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Beyonce | Ayyyy! - Part 5
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“Link” is a metaphor!

Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds act out the Canada/US relationship (lolebrity)

The Hogans are the Oedipus and Elektra of the B-List (CelebuWreck)

Tom Cruise’s lawyer invokes Godwin’s Law on Dr. Drew (SeriouslyOMG)

Amy Winehouse is dealing crack (CelebrityDirt)

“Tila Tequila is a political power broker” isn’t a metaphor, it’s a stretch (AgentBedhead)

Beyonce is a work of art (CelebritySmack)

Jimmy Buffet is a natural (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Ashlee Simpson is showing (HollywoodBackwash)

Angelina Jolie is a pig! (DailyStab)

Ned Flanders at the beach! (DListed)

Marcia, crossed (ImNotObsessed)

Milk of human kindness curdles after a certain age (CandyKirby)

I know who killed my career (CeleBitchy)

Amy Winehouse is a size queen (NowMagazine)

Brad’s boxes in box-office boxing match (ASL)

Dita von Teese hosts Ebony and Ivory party (UKPopSugar)

No News is Good Links

No news today (BBC via BoingBoing)

No real news about Vince Vaughn anyway (DListed)

Top Ten College Commencement Speeches (Gawker)

Jack Black’s Panda Attack! (AgentBedhead)

Shania is single, has no comment (CeleBitchy)

Californians achieve marriage equality (Mollygood)

Britney’s pink wig’s sex tape (Defamer)

Beyonce is Desperate (ImNotObsessed)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty close down the Hell Prom (Lolebrity)

Hard celebrity dicks (Gawker)

Ellen ruins Portia’s surprise (TMZ)

Jessica Alba cannot outstare your disapproving aunt Thelma (YouTube)

Renee Zellweger thinks you can be fooled by myriad accessories (ImNotObsessed)

Posh is a jean Djinnii (PopSugar)

Sugar Tits and Sugar Titter en route to South America: this should end well (DailyStab)

OWEN WILSON COMES TO HIS SENSES (CelebritySmack)

Kiefer kandidz (GabbyBabble)

Vince Vaughn will make his own damn threesomes! (CandyKirby)

Iron Femme (Websters)

Jessica Alba is being motherly (IBBB)

Mickey Mouse Links

Scientology and bad PR: a deadly combo (AgentBedhead)

Tom Cruise explains himself (CeleBitchy)

Origami Guy Fawkes mask (Chosetec)

Anonymous vs Scientology, round eight-billion: May 10th (raincoaster)

The curse of Katie Holmes! (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Lindsay Lohan is an unhappy poster girl (DListed)

Beyonce has a pay to play deal (Bossip)

Gary Coleman makes sense? The end days are upon us (Mollygood)

Paris Hilton is engaging in substitution, but it’s better than the alternative (PopSugar)

Miley Cyrus is a bad influence on Minnie Mouse (Webster’s)

Agyness Deyns to make out with another girl’s boyfriend (TheRadReport)

Best (Worst?) Hollywood hellraisers (HolyMoly)

P Puff Diddy Daddy has a star on the Walk of Fame, now stuck with a name (SeriouslyOMG)

Chloe Lattanzi is Toxic! (AllieIsWired)

Shine on, you crazy Neil Diamond (DailyStab)

Brangelina beats Oprah like a red-headed mule (CandyKirby)

Obama is a Hills groupie (IBBB)

Miley Cyrus does something decent for a change (ImNotObsessed)

Stars! They’re just like us! They love free donuts too! (JustJared)

The Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon love child (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Valentino: Orange FAIL (Popbytes)

Megan was a light-fingered Fox (CelebritySmack)

Underage and Overexposed Links

Miley Cyrus is Electra Woman for the 21st Century! (Celebuwreck)

Speaking of “parent issues:” Michael Jackson Comeback Threat Alert Red (CelebSlam)

Gwyneth Paltrow is only ever Gwyneth Paltrow, even when it costs other people a fortune (CeleBitchy)

Gwyneth Paltrow pulls a Miley Cyrus, twenty years later (NOTW)

Amy Poehler will be a good Baby Mama (Derober)

Why Miley Cyrus’ overexposure is all Annie Leibovitz’s fault (Gawker)

TR Knight brings GLAAD tidings politicians don’t want to hear (E!)

Celebrity beverages. Must be of legal age or, presumably, on an Annie Leibovitz shoot (Jossip)

Annie Leibovitz is sorry we all misunderstood the naked fifteen-year-old “art” (WendyWayrad)

Battle of the B-Movie Directors (AgentBedhead)

Miley Cyrus just wants to make you happy (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Kirk Douglas defends the olds (Defamer)

John Travolta sez: looking like a porn star is not just for kids anymore! (Yeeeeah)

In sexually-exploited-former-child-star news: Britney sane enough to reprise HIMYM role (Dlisted)

Slash’s kids keep their clothes and their attitude ON, baby! (SeriouslyOMG)

Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn are so money, yet lack cabfare? (PopSugar)

Beyonce and Jay-Z have good old-fashioned values (HolyMoly)

Meanwhile, 15-year-old with longest odds actually turning out classy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Miley Cyrus is a budding Annie Leibovitz herself (CelebritySmack)

Pamela Anderson works hard for PETA, does not know what you mean by “cognitive dissonance” (PopBytes)

Is the Hoff old enough to be dating EVE HERSELF??? (ImNotObsessed)

Happiness in Linkery

Meet Your Master: New Nine Inch Nails single free for download tonight (TheRadReport)

Katie Holmes vs Victoria Beckham: pretty hate machines (Defamer)

Every day, every one, is exactly the same to Karl Lagerfeld (Gawker)

With teeth: Hillary Duff’s veneers (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Why does James Frey get all the love in the literary world? (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend is something Ashley Olsen can never have (CelebritySmack)

That’s what Richie Sambora gets (for driving drunk) (CelebrityDirt)

You know what you are, Paris Hilton? (CelebWarship)

The line begins to blur: Pulp Fiction, by William Shakespeare  (Metaquotes)

Help me, I am in fashion hell (CandyKirby)

Happiness in slavery available to Ashton Kutcher at my house any time! (DailyStab)

Sanctified: yes, Beyonce and Jay-Z are married (ImNotObsessed)

Natalie Portman down in it, not quite down with it (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jessica Simpson’s ringfinger/finger ringer? (IBBB)

Guns ‘n Roses’ terrible (eternal) lie (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Connor Cruise doesn’t bite the hand that feeds (JustJared)

Head has, like, a hole: The Hoff has eye surgery (HolyMoly)

Slave 4 Links

Henry Rollins, gay icon (WendyWayrad)

The honeymoon is over for Beyonce and Jay-Z (Yeeeeah)

Debbie Gibson has a scary Spanish stalker (WhizbangPop)

CNN reporter in speed bust (CeleBitchy)

Celebrities celebrate 420 (CityRag)

A narrow escape for a cinematic classic: Tom Cruise as Edward Scissorhands? (HolyMoly)

Jude Law morphing into your creepy, manorexic uncle (SplashNews)

Heath Ledger may have taken The Method too far (Gabsmash)

Pete Doherty’s credit is good? (TheRadReport)

The incredible Tony Romo impregnation juggernaut? (CelebrityDirt)

Gary Busey soon to be as homeless as he appears! (CelebritySmack)

TomKat is the very picture of marital bliss (DailyStab)

Happy Birthday, Suri! (CircusHour)

Fundie fashion fun (Mollygood)

Evan Rachel Wood is over Marilyn Manson (or at least her face is) (JustJared)

Mariah Carey walks out on her fans (PerezHilton)

Thurslinks

What hath JLo spawned? (Gawker)

Angelina’s big baby figure (Defamer)

Bats are full of protein and great for your hair (TressedOutCelebs)

America’s Next Top Recap (I’mBringingBloggingBack)

Celebrity syntho-schnozzes (Cityrag)

The sliding scale of celebrity integrity (AgentBedhead)

Spitzer’s other hooker (Celebitchy)

One more reason to love Johnny Depp (ImNotObsessed)

Is this Hillary Clinton’s greatest speech ev-ar? (Dlisted)

At LAST! A picture of Nicole Kidman looking bottom-heavy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Beyonce’s little sister launches a hip-hop toy company (BlackCelebrityKids)

But…but…Madonna is not biodegradable! (JustJared)

What Amy Winehouse will look like in a month (CelebrityDirt)

Stick Insect vs the Prince of Darkness (CelebritySmack)

Introducing the Paris Hilton Clodhopper Pony (CircusHour)

Jack Nicholson’s topless photos (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Scariest celebrity faces: a surgeon’s opinion (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Link and you’ll miss it

Prayers for Britney: a Social Movement (PrayersForBritney)

I’m stuck in rehab with Pat O’Brien (StuckInRehabWithPatO’Brien)

Paris Hilton hires the handicapped: colorblind Oompa-Loompa thanks her (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse, British-mawed no more (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity Rap Sheet (LiquidGeneration)

Failed murderess still taking shots at the victim 16 years later (CelebritySmack)

Rihanna in post-Grammy, pre-Afterparty car crash (Dlisted)

Princes William and Harry to bike across Africa (CelebrityRightpundit)

Frances Bean Cobain is pretty, not her parents (Celebwarship)

More than we really wanted to know about Heather Mills’s erogenous zones (Mollygood)

Gwyneth sez: Brooklyn is the new Malawi (Popsugar)

Sienna Miller got her driver’s license, needs new photo to go with her new face (ICYDK)

Owen Wilson needs another intervention to get him off Kate Hudson (CeleBitchy)

Nicholas Cage sues Peggy Sue! (DailyStab)

Katherine Heigl gets a mom-makeover (EvilBeet)

Charlotte Church is a Jedi Mistress (HolyMoly)

The Knowles sisters keep it real. Real bitchy (GoFugYourself)

Johnny Depp’s kids go to Disneyland (JustJared)

Playdate for Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie? (ImNotObsessed)

Engineering secrets of the rich and famous, starring Aretha Franklin (HolyCandy)

New Line stiffs the estate of JRR Tolkien (PerezHilton)

Jennifer Aniston is 39. But how does Angelina feel about that? (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Trent Reznor now twice as pretty (raincoaster)

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