Ayyyy!

So this is how it’s gonna be, huh Jennifer?

Well FINE. You just BE that way. Trotting around looking all normal and well-adjusted with your normal and well-adjusted baby THAT YOU DIDN’T EVEN BUY! How do you think that makes us, the celebrity bloggers of the universe, feel? What about OUR needs or do we just not count anymore? It’s bad enough you and your stupid wholesome dimples brought Ben Affleck back from the booty-biting dark side, but you had to pass it on to another generation with that robo-cute baby.
Oh, and don’t get me STARTED on the naming. Violet? VIOLET? Would it have KILLED you to name her oh, I don’t know, like Rubber Rose Schenectady or Pinkwilly Grace?  GOD.  Some people can be SO selfish.

Knut the Polar Bear is a fanged, clawed psychopath. O RLY? (DailyMail)

Perez Hilton forms a foundation for premature babies. Awwww. (TeenyManolo)

Simon Cowell is a LOT friendlier than we thought (EvilBeet)

Kathleen Turner is STILL big. It’s the romcoms that got small! (AgentBedhead)

Ben Affleck has still got it, but alas is sharing it with Jennifer Garner (DailyStab)

Is Angelina Jolie pregnant with twins? (X17)

Tori Spelling is an unstoppable baby-making machine (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse is in rehab. Check back every ten minutes for updates, though (I’mNotObsessed)

Britney Spears tries to pick out some new children (US)

Clay Aiken haiku (Mollygood)

Star Jones makes sense? Wha??? (HuffPo)

False gods of celebrityhood (Cityrag)

Agent99 lives! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Steve Buscemi 2.0 (Websters)

Drug dealer to the stars selling more than weed (Defamer)

Doris Lessing, blogger-h8er, Nobel Laureate, feels sorry for chick-lit stars (Gawker)

John Travolta is a klass act (CelebritySmack)

Johnny Depp still believes in Santa! (AgentBedhead)

Ashton Kutcher IS Santa (raincoaster)

Get into Mel Gibson’s pants, make somebody’s dreams come true (Defamer)

Party with Michael Jackson (CelebSlam)

Tony Parker is suing, not screwing (CelebritySmack)

Kiefer Christmasing in jail (CityRag)

Borat and AliG killed! (DailyStab)

Jamie-Lynn Spears has the Facts of Life going for her! (CelebrityMound)

Jamie-Lynn is afraid of Britney’s temper (IDLYITW)

Shane McGowan, who Pete Doherty wants to be when he grows up (Dlisted)

Why you should have heard of Shane McGowan (YouTube)

Oprah oppressing Obama! (EvilBeet)

Rupert Everett lays the smackdown on Jodie Foster, may need UN protection (GabbyBabble)

Lily Allen, her smokes, her pregnancy, and her new tv show (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Cutest Celebuspawn of 2007 (GoFugYourself)

Zac Efron wigs out (HolyCandy)

Britney Spears flashing figurine (PopOnThePop)

On the Fifth Day of Britmas… (DoodleWhore)

Carleton scores a porn star! All the ladies love a man with smooth moves (CeleBitchy)

The ongoing saga of PerezHilton vs YouTube; advantage: Perez (PerezHilton)

Brangelina on a bike and a trike (INF)

Jen vs Angie onstage! (ImNotObsessed)

Naomi Campbell IS Brenda Starr! (Mollygood)

Amy Winehouse primps. Can’t fault the girl for trying (TheMeatScale)

Scarlett Johannson channels Anna Nicole Smith (Websters)

Britney Spears give her kids toxic playthings of death (WendyWayrad)

Paris Hilton’s new movie has Oscar buzz. I kid! (Yeeeeah)

RIP, Big Martha (FromScratch)

What the stars are mouthing silently (TheLiteraryPursuit)

Today in Job Satisfaction News: Paris Hilton imitator sick of Paris Hilton too! (AgentBedhead)

Mike Tyson does the pokey hokey-pokey. You put your right cross in, you take your right cross out… (GabbyBabble)

Heidi Montag cute, stacked, delusional (FatbackAndCollards)

Dennis Quaid’s babies overdosed! (HolyCandy)

Pamela Anderson is exquisite, corpse-like, strangely tentacled (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Kate Moss stays classy, threatens Sienna Miller at a drunken party (FemaleFirst)

Ben- congratulates -Nnifer on her pregnancy (CelebritySmack)

Munchkins get their star (Popbytes)

Interspecies compassion (CityRag)

Lachey is back, biotches! (DailyStab)

Beyonce’s booty is back (GoFugYourself)

Johnny Depp sings the hits of the Seventies: the Eighteen-Seventies! (EvilBeet)

Will Ferrell has a murder-boner (FunnyOrDie)

The Bachelor stays single (Defamer)

Audience freakouts are Oprah’s Favorite Thing (Jezebel)

Yet another angle on the Jen vs Angie thing! Isn’t that so last year? (HuffPo)

Dear Rachel Bilson, quit stalking me (Craigslist)

Natalie Portman hearts teh gheys (EvilBeet)

The Strike Network new productions (Dr Boli’s)

Top 10 Reasons Letterman supports the strikers (AgentBedhead)

The Many Faces of Boy George (CelebritySmack)

Hayden Panettiere is wanted…by the police! (CeleBitchy)

Heather Mills is hiring bloggers (does Scoble know?) (GabbyBabble)

Daniel Radcliffe and Kim Cattrall? In somebody’s dreams (NOWmagazine)

Christina Aguilera, female impersonator? (HollywoodBackwash)

Brad Pitt is a jealous boyfriend (TheBlemish)

Did Angelina have a miscarriage? (Popbytes)

Amy Winehouse’s on-stage breakdown (PopOnThePop)

Chaka Khan…. Let me rock you all the way to the homeless shelter (TheMeatScale)

Ho, Ho, Ho! : so that’s what “Reindeer Games” are, eh? (Webster’s)

Sarah Michelle WHO? (DailyStab)

Jennifer Aniston dates SATC himbo (FListed)

Is John Travolta borrowing Phil Spector’s wigs? (DListed)

Tom Cruise busts a move, scares the horses (CityRag)

Duelling celebrity babies (AgentBedhead)

Celine Dion gets freaky with it (DailyStab)

Ellen BigFatPlateOfNothingDiet Pompeo is wed (ImNotObsessed)

Buy Britney’s Starbucks leftovers! (CelebSlam)

Keira Knightly is Sienna Miller’s best (only) fan (HolyMoly)

Angelina Jolie’s baby return policy? (Popsugar)

Shocker! Jennifer Aniston is a sore loser (Popbytes)

Rihanna is an Oreo (CelebritySmack)

Jason Patric steals not just Julia Roberts, but anything else he can get his hands on (CelebNewsWire)

Matt Damon kicks Ben Affleck’s ass yet again (CelebrityCowboy)

Another Osmond in rehab! Oh, those wacky Mormons (ETOnline)

Heath Ledger another victim of the Kate Hudson hotness-sapping superpower (DListed)

A day in the life of Winehouse: ambulance at dawn, concert at dusk (PerezHilton)

Brangelina is island shopping (OK)

Brandon Davis is a toxic substance (NYP)

Demi Moore’s 2000 pounds of silicone (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jessica Biel is womanhandled (HolyCandy)

Mischa Barton shows her Sapphic side, too (DailyStab)

Britney loses visitation rights (TMZ)

Owen Wilson off the smack, on the Patron Silver (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay’s got a ring on her finger! (EvilBeet)

RIP Deborah Kerr: An Actress to Remember (GabbyBabble)

Norwegian wouldn’t: Amy Winehouse arrested in Bergen (HolyMoly)

The Michael Jackson/Teri Hatcher convertible Halloween mask (Defamer)

Joely Richardson makes Karen Carpenter look chubby (DailyMail)

Uma Thurman steals Britney’s look (HollywoodTuna)

Ben Affleck is gone, baby, gone (Mollygood)

Celebrity Moms on Parade: Jennifer Garner, Katie Holmes, Angelina Jolie, Julianne Moore, Maggie Gyllenhaal (yes, that’s her!!) and Kate Winslet (I’mNotObsessed)

Alice Evans in costume as The Widow Cobain (GoFugYourself)

David Beckham is ready to play the field (ASocialite’sLife)

Last remaining Rat Packer packs it in (WOWReport)