Ayyyy!

Oh, they may have frou-frou names, but don’t let that fool you. Like many a stiletto-clad damsel, they have a kick like a mule’s hind leg.

In memory of Marjorie (FourFour)

You don’t have to be famous yet to hate your fans (AgentBedhead)

Canada dodges a bullet… a bullet named Baldwin (CeleBitchy)

Naaaaasty Celebrity PDA’s (PopEater)

Jennifer Garner needs your help! (DListed)

Brad Pitt, also, needs your help (Defamer)

All things considered, this year’s Sexiest Man Alive could be worse (CelebritySmack)

100 movie spoilers in 5 minutes (CityRag)

Jean-Claude vanDamme has a way with metaphor (CandyKirby)

Britney is running around on Ken Paves (CelebWarship)

Joan Collins at least knows her snow (SeriouslyOMG)

Johnny Depp does his Helena Bonham Carter impression (DailyStab)

Nicole 1, Paris 0 (PopSugar)

Real Lessons from the Real Housewives (IBBB)

At least SOME of Katy Perry is real (Websters)

I have the sad duty of reporting that the “hot buttered gin” experiment was a total failure. In the absence of further information we are blaming the cloves.

Is it real or is it Photoshop? Only TV Guide knows for sure (Websters)

Clitt can’t split!!! (SeriouslyOMG)

Kate Moss’s ex wants to sperminate her (CeleBitchy)

Leighton Meester goes from rags to riches, or at least from jail to stardom (WhatWouldTylerDurdenDo)

Claymates not adapting well to the latest news (Defamer)

More on Claynation in mourning (CandyKirby)

Amy Winehouse experiences difficulty holding down a job (ImNotObsessed)

Drew Barrymore not too picky to settle for a fanny-pack wearing Vanilla Ice impersonator (DListed)

The perfect gift…for your worst enemy (AgentBedhead)

The Battling Lohans are at it again (CelebritySmack)

Oasis is SO not getting invited to Balmoral (DailyStab)

I am cancelling laundry “to focus on the economy” (Radar)

Janet Jackson is an International Woman of Mystery (IBBB)

Rilo Kiley is all about the pottymouth (CelebrityDirt)

It was THAT kind of day.

Charo needz ur luv (Lolebrity)

The Bride of Wildenstein walks among us! (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindsay Lohan can’t walk, but she sure can throw a punch! (IBBB)

Mariah’s doggy don’t (DListed)

George Takei’s wedding picture (Websters)

It’s the Beverly Hills Chihuahua premiere, bitch (BWE)

Blaaaaaaake, Incarcerated, turns down freedom (CeleBitchy)

Brad Pitt will haXXor ur az, n00b! (Reuters)

It’s Brangelina’s world. We just blog in it (DailyStab)

Will Smith still down with Xenu (HuffPo)

Even Sienna Miller’s fans hate her (AgentBedhead)

Amy Poehler leaving SNL (CelebritySmack)

Tilda Swinton’s homelife remarkably deprived (HolyMoly)

Crusty, upper-clawss Brit Madonna may perhaps not be a Republican (Defamer)

The Sarah Palin baby name generator! (PolitTskTskTsk)

Madonna sez: how was what? (CandyKirby)

Kevin Federline celebrates his sons’ birthdays in style. In absentia (Mollygood)

Is Britney taking candy from strangers? (JustJared)

Kief is the Chief (UKPopSugar)

Hey, I may be a snob, but I’m a snob who isn’t too proud to take the open bar in whatever twisted form it chooses to manifest in, especially when I’ve been working at an art project all day. Pass the peanuts!

Birth, christening, DNA test, court order: Miss Manners, David Spade on Line One (AgentBedhead)

Who you gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS 3! (DailyStab)

The Women are no Clare Booth Luce! (CelebritySmack)

Meat puppet vs producer:Hollywood Smackdown! (Defamer)

Lily Allen gets into another fight at a party (HolyMoly)

McCain wins the monkey vote (Gawker)

Karl Lagerfeld, wanted man (FakeKarl)

Intern George will solve your life (GoFugYourself)

Frantically clutching husbands: the Olympic event (CandyKirby)

Tommy Lee is pleased about blogger self-abuse! (IBBB)

So will Lilo do PlayGIRL instead? (ImNotObsessed)

Britney puts her meat through the grinder (Mollygood)

Brad Pitt handles the transition from Venice to CENTRE OF THE BLOODY UNIVERSE with grace (JustJared)

Pete Doherty costs me five bucks (SeriouslyOMG)

Perez Hilton is slim, handsome, and still completely ridiculous (Websters)

It’s the battle of the Hot Hollywood Dads Who Have Taken Up Residence In France!  Are you partial to the one with the brooding good looks or the other with the good looking brood?

What’s this I hear about a four-day weekend? Outrageous rumours!

Steve Jobs sez: OBITUATE DIFFERENT! (Lolebrity)

The weirdest Japfro you’ll ever see! (CelebuWreck)

Face it: Michael Jackson is 50 (PopEater)

Pamela Anderson is Botox-free (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Caligula’s horse speaks! (DailyMail)

Tricia Yearwood has instant karma (CelebrityDirt)

When Canadians Attack! Jessica Simpson! (Websters)

The Mandala of Madge’s vadge (CityRag)

Ewan McGregor and Jim Carrey sitting in a tree… (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Ewan McGregor vs Gavin Rossdale (TeenyManolo)

The Hillary kerfuffle (disembedded)

Obama’s acceptance speech (FoodPlusPolitics)

Jesus appears on an insect! (Membracid)

David Beckham is afraid of turning into Homer Simpson (CeleBitchy)

The 12-step recovery plan for David Duchovny (BestWeekEver)

Aaron Sorkin will Friend you (Valleywag)

The Collected Facebook Status Updates of Aaron Sorkin (Vulture)

Madonna goes Howard Hughes on us (SeriouslyOMG)

Singer’s uncle off to Sing-Sing (ICYDK)

I will NOT use the headline “Sarah Palin tapped by McCain”!!! (CitizenSugar)

Lindsay Lohan takes a shot at the gold medal (HolyMoly)

Carrie Underwood might have to settle for silver (DailyStab)

Jeremy Piven can’t keep a civil tongue in his head (ImNotObsessed)

No, he really can’t: the collected rants of Jeremy Piven (Defamer)

Blind Item Roundup! (Gawker)

Solange Knowles bans the Big B (CelebritySmack)

The Broony Bromance (CandyKirby)

Big local earthquake. I didn’t notice a thing. Story of my life, really.

Russell Crowe makes his move (Lolebrity)

Jim McConaughey takes the Errol Flynn way out (AgentBedhead)

OJ gets his ass kicked (CelebritySmack)

Duff parents (CandyKirby)

SamRo to dish on LiLo yo! (DailyStab)

Cougarfights of 90210 (Defamer)

What Michael Jackson would look like as a man (Gawker)

Horses sweat. Humans perspire. JLo glows (DListed)

Cracking down on Canucks (EvilBeet)

Pigs DO fly! (IBBB)

Tara Reid is not entirely human (GoFugYourself)

Ellen and Portia’s wedding included cavity searches! (JustJared)

Axl and Kelly together forever? (Mollygood)

Your George and Brad unicorn chaser (Websters)

Venice Film Festival: pretty people being professionally pretty (UKPopsugar)

Kate Moss comes to the realization that models are supposed to be thin! (Jossip)

Julia Child, Master Spy (Lolebrity)

Disturbed by ageing? Ernest Borgnine says just beat it! (CandyKirby)

A star is born: Failure Model Chick gets her big break (IBBB)

Jackson Browne lays the beatdown on thiefy John McCain (CelebuWreck)

Brad Pitt wardrobe malfunction (OhNoTheyDidnt)

Billy Zane gets genital exfoliation from once and future ex (AgentBedhead)

Dave Coulier aught to know what it’s like to break up with Alanis Morrisette (CelebritySmack)

Renee Zellweger chilled in Miami (DailyStab)

Leave Grandpa Alone! Hugh Hefner retires (CeleBitchy)

Katie Holmes will bring the Eighties back no matter what it takes (DListed)

JLoHew, now 10% off! (Defamer)

The history of Xenu, by L.Ron Hubbard (Gawker)

The Saga of a Celebrity Saloniste (ImNotObsessed)

Learn to speak Romulan! (EvilBeet)

Robert Downey Jr. rocks the Ron Jeremy look (GoFugYourself)

Margaret Cho gets ink (JustJared)