We’re back, and linkier than ever!

Timberlake in leather (blogger faints) (DailyStab)

Lindsay is positive! about using drugs, that is (PopCrunch)

Kimberly Stewart’s boobs are lopsided (AgentBedhead)

Britney wears underwear! (CelebritySmack)

Mena Suvari’s new look (I’mNotObsessed)

Do NOT watch Mariah Carey pee! (HolyCandy, and don’t worry; it’s not a video post)

Farrah Fawcett’s alternative cancer therapy (CeleBitchy)

The Curse of Howdy Doody (WOWReport)

Angelina Jolie: still employable (USWeekly)

Nicole Richie’s stripper heels (Jossip)

Carl Lewis’ new vibrator (Gizmodo)

Britney has one for the road…on the road (EvilBeetGossip)

Ben does not beat Jen (ICYDK)

Dylan McDermott is back on the market! (BricksAndStones)

Jailbird Paris Hilton is the Halloween Costume of the Year (Seattle PI)

Kelly Ripa rocking the Gollum look (Dlisted)

Britney Spears Art Exhibit, y’all! (CityRag)

Kiefer Sutherland DUI charges (Defamer)

Smells like Courtney Love? (Agent Bedhead)

Kathy Griffin is engaged, about to be richer than God (Celebitchy)

Jennifer Aniston…still getting work in movies (CelebritySmack)

Jennifer Garner’s six pack (CelebSlam)

Rock and Roll Facelift Roundup (CityRag)

Debra Messing is bringing the muu-muu back (DailyStab)

Vanessa and Zac: splitsville? (Derek Hail)

Angie is Nicole’s guardian angel (Dlisted)

speaking of which, Angie’s only slept with four men (Glosslip)

Justine Bateman works the Holly Hobbie look (GoFugYourself)

Oscar de la Hoya in fishnets? (HollywoodRag)

Lee Greenwood needs the green, not red, white and blue (Hollywood Offender)

Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull spoilers (JoBlo)

Prince Freddie von Mr. Zsa Zsa speaks out (TMZ)

Yes, OJ is free. Lock up your blondes (Defamer)

Who wore it better: Amy Wino vs Edward Scissorhands (HolyCandy)

Britney’s partying again. Big shocker, eh? (I’m Not Obsessed!)

Dita covers up nicely (Mollygood)

Alicia Silverstone gets nekkid for Peta (FitSugar)

This month Reese Witherspoon, who is small and cute and perpetually glamourous and very hard to dislike, tells Elle magazine:

“Right around Christmastime I was sitting in a parking lot,” Witherspoon begins. “And I felt like I just couldn’t get out of the car. It was like, I can’t get out of the car.” She laughs sadly, pressing her ringless hands to her cheeks. “And I thought, Okay, half of the parking lot has dealt with this. More than half of the parking lot has dealt with this. Okay, let’s make it a little bigger. Half of this city has dealt with this. Okay, let’s make it a little bigger—half of this country, until I finally got out of the car. It was like, It’s okay. It’s okay.

Less than a day after Reese’s interview with Elle made the rounds, a quote from Ryan conveniently crops up:

“After the divorce I was a physical wreck. I wanted to die. I was ready to kill myself. I was not taking care of myself at all. I would wake up and cry and vomit.”

Could the ex-Mr Witherspoon be engaging in a little bit of one-upmanship? So what if you couldn’t get out of the car? I couldn’t even get out of bed to shave and exfoliate. Now THAT’s suffering. So don’t even try and compare your troubles to mine, honey!

All I can say is dude…when you go out clubbing every night, doing shots off random bimbos in spandex and taking whatever your teenage friends give you, you’re bound to wake up in a puddle of your own puke sobbing like a baby.