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Golden girls

Professional v amateur

And that, dear readers is the precise difference between made-to-measure and one-size-fits-all.  

PS Rather fitting isn’t it that this should happen to Vanessa Hudgens around the 1 year anniversary of her photographic shenanigans, as if to serve as a reminder that it may have briefly retired from public view but it never really went away.

Fashion Rocks: Six of the worst

Fashion sucks

How very shiny and futuristic! The fashion of the future is already here, which means that the fashion of today is..somewhere else? Does this not make you want to cryogenically freeze yourself until such time when things improve, probably in the next millennium?

Fashion mocks

Hot Tub and Planter’s Punch links

Liza with a ZOMG! (Lolebrity)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: David Boreanaz vs Ewan MacGregor (TeenyManolo)

Perez Hilton explained in math (SuperfantasticPlastic)

Kate Moss and Sly Stallone want you to bend over for them (AgentBedhead)

Paul Newman finishes chemo (CelebritySmack)

John Edwards admits cheating while his wife had cancer (EvilBeet)

Clay Aiken has a baby! (WRAL)

LiLo and SamRon out for her birthday (DailyStab)

Suri Cruise is a natural! (CandyKirby)

Brian Atene: riddle wrapped in an enigma and posted on YouTube (YouTube)

Jessica Simpson pulls the old “Baby on Board” on Tony Romo’s family (CeleBitchy)

Bleachonce not bleached, sez Loreal (EOnline)

Top Five Failed Olympic crossovers (Defamer)

First pic of Clay Aiken’s baby (Gawker)

“Dress” for the red carpet not just a vague metaphor (GoFugYourself)

The quotable Tori Spelling (IBBB)

Levi McConaughey pimps out the murse (Mollygood)

Miley Cyrus in All About Eve (Websters)

Your GenX Moment: Mary Tyler Moore Show reunion! (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindsay Lohan throws a lingerie party for her girlfriend (JustJared)

Then and now

Loreal, because jaundice is worth it

Gosh, I haven’t seen so much bleaching since a certain fallen Prince of Pop decided to opt out of looking human. What next L’oreal, shall we digitally whittle her nose down until it’s so thin and pointy it could cut glass?

Links of the Dark Side

Robert Blake hangz wit al hiz frenz (Lolebrity)

Pete Doherty demonstrates oral hygiene, a heart, mendacity (AgentBedhead)

Vince Vaughn needs braiiiiiiiinssssss (Websters)

Suzanne Summers shows you the graveyard of Alan Thicke’s hopes and dreams (SeriouslyOMG)

Pete Doherty will win Kate Moss back with Diamond of Death! (CeleBitchy)

David Beckham prefers the back door (UKPopSugar)

PerezHilton hater suing him for making her look bad (MollyGood)

Beelzebub Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller an item (JustJared)

Celebrity spawn for fun and profit (ImNotObsessed)

Racist, sexist or just plain defamatory: you decide! (CandyKirby)

Aubrey O’Day fill-in fug (GoFugYourself)

Sex Zombie King Hugh Hefner and his posse of victims (DailyStab)

The Dark Knight is our shining hope (CelebritySmack)

Gwyneth Paltrow must have sold her soul (Defamer)

Lisa Bonet’s AngelHeart past catches up with her (Crunk&Disorderly)

Solange Knowles, victim of great treachery

Thorn between the roses

Happy Birthday Solange Knowles! You’re certainly looking…radiant.  What’s that you say? Your mother and sister picked out your birthday outfit? In that specific colour? Ah, the shoes as well! They also did your hair and nails, you say? And even made sure not to outshine you by wearing drab ill-fitting clothes? I see.  Have you thought about running away and joining a pack of hyenas?  They would make much more trustworthy family members you know.

Link in the Pink

The photographers are out to get Katherine Heigl (Websters)

Dear Kanye… (SeriouslyOMG)

Good Girl/Bad Girl hair wars: Beyonce vs Kate Moss (Lolebrity)

Wedding bells for gays in California (Mollygood)

Jennifer Aniston is being “actressy” again (Jossip)

Joan Rivers is too sweary for England (PerezHilton)

Led Zeppelin wins best live act: what year is this? (UKPopSugar)

Billy Ray Cyrus is a metaphor machine (Radar)

George Takei gets a marriage license (JustJared)

Paris Hilton schooled on puppy abuse (WizbangPop)

Jennifer Lopez takes Skeletor for a walk (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Eddie Murphy has a big head (DListed)

Usher is a sexpert? (ImNotObsessed)

Ho-down at the Bunny Hutch (CandyKirby)

Tara Reid not dead, waitressing at pirate bar (GoFugYourself)

Get Smart is on BoobieWatch Patrol (NinjaDude)

Will Smith vs Willow Smith (DailyStab)

Scott Baio’s baby’s health scare (CelebritySmack)

Chris Rock has something in common with Pete Doherty (AgentBedhead)

Heidi Fleiss puts the “mad” in “madam” (Defamer)

Reader question: Hair extensions

Q: I really want to get hair extensions so I can shake my luscious locks in tandem with my booty like a Solid Gold dancer. But being totally unresourceful, I’ve no idea where to start. How can I avoid getting ripped off?

A: Yes, you must tread wisely – although mangled hair may grow back again, your self-confidence may never recover from an unfortunate weave.  A poor quality hairpiece is not only bad in color, but also in texture and movement.  It will dangle awkwardly from your scalp like a tacky novelty from a rearview mirror, only to fall down drunk on the floor when everyone is looking.  Most likely it will end up going home with a random stranger, leaving you to pick up the pieces, or strands even, of your shattered dreams. 

Loose hair

By contrast, superbly crafted extensions are full of vibrant energy. They shine, they spring, they bounce, oh they practically defy gravity in their very zest for life.  No matter how fast or how hard you move, they will never leave you. And when you make it into the top 10 of Forbes’ list of Most Powerful Celebrities, you will know that you would never have gotten that far with just an ordinary piece of hair.

Bride of Jay-Z

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