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Friday G&T Links

Britney Spears has dim inisht car pass city (Lolebrity)

The first Triple Crown win in thirty years? (TheAspiringHorseplayer)

Lindsay Lohan has more lives than a house full of cats (AgentBedhead)

Vin Diesel is a daddy! (DailyStab)

Evander Holyfield nearly loses ear, may lose house as well (CelebritySmack)

KFed will not be bought! Cheaply! (ImNotObsessed)

Click here and watch your ovaries expload: Prince Harry holding a baby! (DListed)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Viggo Mortensen vs Jon Bon Jovi (TeenyManolo)

Willy Nelson is a nut; Jessica Simpson is a speed demon (Defamer)

Lynda Carter reports finding a dead woman in the Potomac (CeleBitchy)

Christina Aguilera misuses the American flag (Yeeeeah)

Jennifer Lopez defects to Moscow, twins nowhere in sight (PopSugar)

Kate Beckinsale is uni-talented (Websters)

They grow up so fast…when their mother is Kate Beckinsale, that is (Mollygood)

Jude Law will have none of your “match the shoes to the outfit” Naziism! (JustJared)

“Do ya feel lucky, Spike Lee? Well, do ya?” (CandyKirby)

Billionaire Nerd is secret sex, drug fiend (PerezHilton)

The first rule of Metallica is, you don’t talk about Metallica (Idolator)

A gift with many benefits

Happy Birthday Hef!

Guess what they got Hugh Hefner for his 82nd birthday? A busty blonde wearing nothing but high heels, because really, like Hermes handbags you can never have enough of those in your collection:

Actress Pamela Anderson surprised Playboy entrepreneur Hugh Hefner on his 82nd birthday with a naked lap dance.

The star, who has appeared on the cover of the publication 12 times, gave the media mogul the unique gift during celebrations at the Palms Fantasy Towers in Las Vegas on Saturday.

As Hefner walked into his luxury suite, Anderson, 40, emerged from a bedroom in nothing but high heels and proceeded to perform a seductive routine for him.

George Maloof, who owns the hotel, says, “He was stunned and had the biggest smile I’ve ever seen.

And why not? It must have been an added bonus to find out that Pam could also double as a respiratory assistance device.

Give me eternal life!

March Linkness

Japan goes insane for baseball-playing koala (WithMalice)

Martha Stewarts booze all-stars (Defamer)

Anderson Cooper recovering from cancer surgery (Gawker)

Scandal in the Heath Ledger estate (DailyStab)

Twenty-five most whipped men in the world (Style.com)

The exploitation of Daniel Radcliffe’s bum! Daniel Radcliffe’s Bum! (AgentBedhead)

You can never un-see this, so click at own risk (DListed)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend gave her a ring. And not on the phone (Celebitchy)

Madonna still wearing hers, surprisingly (ImNotObsessed)

Cha-cha not the only thing going down on Dancing with the Stars (CelebritySmack)

When bad makeup happens to good C-Listers (DerekHail)

Colin Farrell celebrates his third Sober St Pat’s (ICYDK)

Jen/Owen/Kate/fake triangle fake drama (popbytes)

Shia LaBeouf is on the lam! (CelebNewsWire)

Things white people like: Dinner Parties! (ThingsWhitePeopleLike)

Jenna Jameson to star in Zombie Strippers? Documentary, perhaps? (CircusHour)

The pulling power of celebrity: someone still wants Carrot Top (Craigslist)

Amy Winehouse really could use that infamous red bra right about now (NSFW!!!) (POTP)

Is this the most disappointingly misleading headline ever? (Cityrag)

Halle Berry covers her baby’s bases. Planning a move to Gaza? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Steve Jobs = Cthulhu (Raincoaster)

Linkaaaaay!

Lily Allen is a party girl again (PerezHilton)

Pete Doherty ate my lovechild (AgentBedhead)

Heath Ledger autopsy inconclusive (CelebritySmack)

Viggo Mortensen won’t cross a picket line for an Oscar (CelebWarship)

Lenny Kravitz is saving himself for marriage (GenosWorld)

Jude Law is smiling because…? (AllieIsWired)

Owen Wilson buys a bong (Dlisted)

Naomi Campbell is the Abominable Snow Bitch (Bossip)

Best Buy pimps out the late Heath Ledger (BWE)

Nicole Kidman, placenta hijacker! (Defamer)

Myspace Tom wants to do more than friend you! (HolyCandy)

Miley Cyrus debuts emo look (DailyStab)

Bill Clinton and Gina Gershon? (Gawker)

Britney is banned from the Grammys (Mollygood)

Scientology is marked for death (ImNotObsessed)

Bindi Irwin says Ayyyy! (Websters)

NYC is Disneyland? (CityRag)

Dope-on-a-Rope

Manolo says, Sir Richard Branson grabs his thinking parts after the promotional stunt goes awry.

The 57-year-old had planned to plummet from the top of the Palms Casino Hotel, Las Vegas, in a harness to promote Virgin America, a new airline offering domestic flights in the US.

But as he took a running jump from the roof, where he was attached to a cable, the stunt backfired.

Instead of gliding smoothly to the ground, he had a rather more bumpy ride as he tried to pull airline tickets out of his pocket and scatter them among the onlookers on the ground.

But then the stunt turns into a bum deal when Branson crashes into the wall and his trousers split, forcing him to cover his modesty with his hand

Sir Richard smashed his bottom twice into the building and, as the colour drained from his face, clearly began to realise something was amiss – or rather, missing – from his person.

Clamping his hands to his seatless trousers, he landed and made a hasty exit.

(more…)

The Headlines Write Themselves

Step One: Cut a hole in the box.

okay YOU try making a tasteful joke

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