Ayyyy!

You need something nourishing if you’re going to pull an all-nighter, and the midnight cocktail has nutritious Stout, full of sustaining carbs!

Michael Jackson “his” Blanket (YBF)

Bai Ling and Mickey Rourke, king and queen of Hell Prom Night (Websters)

Dame Edna for MAC cosmetics, NO REALLY (WOWReport)

Paula Abdul changes it up (CityRag)

Oprah was a bad girl? Are you on crack? (CeleBitchy)

How to make it onto American Idol in 20 easy steps (BWE)

Is this the next Ambassador to the Court of St. James? (FakeKarl)

The Hudson River Miracle (Gawker)

The Hero of the Hudson (EvilBeet)

Christmas lives forever in the heart of Taylor Momsen (JustJared)

Jade Goody has never looked better (HollywoodTuna)

The BAFTAS don’t care about British people! (Defamer)

Katie Holmes is on fiyah! (CandyKirby)

Sienna Miller shops from someone else’s cart (Lainey)

Britney’s Fantasy Island discovered, mapped (GOTA)

Patrick Swayze is ON! (SeriouslyOMG)

Stars as Big Girls (PopBytes)

Pink never drops them, she just recycles them (POTP)

Lily Allen is VERY close to her brother (BFYL)

Travesty Alert: Karate Kid remake (IBBB)

The hottest accessory in Hollywood (CelebritySmack)

Karl does not care about your demode recession woes (HolyMoly)

Fake Chanel, real useful (Cvxn)

Anne Hathaway has found her new liar (AmyGrindhouse)

Verne Troyer on the rampage! (TheLondonBlog)

How to start a cult (AgentBedhead)

The Happy Birthday Kate Moss quiz (UKPopSugar)

Hey, nothing sets you up right in the morning like a steamed seasonal beverage, particularly one high in Vitamin C and natural sugars, and most particularly after an evening of Hot Tom and Jerry. Not that I would know anything about that.

Hey Santa, say hi to your mother for me (KnockedUpCelebs)

and just like that, a Himbo commits career suicide (AgentBedhead)

The victim statement of Miss Paris Hilton (AmyGrindhouse)

SamRo go to Hospital, yo (Bricks and Stones)

The Olsen Twins are different from you and me (CeleBitchy)

Amy Winehouse airs out the girls (CelebWarship)

The 12 Days of Drunk Celebrities (Cityrag)

The Bond Girl Murder (CelebritySmack)

Your rhetorical Michael Jackson question of the year (DailyStab)

Zac Efron, the fruity Christmas keepsake (Defamer)

John Mayer hates puppies (DListed)

A cultural history of the Star Wars Holiday Special (VanityFair)

Most scandalous celebs of 2008 (UKPopSugar)

Most inspirational animal of 2008 (EvilBeet)

Christmas Brangelina collectibles (HolyCandy)

Lily Allen: coming soon to a preschool near you (ImNotObsessed)

Katie Holmes stands up her husband (JustJared)

Peaches Geldof does same (HolyMoly)

Everyone complains about the weather but nobody does anything about it (IBBB)

It’s Bai Ling’s world, we just live in it (Websters)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Classic Edition (TeenyManolo)

OH DEAR GOD THERE’S A BAI LING SEX TAPE! (CandyKirby)

Putting the “science” in “Scientology” (AgentBedhead)

On the cover of the Rolling Stone (DailyStab)

George Hamilton’s Oedipal upbringing (CelebritySmack)

Paris Hilton attempts to become Princess Paris (CeleBitchy)

Chris Martin does NOT want to hear about his wife’s exes! (HolyMoly)

Fun with Spam (IBBB)

Celebrity Week Quiz (UKPopSugar)

10 greatest Halloween specials of all time (Defamer)

Katy Perry kissed a floor (SeriouslyOMG)

American Idol can drive you to drink (Websters)

A horse broke up Madonna’s marriage (CelebSlam)

Has John McCain stolen your music? (CelebrityDirt)

The Sarah Palin gallery (Mollygood)

It’s that kind of day.

The True North, strong and free to look at posters for Kevin Smith films (AgentBedhead)

The VMA’s: from the ridiculous to…the ridiculous (CelebritySmack)

Hilary Swank to swell (DailyStab)

Take a walk down WTF lane with Nicholas Cage (Defamer)

Bai Ling admits her head is just a place to put wigs (CandyKirby)

I’m Bringing PrivacyWatches Back! (IBBB)

That poor horse should fire her agent (UKPopSugar)

So, just how fast DOES Sarah Palin type? (Radar)

Akon’s fans achin’ (SeriouslyOMG)

Miley Cyrus buys herself a pimpmobile (Websters)

William is Hurt-ing for an intervention (CeleBitchy)

Amy Winehouse loves J— D——, who was big in the 80’s (DListed)

That’s why it’s called VICE president, silly! (Bossip)

Q: I get invited to many parties but never end up going because all that high falutin’ hoity-toity dress code mumbo-jumbo confuses me. What’s the difference between “smart casual”, “semi-formal” and “formal”? Please help me improve my social life.

A: To keep it simple, I will rely on some highly effective visual aids.  A bathing costume alone would be construed as “smut casual”. But add some accessories, pockets and boots and presto, it’s “smart casual”!  Now, “semi-formal” is a little bit more upmarket and usually there’s a dress involved.  It can be short or long or short with a little bit if long thrown in.

Finally, “formal” requires something a little more elegant like a full-length gown and some fancy jewellery.  Remember to keep things classy by covering those legs from hip to ankle. Now that you are fully conversant with the aforementioned terms, you may sally forth and resume your hob-nobbing with utmost confidence! 

Paris Hilton prefers granny panties (Websters)

Mischa Barton doesn’t have enough body fat for that much cellulite! (SeriouslyOMG)

Celebrities send a message to Tom Cruise (JustJared)

ScarJo and RyRey are engaged (GabbyBabble)

Nine Inch Nails gives away their entire album for free (AgentBedhead)

Gary Dourdan was wearing Lindsay Lohan’s coke pants (Defamer)

TomCruise.com does not fail to bring the kray-zee! (Gawker)

Britney to make special guest appearance in court (ImNotObsessed)

Gwyneth Paltrow finds her son disturbing (DailyStab)

Lawn Gyland sets the bar high: Dina Lohan is Mother of the Year (CandyKirby)

Stripper-portraying “actress” Lindsay Lohan to stretch self again on Ugly Betty (POTP)

The Jennifer Aniston love machine lays waste to Hollywood, if you believe her PR (Mollygood)

Simon Cowell may not be all menthol-flavoured sweetness and light (ICYDK)

Jessica Simpson’s boobaerobics (CityRag)

They shot the wrong one: Heidi lives! (IBBB)

Celebs at the Kentucky Derby (HollywoodRag)

God cannot kill Bai Ling! (DListed)

Nicole Richie not exactly prepared for this whole “motherhood” thing (CeleBitchy)

With a name like “Peaches” what are the odds she’d turn out boring? (CelebritySmack)

Pete’s in the pokey (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse is a wigger (Yeeeeah)

Wigger, please. Benji Madden’s blackface birthday (ImNotObsessed)

Top Ten most hated people on the internet (Radar)

Stars in their eyes, parole in their futures: top 25 child stars (Defamer)

Nobody puts Swayze in the corner (CeleBitchy)

Tom Cruise’s Village People connection (HollywoodOffender)

Naomi Campbell is black, beautiful, bitchy, and banned (TheBlemish)

Bai Ling is Grand Fug Champion, 2008 (GoFugYourself)

War of the Worlds 2 starring John Travolta and not at all insane Tom Cruise (CelebritySmack)

Christina Aguilera’s peeled pool party profanity (GenosWorld)

Jessica Simpson finds her dream man (Websters)

The inexorable return of Corey Haim (SeriouslyOMG)

90210 2.0 (CircusHour)

I Ken Lee: a YouTube superstar is born (TheManolo)

Brian Atene: a YouTube superstar returns (YouTube)

Kate Beckinsale’s Kiefer Sutherland fantasy (DailyStab)

David Beckham has been a bad, bad boy (JustJared)

The Office is TV with a heart? (Defamer)

Barack in drag! (Gawker)

Liveblogging Battlestar Galactica premiere (io9)

Sonny Bono died for your sins (AgentBedhead)

Perez Hilton is a big, fat truth-teller? (PerezHilton)

Elvis lives! (WebstersIsMyBitch)

YOU don’t know medical marijuana! TOM CRUISE DOES! (Celebitchy)

Snoop Dogg has apparently been sampling the Tom Cruise Purple (Bossip)

Ben Affleck rear-ended! (DailyStab)

Everything Matt Damon knows he learned from his mom (Popsugar)

Dress your children in Uggs and belly shirts (CircusHour)

LOST love re-discovered (FemaleFirst)

Hollywood’s gropiest! (Starpulse)

Royals a-go-go at Mahiki (Lainey)

After all this, they’d BETTER be getting married (ASocialitesLife)

Keanu brings the fierce, Minnie Driver brings the funbags (ImNotObsessed)

Fug-off championship round (GoFugYourself)

Chosen One martyred! (Star)

Mariah Carey may have slightly diva-iss tendencies. Who knew? (DListed)