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Britney Spears | Ayyyy! - Part 3
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Hump Day Hunk: Anarchy Edition: Julian Assange

What can I say? It’s Anarchy day.

See? A law-abiding seatbelt wearer

See? A law-abiding seatbelt wearer

Also, I have a bit of a thing for plausible, real-world Bond villains. Why don’t you try to talk some sense into me over a couple of Vesper Martinis?

The Booze Reaper (Manolofood)

V for Vogue! (Ayyyy)

Dr Drew’s got 99 problems (Lolebrity)

James Bond in drag (raincoaster)

The latest has-been to pull a Joaquin Phoenix (AgentBedhead)

Hunk dumps troll (BusyBeeBlogger)

Thetans Strike Back! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

OMG a celebrity who’s clean? (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Mariah Carey’s night of mommyglamour (CelebritySmack)

But will she be naked or neurotically sweary? Enquiring minds want to know (DailyStab)

Appearing on FunnyOrDie is not “Winning” (EarSucker)

Robert Pattinson run off the road (FitFabCeleb)

Arwen vs Kanye (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Latest Awful Celebrity Couple (HaveUHeard)

Putting the “hipster” in “Vampire” (HollywoodHiccups)

I guess I’m not getting that job then (INeedMyFix)

Brad, those shades are the Pitts (MathewGuiver)

Britney vs Bullies (PoorBritney)

Theft tapes are the new sex tapes (TheSkinnyChic)

 

 

Tiger Blood Cocktail Links

Diddy? Oh yes he DID!

Diddy? Oh yes he DID!

Are you WINNING? Diddy sure is, and PWNING too. BOOM!

RIP OD (CelebritySmack)

REM RT (CelebrityVIPLounge)

WINNING! photoshops (CityRag)

SO FAR, Demi. So far… (DailyStab)

Adele is pro-gossip (DippedInCream)

Everybody but me has a book deal and a sex tape (EarSucker)

Three planets that size make a solar plexus system (FitFabCeleb)

Remember Lily Allen? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

One gets Africa, one gets New York? (HaveUHeard)

Aw man, don’t bling that thing! (HollywoodHiccups)

They have country music in Belgium? (INeedMyFix)

Roseanne Barr and Charlie Sheen? (MathewGuiver)

KFed/FedX Xpands (PoorBritney)

“Country Music’s newest star” (PopBytes)

TURBAN SIGHTING!!! (TheSkinny)

Bikini baby bump (TheSkinnyChic)

 

 

Mubarak Chic!

 

Yes, you CAN judge a book by its cover

Mubarak Chic: yes, you can judge a book by its cover

Truly has it been said that fascists generally have the best uniforms. When it comes to fallen dictators, however, the same is not true. Look at Hosni Mubarak here, former president of Egypt and current homeless dude. Never mind the cut of his jib, we can tell he’s earned those stripes. It may look like a regular old pinstripe suit, but if God is in the details I’d have to say this qualifies as blasphemy, because those stripes are actually made up of his name, printed over and over. Of such gaudy heights of self-aggrandizement may the average Mafiosi only dream.

Speaking of gaudy pinstripes, let’s drown our sartorial sorrows with a classic Bronx Cocktail and a few buttoned-down gossip links, shall we?

Baby on Board (raincoaster)

Nicole Kidman could use a sammich (Lolebrity)

London Fashion Week is for the birds (Ayyyy)

I scream! (ManoloFood)

He should fit right in with Lindsay and Gadaffi (AgentBedhead)

Charlie Sheen too busy winning to retain custody of his kids (BusyBeeBlogger)

Justin Bieber sells out to rich witch doctor? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

A simple summit with Lady Gaga (CelebritySmack)

Robert Pattinson cheats on Tai (CelebVIPLounge)

Babies: totally Team Coco (CityRag)

Katie “Sue” Holmes (DailyStab)

Kim Kardashian, Saviour of Autotune (Earsucker)

Save Oprah! (FitFabCeleb)

Another sign Russia is in desperate straights (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Oh man, the ski lobby hates celebrities (HaveUHeard)

ScarJo publicly toejobs Sean Penn (INeedMyFix)

Oh Em Jee, the Oscars are about to get awesome (MathewGuiver)

Britney’s V shots (PoorBritney)

Sad Mugshot Xtina is sad (PopBytes)

Amanda Seyfried’s magically transforming Doc Martens (TheSkinny)

Five Angels, only two backsides among them (TheSkinnyChic)

 

 

Sexy Sexy Links!

I’m sorry, people, do we really have to go over this after all this time?

Charo cannot be upstaged. It cannot be done. Stop trying.

And now, it’s time for our Sexy Links. Enjoy them with a sexy cocktail like the Big Blue Sexy:

Sextradited! Julian Assange is going to Sweden! (raincoaster)

and how much do they make busking in that lobby anyway? (Ayyyy)

Dinner with Julian could get sexy! (Manolofood)

Steve Martin is a spammer! (raincoastermedia)

Marlon Brando is rollin’ dirty! (Lolebrity)

The King must be hard up (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan can afford a car? (BusyBeeBlogger)

How to Kreate a Kardashian (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Let them eat Paris Hilton’s birthday cake! (CelebritySmack)

Champagne wishes and caviar … nails? (CelebVIPLounge)

Making money this way is still more respectable than doing Glitter (CeleBitchy)

EVERYBODY’s a Material Girl (DailyStab)

Buy some Bieber! (Earsucker)

It’s a living, eh Natalie? (FitFabCeleb)

Kiki Drunkst spent her allowance on eyeliner (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Rosie O’Donnell is gonna have to get a job now! (HaveUHeard)

Also, she was trying to auction off her Plus One (INeedMyFix)

Is there MONEY in being an internet troll? (PoorBritney)

The Donald is just pissed Rihanna is richer than him (PopBytes)

and for this she gets $5million a picture (SeriouslyOMG)

I’d pay good money to have seen this live (TheSkinny)

Shoe Horns and Corn Links

Christian Louboutin has a lot to answer for (for which to answer? Whatever) in particular these heinosities for both sexes:

For Gentlemen:

This Louboutin demonstrates what men think of as "spikes"

This Louboutin demonstrates what men think of as "spikes"

And for the Ladies:

To Lady Gaga, these are just fluffy

To Lady Gaga, these are just fluffy

Now, I’m sorry.

No, I’m not.

But these BOTH look like either two people suffering from EPIC plantar warts (isn’t it nice they found each other? I bet the romcom would star Jennifer Aniston and Ben Stiller, and be nearly as painful as the disease) OR they were lovingly hand-crafted in an Italian atelier from the intimate membranes of a Stegosaurus with history’s worst case of genital warts.

Having planted that lovely thought in your head, I’ll now degrade you further with todays corny links.

Britney Spears is corny (Lolebrity)

Just say YES to creamed corn and ketchup with this delicacy (Manolofood)

“Evergreen” is still the top kernel of corn (raincoaster)

Joan Collins’ liquor is a little more rarefied (ayyyy)

Gaga’s brains are totally frittata (AgentBedhead)

Chris CORNell (BusyBeeBlogger)

Duelling cornballs, nobody wins! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Bagel-to-Perogy communications perfected (DippedInCream)

Kingston’s just a niblet off the ol’ cob (CelebritySmack)

What the Adele? Isn’t WalMart too cornepone? (CelebVIPLounge)

Elisabetta Corn-all-ass (CityRag)

Aw, shucks, Canada’s hottest export returns! (DailyStab)

Gaga’s husky voice comes from the Whiskey Yoga Diet (GirlsTalkinSmack)

I always forget which one is Korny (FitFabCeleb)

Bieber creamed! (SeriouslyOMG)

Daniel Radcliffe is all Aw Shucks (CeleBitchy)

She’s a niblet, and shrinking! (TheSkinny)

Nice stalks! (GossipTeen)

Is that a corncob in your pocket, Brad, or??? (HaveUHeard)

Simon Cowell is picking Canada’s best crop of niblets (INeedMyFix)

If Gwyneth Paltrow is a vegan, does that make her a cannibal? (AmyGrindhouse)

Britney got her silks combed (PoorBritney)

Sui, Sui, pig, pig, pig (PopBytes)

Mariah’s ready to pop (EvilBeet)

Hump Day Hunk: Viggo Mortensen

That's not hot sauce, ladies

That's not hot sauce, ladies

His protestations to the contrary, we have conclusive proof that Viggo Mortensen is a Red Wings fan.

And that’s just too gross to explain, even for me.

Wash your mind’s eye out with a Muff Diver shooter (no hands, please!) and a few gossip links:

Zachary Quinto has a message for young people (Lolebrity)

Who won the fashion wars? (Ayyyy)

The St Valentine’s Day Massacre/Roundup (raincoaster)

The most perfect food in the world, in 926 words (ManoloFood)

Charlie Sheen pulls an Edith Piaf (AgentBedhead)

You know, I’d pay good money to watch her in the UFC ring (BusyBeeBlogger)

Tila Tequila has gone Amish on us (CelebDirtyLaundry)

In fairness, I’d snub Avril Lavigne too (CelebritySmack)

Wait till Shia LaBeouf hears about this! (CelebVIPLounge)

I don’t blame him: EVERYONE hates Daleks (CityRag)

Your straight boyfriend will care about this story (DailyStab)

Jessica Simpson is as spontaneous as a NASA rocket launch (Earsucker)

Anne Hathaway wears support hose! (FitFabCeleb)

Celebrity fashion week (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Gosh, Emma Watson, lay off the ‘roids! (GossipTeen)

Lance Armstrong has had more comebacks than Cher (HaveUHeard)

A bunch of Yanks at the Brit Awards, why? (INeedMyFix)

Britney’s leaking! (PoorBritney)

Courtney Love perfects the “Dexedrine-addicted, glamorous auntie” look (PopBytes)

Who invited HER? (TheSkinny)

Sexy Links!

Congrats to the cute couple

Congrats to the cute couple

Awww, isn’t that cute? The Duchess of Alba and her boytoy Alfonso Díez are making it legal. Living proof, if any were needed, that an aggressive nose job that results in you breathing out of two large pores in the middle of your face is never a wasted expense, if it allows one to attract men known to society paper readers everywhere as “and Unnamed Friend”.

In honour of the lovely couple, let’s toast them with a classic Champagne cocktail fortified with a little Spanish brandy, and read some sexy gossip links:

inside raincoaster (raincoaster)

Ryan Reynolds has a sexy fra…what was I saying? (Ayyyy)

Kate Spade’s sexy movie (ManoloFood)

Fred and George Weasley KNOW they’ve got it (Lolebrity)

Sir Elton has some words for our generation’s biggest a$$ (AgentBedhead)

Chris Isaak’s steamy new video (BusyBeeBlogger)

Tila Tequila’s sex tape means we’ll never be rid of her (CelebDirtyLaundry)

WHAT is Gaga doing to herself in bed? (CelebritySmack)

ScarJo doesn’t let cobwebs grow on her ladybits (CelebVIPLounge)

VD Stars! (CityRag)

OMG Tila Tequila and Jennifer Aniston appear in sketchy video together (DailyStab)

Michelle Trachtenberg loves her body and tells you ALL about it (FitFabCeleb)

They get wet (GirlsTalkinSmack)

J Hud talks about her new body (HaveUHeard)

Anderson Cooper is NOT into beatings! (INeedMyFix)

Britney’s got yogabutt! (PoorBritney)

What’s Lady Gaga’s sex name? (PopBytes)

Forget the body: what has Nicole Richie done to her face? (TheSkinny)

Chuck Berry on line one… (SeriouslyOMG)

Hump Day Hunk Links: George Stephanopoulos

Oh, there's my Georgie

Sigh. George, what went wrong?

That’s my boy. Very few people know that back in ’92 and ’93 I was actually a founding member of the George Stephanopoulos Fan Club, and a contributor to their monthly newsletter, the Stephanopouletter. My copy of The War Room has nearly worn out from being watched every 4th of July. I saw him in person at the Vancouver Summit, where I looked up from my glamorous work unloading the coffee for Starbucks, saw him, and froze. It’s not too often I’ve had my breath taken away, but that was one of those times. An American Secret Service agent who’d no doubt seen this happen to dozens of hapless women walked over and said, “That’s George Stephanopoulos. But he’s not old enough to date.”

Le Sigh.

Where was I? Oh, right. In the spirit of bipartisanship I’ll try to remember to feature a picture of Young John McCain at some point in the future, or you can just cheat and click through for that.

And now, the gossip links!

Julian Assange’s new do (raincoaster)

Shut UP, Emma Watson (Lolebrity)

Guess the gap-toothed guy (Ayyyy)

Our WORLD EXCLUSIVE lasted exactly one day (ManoloFood)

Stayin’ Alive? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! (AgentBedhead)

The baby’s first word was “rhinoplasty” (BusyBeeBlogger)

Jimmy Buffetted! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Have YOU ever been upstaged by your own dress? (CelebritySmack)

Paris Hilton shows you her puppies (CityRag)

But which one is MegaShark and which is Gatoroid? (DailyStab)

Never before has spandex restrained so much for so little purpose (FitFabCeleb)

Gag (GirlsTalkinSmack)

So she was single in the sense that nobody would be seen with her? (HaveUHeard)

Jon Cryer is no different from anybody else (INeedMyFix)

Sad, gender-confused Britney (PoorBritney)

The CougarTown drinking game! (SeriouslyOMG)

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