn investigation is NOT what you think (CelebrityBabyScoop)

VOTE CLORIS!!!!! (SeriouslyOMG)

Jeremy Piven bites the hand that feeds (GabbyBabble)

The David Beckham Beefcake Calendar for 2009! (PopBytes)

It was THAT kind of day.

Charo needz ur luv (Lolebrity)

The Bride of Wildenstein walks among us! (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindsay Lohan can’t walk, but she sure can throw a punch! (IBBB)

Mariah’s doggy don’t (DListed)

George Takei’s wedding picture (Websters)

It’s the Beverly Hills Chihuahua premiere, bitch (BWE)

Blaaaaaaake, Incarcerated, turns down freedom (CeleBitchy)

Brad Pitt will haXXor ur az, n00b! (Reuters)

It’s Brangelina’s world. We just blog in it (DailyStab)

Will Smith still down with Xenu (HuffPo)

Even Sienna Miller’s fans hate her (AgentBedhead)

Amy Poehler leaving SNL (CelebritySmack)

Tilda Swinton’s homelife remarkably deprived (HolyMoly)

Crusty, upper-clawss Brit Madonna may perhaps not be a Republican (Defamer)

The Sarah Palin baby name generator! (PolitTskTskTsk)

Madonna sez: how was what? (CandyKirby)

Kevin Federline celebrates his sons’ birthdays in style. In absentia (Mollygood)

Is Britney taking candy from strangers? (JustJared)

Kief is the Chief (UKPopSugar)