Ayyyy!

At last we learn the backstory to the shot herd ’round the world. Oh Snoop, we’ve all been there.

Claire Danes knows how to work a trenchcoat (Lolebrity)

Celebrities! They’re not like us! They can walk in these shoes! (CelebToast)

The best 404 message online (AgentBedhead)

Om Nom Nom WHA???? (AllieIsWired)

Brittany Murphy, Casey Johnson, Basic Health Rules laid to rest (AmyGrindhouse)

Demon in sheep’s clothing (BWE)

Anne Hathaway flips the bird (BricksAndStones)

Alexis for Alexis! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ooh La Little Girl Lingerie? (LaughingStork)

Kate, I think you dropped something (HolyMoly)

Sandra Bullock will cut a bitch (LitelySalted)

Forget Mischa Barton, try Carole Channing! (LaineyGossip)

Kristen Stewart in court for prostitution (TMZ)

Ralph Lauren snubs in public! (CelebrityMound)

Ellen for President? (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Tom Brady’s 2-month-old can run??? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Oooh, ACDC MUST DIE!!!! (CeleBitchy)

Jay-Qui? (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Possibly the most terrifying headline I’ve ever read (CelebritySmack)

Kanye survives horrifying ordeal (CelebSlam)

Bublé’s bongo bowl (CityRag)

Dennis Quaid’s farmer’s tan (CrazyDaysAndNights)

The Real BabyMamas of Atlanta (Crunk+Disorderly)

Brangelina lives! (DailyStab)

Paris has gone to the dogs (DanasDirt)

Nicknames of the literati (Gawker)

The return of PuppyBowl (DListed)

Betty White is terrifying (EvilBeet)

Small Wonder it was cancelled (FourFour)

Janet Jackson is a Janet Jackson impersonator (GabbyBabble)

Best Dressed/Worst Dressed at the Grammys (GoFugYourself)

Snooki’s makeover (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Qween no longer on Scene (INeedMyFix)

How Hugh Jackman rolls (HaveUHeard)

World’s most expensive benchwarmers (HollywoodBackwash)

Flack pointedly does NOT deny Paris Hilton is dumb (HollywoodRag)

Sniff Beyonce for $50 (HollywoodTuna)

KFat achieves self-awareness (ImNotObsessed)

Leif Garrett busted NOT A FLASHBACK TO 1975 (Janet CharltonsHollywood)

Virgins versus Texting! (JustJared)

PETA vs Avatar (Movieline)

Jessica Biel definitely not Jewish (FitCeleb)

Frances Bean taking singing lessons (PerezHilton)

Stock Anderson Cooper Adorable Story (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Russell Brand shoots, scores (UKPopSugar)

Jamaican Bobsled Team not so cool (WizBangPop)

Orlando Bloom is all wet (PopBytes)

Kelly Clarkson in flamewar (RadarOnline)

Re-Enchanted (SeriouslyOMG)

Tila says the butler didn’t do it (ASocialiteLife)

Conan O’Brien’s Valentine to Britney (SquareEyes)

Saffy, darling, are you slumming in this movie? (TenGossip)

John Mayer needs to take off the Wayfarers (TheBosh)

Mischa Barton wins Best Supporting Hose (TheSkinny)

Really, is this what Hollywood has been reduced to? Have things really hit rock bottom? Is the situation so desperately dire that celebrities have been forced to cut back on their entourage of assistants and handle their own clothes?

All I can say is, I’d better damn well be losing weight. Tofu, people! I’m consuming tofu! Of my own free will!

Has it come to this?

Katy Perry kissed a girl and broke a mirror (Websters)

Are Ellen and Josh the new Kiki and Herb? (TenGossip)(raincoaster)

Kate Hudson recycles (ASL)

Courtney Love, put that back where it belongs! (SeriouslyOMG)

Courtney’s sandblasting not party-resistant (PopBytes)

Unicorn chaser: Tiger Woods is a daddy again (WizbangPop)

Beyonce hates her feet? (UKPopSugar)

The Rihanna/Chris Brown lesson (EvilBeet)

ARoid (CandyKirby)

SJP goes dark (JustJared)

Brace yourself for Fantasia (IBBB)

I dream of … Maiysha? (GoFugYourself)

Kate Winslet worships her bum (GabbyBabble)

It’s Jennifer Aniston’s party and she’ll cry if she wants to (HolyMoly)

Madonna reenacts the Pieta (Defamer)

Kate Moss has met her Evil Understudy (AgentBedhead)

Britney burgled? (CeleBitchy)

Do you think any of these people could hold down a real job? (CelebritySmack)

For just five cents a day you can feed a Hollywood stylist (CelebWarship)

Tom Cruise busts a move (AgentBedhead)

Paula vs Simon. It’s ON, bitches! (GenosWorld)

Beyonce beaten! (AmyGrindhouse)

Kiefer’s a star in our hearts and on our sidewalks (UKPopSugar)

Childhood trauma explains Pam Anderson’s taste in men (CelebritySmack)

Brad Pitt’s kids will ask him to get married (CeleBitchy)

The Black Hole of Hasselhoff (CityRag)

“I love you.” “What?” (Reuters)

The weirdest way to skip work (Crunk+Disorderly)

Oprah admits she fell off the wagon (DailyStab)

William Shatner plays doctor (Defamer)

Your Illinois governor scandal sheet (EvilBeet)

Jessica Simpson learned from these guys (FourFour)

Cate Blanchett’s Spanx are showing! (GabbyBabble)

JLo learns Angie but good! (GoFugYourself)

You know what they say: big feet… (HolyCandy)

The 5th Day of Harriet Carter Christmas (IBBB)

Rumble at Chuck E. Cheese! (CandyKirby)

The day the Earth stood still for Keanu and Jennifer (ImNotObsessed)

The Brangelina clan to expand again? (JustJared)

Miley Cyrus, silent at last (SeriouslyOMG)

Jim Carrey will do anything for a laugh (ASL)

Lindsay Lohan’s leggings are flying off! (Websters)

Pomtinis count as a serving of fruit, you know. They’re full of antioxidants, so down a couple as you surf the gossip links tonight and work on your alibi.

WiNo-No strikes again? (AmyGrindhouse)

Is someone trying to kill Robert Downey Jr? (SeriouslyOMG)

What does Kate Moss have to do to get arrested in this town? (AgentBedhead)

When Pink finds out, Brandon Davis is gonna need protective custody (CeleBitchy)

William Balfour arrested for Hudson family murders (SocialiteLife)

David Spade needs a good lawyer (Celebslam)

The criminal truth of Tina Fey’s scar (CelebWarship)

Lindsay Lohan = Eddie Gein? (AllieIsWired)

American Express hates America (CelebuWreck)

Immortals team up for concert (CelebritySmack)

Criminal panty lines, Beyonce! (POTP)

Someone wants Simon Cowell bad enough to break the law (GabbyBabble)

Michael Phelps has mastered the George Clooney m. o. (DailyStab)

Lindsay Lohan has a Facebook impersonator: Lindsay Lohan? (EvilBeet)

Liveblogging Fake Karl by Dead Yves (FakeKarl)

False advertising! (CandyKirby)

Fun with Spam (IBBB)

Shia finally makes his Mom happy, becomes a lawyer (JustJared)

Giant douche can’t even manage to shoot himself in the foot (Mollygood)

Some criminal hairdos at the BAFTAs (UKPopsugar)

Save Canada! (OMG)

Marc Jacobs, necrophiliac? (Towleroad)

Your shirtless unicorn chaser (Defamer)

Sure, the Rob Roy is a classic cocktail. Anything good enough to ruin Dorothy Parker’s friends is good enough for me!

$cientology vs Samurai (AgentBedhead)

Meet the $cientology swordsman (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse realizes she can do better (CeleBitchy)

The Britney Circus (CelebritySmack)

Dope elopes (DailyStab)

Neil Patrick Harris is The Naked Man (JustJared)

Beyonce is 180% different from Kanye (CandyKirby)

Gwyneth Paltrow tells you how to run your Thanksgiving (INO)

The Coolest Church on Earth (MollyGood)

Blake, Incarcerated, thinks he’s moving up (Yeeeeah)

Adrien Brody and Beyonce are Cadillacs to everyone else’s Yugos (PopSugar)

David Spade is the patron saint of pulling out of your league (Websters)

 Joey Fatone is awful literal-minded! (SeriouslyOMG)

Mel B is no turkey (EvilBeet)

Britney’s bringing 1998 back (DListed)

Yes these robot hands make it impossible to get a decent manicure, but don’t you think that’s the least of her worries in this instance?