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Did someone say “Boo Boo?”

Honey Boo Boo Chile

Honey Boo Boo Chile

“SERIOUS INJURIES ONLY” that must be one hell of a Boo Boo! The outfit itself looks like a Bob Mackie-designed menstrual pad from the Whore of Babylon’s laundry bin.

Miss Universe spreads out

Miss Venezuela spreads her wings

Miss Venezuela spreads her wings

Apparently, they’re taking the pageant name literally now. Here is Miss Venezuela in her National Costume…apparently Wales is now a part of Venezuela? This photo was snapped just before the now-infamous altercation with emcee Harry Potter.

The Bad Fairy

Truly hath the poet and wise man said that no royal wedding, christening, or restraining order hearing is complete without a Bad Fairy. Given the charmed lives led by heir to the British throne and his intended bride, and the fact that his Great-Aunt Margaret is dead, there is no particularly obvious candidate for the office. We in the Manolosphere would like to present our own official candidate for this office:

Tara “I’m a drug addict, not a pedophile” Palmer-Tomkinson.

Co-starring with Mickey Rourke in The Boxer?

Co-starring with Mickey Rourke in The Boxer?

Cocaine is a helluva drug, people, and with an $800 dollar a day habit it doesn’t matter how many nose jobs you throw at it; you’re essentially throwing good money after bad cartilage. Tara, the woman once rumoured to have taken Prince William’s virginity, is invited to the wedding, but wants to get her nose done first. At this point, however, it becomes a Michael Jackson situation: there needs to be something there to work on in the first place.

Let’s toast Tara’s heart’s desire with your choice of a Mad Fairy cocktail or a Donkey’s Nob (made with Coke, of course).

And some gossip links:

Rebecca Black is SO JEALOUS of this woman (raincoaster)

Hugh Jass has nothing on this guy (Lolebrity)

Karl Lagerfeld, now *I* want to kill you (Ayyyy)

Vodka: is there anything it can’t do? (Manolofood)

The Anti-Gwyneth makes a mean Monte Cristo (AgentBedhead)

I’d cut off her head for that hat (BusyBeeBlogger)

There was an Octomom who lived in a shoe(box)... (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Did anyone see Perez Hilton or Michael Lohan at the scene of the crime? (CelebritySmack)

Princess Margaret is dead, so who will be the bad fairy? (CelebVIPLounge)

Kim Kardashian, Turkey, these things write themselves (DailyStab)

Courtney Cox is no Friend! (EarSucker)

Rebecca Blacklash! (FitFabCeleb)

PETA will get her! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Who harshes on Robin Sweetest Man In Showbiz Williams and lives???? (HaveUHeard)

Planet Earth takes Lady Gaga DOWN! (HollywoodHiccups)

Tinkerbell’s new rival (INeedMyFix)

Fix! Fix! The fix is in at People! (MathewGuiver)

Old Britney vs New Britney (PoorBritney)

 

Monday Mocha Links

Stars Come Out To Support Amy Adams at her Baby Shower!

Looks like SOMEBODY got a little too close to their Origami Latte this morning!

Peaches rotten, dropped (TS)

Katy Perry, Cthulhu Pornstar! (Lol)

Is school for fools? (YBF)

Axl hates bottle service (SOMG)

Situation: Buttaface (PB)

Robert Tophattinson (UKPS)

The not-so-young and restless (PITNB)

Miley sees dead people (LS)

Vancouver just got prettier (JJ)

Britney stole Harold Ramis’ old glasses (INMF)

Gerard Butler goes fishing (HUH)

Ellen Pompeo is HUUUUGE (GB)

Miss California, deadbeat (G)

LeAnn Rimes hates babies (EB)

Kim Kardashian is a pimp (DL)

Katy Perry isn’t just into girls (HM)

Dennis Hopper has always been big (DD)

Susan Boyle’s got a new crib (DS)

Shoepants? Pantshoes? (CD)

Lilo stamps out drugs! (CR)

How to stuff a wild bikini (CS)

Russell Simmons, caped crusader? (CM)

Bullock is back, bitches! (CDL)

At least they’re off the Dead Kennedy kick (CB)

Boy George has seen Gaga’s gagas (BBB)

Shakira needs help! (AG)

Lilo, how low can you go? (AIW)

Monica Belluci, you’re no Demi Moore (AB)

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Polymorphous Fabulosity

Now is the time at Ayyyy when we dance!

Specifically, we dance to spunky Aussie sensation Tina Arena‘s “Now I Can Dance” video, which features a dazzling parade of quirky fabulosity culminating in a special guest appearance by someone who is the very embodiment of quirky fabulosity, and who I bet you didn’t know could play guitar like that, didja?

Now I Can Dance

Tina Arena

So I hope this finds you well
Sun is shining down eastern valley ways
There’s some news I need to tell you
Give my Mother a kiss
Tell her I’m ok
I recall her words
“If it’s too easy
It never lasts
I have compromised
But I’m finally free of the past
Now I can dance
Clouds have all disappeared
Freedom
I hold so dear
Cause nobody knows me here
Though I can only imagine the sadness
In your eyes
Please understand
Now I can dance
All alone the other night
I came to realise we’d be friends for life
It was always meant to be
For some people the heavens can get it so right
Like an angel you see
You have graciously offered a hand
You’d be so proud of me
Now I’m finally taking a stand
Now I can dance
Clouds have all disappeared
Freedom
I hope so dear
Cause nobody knows me here
Though I can only imagine the sadness
In your eyes
Please understand
Now I can dance
Now I can dance
Now I can dance
Clouds have all disappeared
Freedom
I hope so dear
Cause nobody knows me here
Though I can only imagine the sadness
you eyes
Please understand
Now I can dance
Though I can only imagine the sadness
In your eyes
Please understand
Now I can dance
So I hope this finds you well
Sun is shining down eastern valley ways
So good
Be free
Can dance and laugh and just be me
So good
Be free
The clouds above have disappeared

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Which Universe?

We are big believers in observing tradition here at Ayyyy.com; the joyous winter holidays, the flirtatious rites of Spring, crisp walks in the Autumn, and of course, the annual ritual of laughing at the ridonkulous outfits worn by Miss Universe contestants.

Miss Germany Missed by a Mile

I think someone had better explain to literal-minded Miss Germany what is meant by “foundation garments.”

Miss Phillipines better get that back to Imelda before she knows it’s gone

Light-fingered Miss Phillipines had better get that back to the Imelda statue at Madame Tussaud’s before they find out it’s missing.

Miss Cayman Islands gets a hand

Miss Cayman Islands leads the crowd in a rousing chorus of “Hands Up.”

Blame Miss Canada

For this, we have to Blame (Miss) Canada. Sweetie, where’s your pride: those aren’t even Fluevogs!

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Bombay Sapphire Links

I’m on what I call the Diva Diet: I don’t eat fattening food or drink alcohol unless someone else pays for it. That way, it has no calories! And most particularly, a Sapphire Collins has even fewer, because every fool knows bubbles are calorie-free!

Link Challenge: Booze!

Megan Fox was sotally tober when she said that (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse boozed (AmyGrindhouse)

Brooke Shields defends the Paladin of Pisco, her Saviour of Sake, her Kamikaze Knight (BusyBeeBlogger)

Octomom isn’t drunk, just crazy (CeleBitchy)

Has Meghan McCain gotten into Mom’s pillbox? (NYDN)

Boy George’s sobering good looks (CelebritySmack)

Lady Gaga, straight up (BST)

STOP THE PRESSES VICTORIA BECKHAM IN FLATS (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Emmy Rossum pulled over, apparently just in time (CelebuWreck)

This video is psychoactive (Crunk+Disorderly)

LiLo to sober up? (DailyStab)

Ho, Ho, Ho, somebody got into the leftover eggnog (Gawker)

Is that a mickey in your pocket or are you just Come On, Get Happy to see me? (DListed)

Bennifer 2.0 on the rocks? (EvilBeet)

George Clooney is a tall drink of … where was I? (INO)

A sobering thought for Brooke Hogan (IBBB)

Dear Miss California, have a cocktail and calm down (JustJared)

Confucius sez just because there is vodka in the Green Room, doesn’t mean you have to drink it (PerezHilton)

Tarantino transvestites, tipples (FAB)

Medical emergency: blogger needs cocktail STAT! (Websters)

Is anyone sober on Twitter? (SeriouslyOMG)

Adam Lambert’s fans are drunk on his love (TenGossip)

Shitney Beers is the fiercest hillbilly trannie! (OMG)

Some day my jock will come

I am the fairest of them all

Some day we’ll meet again
And away to his beautifully restored beachside mansion we’ll go
To be happy forever I know!

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