Ayyyy!

Here we see heir to the British Throne His Royal Highness Prince Charles Philip Arthur George, Prince of Wales, KG, KT, GCB, OM, AK, QSO, PC, ADC, Earl of Chester, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the Isles and Prince and Great Steward of Scotland presenting medals to soldiers of the famed and historic Black Watch. Which points up two things:

one, that the Black Watch has abandoned the wearing of Black Watch, and

two, that if we can see him the camo doesn’t work very well!

Which reminds me of the time I was walking down The Drive and saw this guy dressed head to toe in camo. Camo shoes, pants, jacket, tee, hat, and backpack. I deliberately bumped into him and said, “Oh, sorry. I didn’t see you.”

He didn’t get it.

The Revenge of Coco (Gawker)

Quentin Tarantino to helm Conan flick (AgentBedhead)

Neil Patrick Harris shares a touching moment with Mickey Rourke (Lolebrity)

Old Friends (AmyGrindhouse)

Sig Hell! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Putting the “Brit” in Britney (CeleBitchy)

Finally, someone impresses Simon Cowell (CelebritySmack)

Golden gobs (HolyCandy)

Angel Falls to Earth (this is not a repeat from Paradise Lost) (INeedMyFix)

Hilary Duff, Garbo impersonator (JustJared)

Ice this old qualifies as glacial, no? (UKPopSugar)

Not enough Cthulhu! (Movieline)

The Cupcake of Doom (Crunk&Disorderly)

Lindsay Lohan embarks on a new career (DListed)

Martha Stewart goes pole hog (EvilBeet)

Jay, even the angry lesbians are against you now. Surrender before you get maimed (GabbyBabble)

Re-assemble your celebrity (INO)

Ah, after all these years, what has not already been said about the protean talents of hottie and character actor Colin Farrell? Remember the time LiLo gave him her phone number in the gym? And he asked her how old she was? And she said seventeen? And he handed the card back and said call me in a year? and she did? And the rest is (medical) history?

He didn’t look like this back then:

Yes, it’s Colin “hottest fry cook in the chip wagon” Farrell, the pride of Dublin. Actually, given how drastically Lindsay’s gone downhill in the last year, he’s probably out of her league now, however much he might try to tone down teh sex-ay.

And believe me, he’s trying.

So Colin, what do you think of Bruges? (NSFW language, unless you work as a blogger, in which case at least be sure the people in the cafe can’t hear this)

Sure, blondes have more fun, but does she LOOK like a girl who likes to have fun? (AgentBedhead)

There IS justice in the world (AmyGrindhouse)

Kendra Wilkinson a FAR better actress than anyone suspected (BusyBeeBlogger)

If nomenclature and PR couldn’t keep these guys together, what hope IS there? (CelebritySmack)

Topless hunks in headless story (PopSugar)

Vampires: they’re JUST like us! (Lainey)

Van spawns MINI-Van (DListed)

Buh-BYE, Ty-Ty! (DailyStab)

PETA’s pet peeves (CeleBitchy)

MUST-see tv (Gawker)

Brit is BROWN! (EvilBeet)

Lindsay’s found her CALLING (HolyCandy)

Rapist sues over label; still fine with DOUCHE tho (LitelySalted)

Homeless couple spotted with ADORABLE children (GabbyBabble)

MALFOY in MIAMI! (INO)

Charlie Sheen’s Christmas CARDED (JustJared)

The AVATAR Holiday Special! (Movieline)

Mariah CARRY! (SeriouslyOMG)

Beckham’s BACK! (PopBytes)

Here’s a pic of apparent-first-black-lumberjack-in-history and recording artist Ludacris, at South Cobb Hill High School in Austell, Georgia to give out food for needy families in the area.

Which is laudable of him and his parents should be proud, etc, etc, but I really just used because it has a celebrity in it and sets up the following pic really well.

I have no idea who that woman is, but she’s now officially Miss Ayyyy Thanksgiving 2009. And if she can be persuaded to give me that hat, she might have a lock on the title for next year as well…

Back to celebrities, doing the mandatory “pose with the bling” thing.

Did you ever have one of those moments where your entire Almost-But-Not-Quite-Thank-God life flashes before your eyes?

via doozywhoop

Talk about a perfect fit!

I’m on what I call the Diva Diet: I don’t eat fattening food or drink alcohol unless someone else pays for it. That way, it has no calories! And most particularly, a Sapphire Collins has even fewer, because every fool knows bubbles are calorie-free!

Link Challenge: Booze!

Megan Fox was sotally tober when she said that (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse boozed (AmyGrindhouse)

Brooke Shields defends the Paladin of Pisco, her Saviour of Sake, her Kamikaze Knight (BusyBeeBlogger)

Octomom isn’t drunk, just crazy (CeleBitchy)

Has Meghan McCain gotten into Mom’s pillbox? (NYDN)

Boy George’s sobering good looks (CelebritySmack)

Lady Gaga, straight up (BST)

STOP THE PRESSES VICTORIA BECKHAM IN FLATS (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Emmy Rossum pulled over, apparently just in time (CelebuWreck)

This video is psychoactive (Crunk+Disorderly)

LiLo to sober up? (DailyStab)

Ho, Ho, Ho, somebody got into the leftover eggnog (Gawker)

Is that a mickey in your pocket or are you just Come On, Get Happy to see me? (DListed)

Bennifer 2.0 on the rocks? (EvilBeet)

George Clooney is a tall drink of … where was I? (INO)

A sobering thought for Brooke Hogan (IBBB)

Dear Miss California, have a cocktail and calm down (JustJared)

Confucius sez just because there is vodka in the Green Room, doesn’t mean you have to drink it (PerezHilton)

Tarantino transvestites, tipples (FAB)

Medical emergency: blogger needs cocktail STAT! (Websters)

Is anyone sober on Twitter? (SeriouslyOMG)

Adam Lambert’s fans are drunk on his love (TenGossip)

Shitney Beers is the fiercest hillbilly trannie! (OMG)

No, I’m not drinking it. I’m just promoting it for a good cause. One must enter into the spirit of things, as it were!

Dora, the Gender Stereotype Explorer (AgentBedhead)

Chris Brown does not understand the meaning of “misdemeanor” (AmyGrindhouse)

Hayden Pannettiere doesn’t know what she does for a living (CandyKirby)

Britney Spears’s uterus makes a break for it (CelebWarship)

Forgive me, Xenu, for I have sinned (CeleBitchy)

Give me your tired, your poor, but not your Amy Winehouse (AllieIsWired)

Donald Trump talks sense? (CelebritySmack)

The LA Kings are truly desperate (CelebuWreck)

Drew Barrymore’s new job: Kate Moss impersonator (DListed)

Jimmy Kimmel is not f*cking Sarah Silverman (EvilBeet)

Matt Damon, centurion (GabbyBabble)

Reese Witherspoon deliberately upstages costar (JustJared)

The Princes of Hearts at large (UKPopSugar)

Betty White is Always Prepared (SeriouslyOMG)

as if Travis Barker doesn’t have enough problems (Websters)

The best Peaches Geldof beatdown you’ll read all damn day (HolyMoly)

B-Ball A-listers (AgentBedhead)

Brad Pitt hot coffee vid (AmyGrindhouse)

AlpacaAlpacaAlpacaAlpaca not as much fun as a llama (BWE)

John Mayer has found true love (CandyKirby)

Britney’s Circus comes to town (CelebritySmack)

Gladiator aprons are the new black (CelebuWreck)

Feel Kanye’s pain (DailyStab)

Octomom poses for a portrait (POTO)

Vanilla Ice finally mans up (EvilBeet)

Hell hath no fury like a baseball player scorned (GabbyBabble)

Someone should tell Jennifer Aniston about SmartCuts (HollywoodBackwash)

Katie Holmes is pure, detoxed, exhausted (HollywoodRag)

Mario Lopez has yet to meet Miss Right (Websters)

It’s not the size of your caulk, it’s how you use it (IBBB)

It’s now officially okay to laugh at Sherri Shepard (ImNotObsessed)

The Young Victoria premiere in London (UKPopSugar)

The Return of Super Dave! (SeriouslyOMG)

This will not end well (HolyMoly)

Make mine a double. I need the caffeine to counter the No-Name Cold And Flu Extra Super Megatron Strength tabs I picked up off that guy in the alley.

Slumdog Millionaire or Future Nike Factory Worker? (TheBlemish)

Beverly Hills Millionaire or future therapy patient? (AllieIsWired)

at least he can still fly (AmyGrindhouse)

Does Rihanna have an undiagnosed head injury? (WizbangPop)

Times are tough for everyone as U2 does an honest day’s work (YouTube)

As does Debra Messing (GoFugYourself)

Will Joke For Food (ASL)

The Butterscotch Stallion puts the feedbag on (Websters)

Social media at its most anti-social (IBBB)

Duffy’s duff (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindsay and Lily: when drama queens collide! (UKPopSugar)

Duchess of York, Countess of Cavalli (Grazia)

Happy belated birthday, Jensen Ackles (TenGossip)

The Britney Spears circus is a tease (ImNotObsessed)

Like, dating is hard (EvilBeet)

Bruce Springsteen vs the Evil Empire (GabbyBabble)

Snoophammad? (HolyMoly)

The return of the Wino (PopBytes)

First Lady not second best (POTP)

Lindsay Lohan plans ahead (DailyStab)

and it takes a LOT to mortify Kanye (CelebuWreck)

Freebies aren’t good enough for Octomom (CelebritySmack)

Scarjo rocks the purple turban? (AgentBedhead)

Jonas Brothers go topless (Towleroad)

I’ll get healthy if it kills me! Have I said that before? What do you expect, I’m utterly stoned on flu medicine! In any case, that great theory about spinach, that you can put it in anything because it doesn’t have any flavour? Is a myth. My mouth has an aftertaste known only to raw vegan extremists and pedigreed racehorses.

Skittles Vodka: just shoot it (BWE)

Hugh can do it (AgentBedhead)

Miley? Can sue it! (AmyGrindhouse)

He knew it! (AprilWinchell)

Beth Ditto just nudes it (CelebWarship)

Mickey Rourke talks sh*t (CelebritySmack)

Jane Krakowski’s cans can’t (CelebuWreck)

Barrymore on Grant? (CandyKirby)

Britney on Trent? (GabbyBabble)

Jessica splits her pants (CeleBitchy)

Courtney Love, heirophant (GoFugYourself)

All hail Tina Fey (EvilBeet)

A new job for Aubrey O’Day (DailyStab)

Peck or Sidney Poitier? (TeenyManolo)

Celebrate the Harriet Carter way (IBBB)

Heidi Klum’s got tubby, eh? (DListed)

Someone’ll get it from Michael Bay (Defamer)

Gwyneth will get it from Oprah Winfrey (Defamer as well, this was too good to skip)

Announcing James Roday (SeriouslyOMG)

Lily Allen’s overexposed tittay (Websters)

Blogs invaded by Jordan’s Peter Andre (UKPopSugar)

Ivana Trump goes on holiday (HolyMoly)

and this concludes our rhyming-on-flu-meds experiment for this evening.

All I can say is, I’d better damn well be losing weight. Tofu, people! I’m consuming tofu! Of my own free will!

Has it come to this?

Katy Perry kissed a girl and broke a mirror (Websters)

Are Ellen and Josh the new Kiki and Herb? (TenGossip)(raincoaster)

Kate Hudson recycles (ASL)

Courtney Love, put that back where it belongs! (SeriouslyOMG)

Courtney’s sandblasting not party-resistant (PopBytes)

Unicorn chaser: Tiger Woods is a daddy again (WizbangPop)

Beyonce hates her feet? (UKPopSugar)

The Rihanna/Chris Brown lesson (EvilBeet)

ARoid (CandyKirby)

SJP goes dark (JustJared)

Brace yourself for Fantasia (IBBB)

I dream of … Maiysha? (GoFugYourself)

Kate Winslet worships her bum (GabbyBabble)

It’s Jennifer Aniston’s party and she’ll cry if she wants to (HolyMoly)

Madonna reenacts the Pieta (Defamer)

Kate Moss has met her Evil Understudy (AgentBedhead)

Britney burgled? (CeleBitchy)

Do you think any of these people could hold down a real job? (CelebritySmack)

It’s a health kick, what can I say? Sliced ginger, hot water, and maple syrup. Still better than well whiskey!

3 girls 1 cover (TenGossip)

Salma Hayek in disguise as a librarian (ASL)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is a Salma Hayek impersonator (CandyKirby)

Miley Cyrus sez Asians are goofy (Websters)

Britney’s still a two-fisted drinker (OMG)

Joaq toaqs (CelebWarship)

Grandma Fonda’s got a blog! (CeleBitchy)

How to date a Scientologist (AgentBedhead)

Introducing Neko Case (UKPopSugar)

Phelps thrown overboard (JustJared)

Lindsay Lohan hits the road (EvilBeet)

Madonna has issues (CelebritySmack)

Pet one-upmanship downsizes for the Recession (CelebuWreck)

Mack Rourke (Defamer)

Pity Jessica Alba! (AmyGrindhouse)

Pete to teach! (HolyMoly)

Sometimes you open a wine only to realize you should have left it unmolested for a couple of more years, minimum. And so it is with the Finca Flichman 2007 Malbec; currently, you could use it to cut the grease on your stove hood, or stain your deck, but I wouldn’t recommend drinking it for 24 months at least, unless raw velociraptor blood is your drink of choice. Which, knowing this blog’s readers, I don’t entirely rule out.

President Obama’s Inauguration Speech: full text (raincoaster)

Juliette Lewis speaks from the heart (AgentBedhead)

Kelly Osbourne busted for beat-down (AmyGrindhouse)

A complete beginner’s guide to Martin Luther King, in standup (BWE)

Blake more Incarcerated than he expected (CelebWarship)

John Cleese nekked (CeleBitchy)

The Paris Hilton Rerun channel (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

What’s up, Doc? (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay Lohan celebrates early (HolyMoly)

Madonna will give you what for (WWTDD)

Joiquin Phoenix’s new pseudeolife (Defamer)

Can a vagina win Miss Congeniality? (EvilBeet)

Nobody messes with Julia Farking Roberts (DListed)

Angelina Jolie/Paris Hilton One of these things is not like the other (CandyKirby)

The City, The Headband, The Recap (IBBB)

Britney’s got a book deal (ImNotObsessed)

The DC Celebrity Roundup (UKPopSugar)

Benjamin Button = Forrest Gump? (SeriouslyOMG)

Katy Perry satin it (Websters)