Ayyyy!

Willie Nelson’s celebrity tractor race (Stillisstillmoving)

If a sex doll could sing, it would sound like this (MrTabloid)

Celebrity houses in Malibu wildfire danger (I’mNotObsessed)

Nicole Kidman, fattie (HolyMoly)

Kate Moss, fattie (TheSkinnyWebsite)

Hayden Panettiere, fattie (CelebSlam)

Britney Spears, fattie (TheMeatScale)

Paris Hilton, popsicle (AgentBedhead)

Zac Efron, cutie (JustJared)

Jessica Biel, Martian (CelebritySmack)

Britney Spears, bikini-buff (DailyStab)

Ellen DeGeneris, serial dog regifter (Yeeeah)

Jake Gyllenhaal, toilet connoisseur (BricksAndStones)

Anderson Cooper, built (LARagMag)

Marie Osmond, unconscious (Defamer)

Kirstie Alley, cheater (CelebrityBabylon)

Jennifer Hudson, bridesmaid (GoFugYourself)

Bo Duke, hunk(HolyCandy)

Tyra Banks, fierce (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

Dumbledore, gay (Popwatch)

Paris and Nicky “TwigletThighs” Hilton go shopping (I’mNotObsessed)

Brad Pitt just has a wide stance (HolyCandy)

Jessica and Ashlee Simpson and Emmy Rossum lounging chez GQ (DailyStab)

Britney has an entertaining new stalker (CelebritySmack)

Meanwhile, so do gossip blog receptionists (WOWReport)

It’s official: World’s Biggest Gold-Digger (GabbyBabble)

Snub Madonna at your own risk (AgentBedhead)

Julia Roberts, beloved by beyotches (ASocialite’sLife)

Kneel to the disco-tastic glory that is Joan Collins (TheMeatScale)

Pete Doherty is clean, sober, still rather a basketcase (DListed)

Snoop Doggy Dawg is in da menz room! (Mollygood)

Britney kin reed, y’all (INFDaily)

Even Gwyneth Paltrow’s kitchen is perfect (AllieIsWired)

Mandy Moore LOVES the Raffi (BricksAndStones)

Mazel Tov, Drew Carey (Defamer)

Everybody’s pregnant: Lauryn Hill edition (YouhgBlackAndFabulous)

The Inflatable Prince Harry (PerezHilton)

Jenny from the cell block (GoFugYourself)

The five unsexiest women alive (Maxim)

Kate Moss as the Debbie Harry Zombie (AgentBedhead)

Backstreet’s back! (DailyStab)

Michelle Rodriguez is lost for 180 days (TMZ)

Paris Hilton to annoy Kiefer Sutherland in jail (CelebritySmack)

Britney stands up kids, judge. Again. (I’mNotObsessed)

Penelope Cruz is dating down (HolyCandy)

Angelina Jolie, Jon Voight continue to avoid one another (USWeekly)

Amy Winehouse seeks freedom, fries (GlossLip)

Sarah Jessica Parker covets the scent of superior styling (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

American Idol’s Corey Clark could be touring the slammer soon (WizbangPop)

Reese Witherspoon works the red carpet without Jake (EvilBeetGossip)

Victoria Beckham’s forehead of pebbly doom (Mollygood)

Famous Hookups: just what it says (FamousHookups)

Ricky Martin rocks the sysadmin look (TheMeatScale)

Britney and Jamie-Lynn attacked! (Adeline and Hazel)

Kiefer Sutherland hasn’t got time to plead not guilty! (TMZ)

But he does have time to do 48 days (PerezHilton)

Charlie Sheen’s girl is a RealDoll (Defamer)

Lindsay Lohan is high on puns (OK!)

Hoff is off! (the wagon) (Mollygood)

Linday Lohan and Joey Buttafuoco…wait, what? (Mr.Paparazzi)

Forward Britney’s resume to HR! Thank me later (HolyCandy)

TomKat out to dinner, not lunch (I’mNotObsessed)

Nicole Richie’s baby bump gets bigger, browner (DailyStab)

Jude Law IS Celebrity Dave (AgentBedhead)

Vince Neil’s wife, Amanda Lepore? (CelebritySmack)

Tom Cruise’s blackmailer’s death “suspicious.” You don’t say? (CeleBitchy)

Has Angelina Jolie had a schnozzoplasty? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

George Clooney is never living this one down (Jossip)

Britney passed her drug test (DListed)

Tinsley Mortimer’s poncho, life are not like yours (ParkAvenuePeerage)

Victoria Beckham to play flying monkey? (TheMeatScale)

Jennifer Lopez keeps mum (GirlsTalkinSmack)

John Stamos plays doctor at Disney World (JustJared)

Isabella Blow, styled by Alexander McQueen and Frank Frazetta (SassyBella)

Christina Aguilera registers for baby presents (HollywoodOffender)

Zahara Jolie-Pitt flips the bird (TeenyManolo)

Is Ryan Gosling more Ryan Cygnet lately? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Britney finds her destiny (PopSugar)

Is EVERYBODY pregnant? Nicole Kidman edition (Celebitchy)

Catherine Zeta-Jones’s marriage tips (I’mNotObsessed)

Coffee-wielding Britney fan seeks Chris Crocker-style stardom (Defamer)

The fifty best breasts in movie history (what, no Fabio?) (Filmthreat)

Sean Astin is still Goonie, after all these years (MTV)

Britney hides from her children (TMZ)

Who wore it best: Beckham or Bird? (HolyCandy)

Prince Harry’s sinuses are clean as a whistle (CelebritySmack)

The Pamela Anderson Husband-O-Matic (AgentBedhead)

Avril really knows how to work a mic (TheBlemish)

Hugh Grant’s cuddle puddle pix (PerezHilton)

Britney reunites with her Mom (People)

Pete Doherty rejected by Death (AgentBedhead)

Prince William’s taken, sorry (Mollygood)

Pamela Anderson’s married, sorry (Celebitchy)

Nicole Kidman’s military boob stance: drop and give me two pushups (TheMeatScale)

Christina Aguilera shows off her practice baby (DListed)

Jessica Simpson works it for charity (I’mNotObsessed)

Lohan is free: gentlemen, start your engines (TheBlemish)

Jaime Foxx’s training wheels bling (CelebritySmack!)

Maria Shriver, First Lady of California, picks her teeth in public (Celebslam)

It’s Britney, bitch: The official Gimme More video (PopBytes)

Britney, Lindsay, Paris: Mariah Carey has some advice for you (DailyStab)

JLo preggo, yo (TMZ)

KFed’s parenting tips (TeenyManolo)

LolCats want you to LEAVE BRITNEY ALOOOOONE! (icanhascheeseburger)

Faith Hill is faithful to fashion (DailyStab)

Taking Marilyn Manson home to Mom & Dad (AgentBedhead)

Lily Allen and Kate Moss show that classic English restraint (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay Lohan is clean, sober, still confused (ASocialite’sLife)

Brad Pitt’s VPL????? (I’mNotObsessed)

George Clooney’s new sex toy (HolyCandy)

Owen Wilson’s sober vacation plans (CeleBitchy)

Jennifer Garner and the meaning of the cash bar (LaineyGossip)

Keri Russell and baby River (HollywoodOffender)

Hot Celebrity Daddies! (CityRag)

At least Danny Bonaduce is wanted by someone! (TMZ)

Elizabeth Taylor is STILL big! It’s the pictures that got small! (Mollygood)

Charlie Sheen is one nasty babydaddy! (ICYDK)

Your colossal daily Britney screwup roundup (HollyScoop)

Angelina collapses drunkenly OR a tabloid is really reaching for headlines (PopBytes)

Even socialites get the shoe-fitting blues (Park Avenue Peerage)

Reese trashes Britney, Lindsay and Paris, joins rest of world (DailyStab)

Fake Pete Doherty rumours…oh, if only he didn’t exist at all (AgentBedhead)

Angelina Jolie’s suspicious pulchritude (EvilBeetGossip)

George Clooney…sigh (CelebritySmack)

KFed Keeps Kidz (Defamer)

Ann Coulter, 46, wants to take your vote away (Jezebel)

Pamela Anderson outclasses her ex…snark? We got nuthin’ (I’mNotObsessed)

Kate Beckinsale makes a security guard’s day (Celebslam)

Brad Pitt and George Clooney make housecalls? (CeleBitchy)

Jennifer Aniston is tabloid gold (HolyCandy)

Leo DeCaprio’s chick is a chicken (NYPost)

Rootin’ tootin’ Wayne Newton, deconstructed (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Violet Affleck is the Queen of Hollywood (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Ancient Egyptian god Anubis is happy to see you (WOWreport) (reference)

Jenna Bush’s apple doesn’t fall far from the Bush (Jossip)

Perez Hilton’s shiner, Hugh Hefner, and the hookers (PerezHilton)

Britney can drive, y’all! Lock up your Kias! (People)

Ben Affleck, Superdad! (OK!Magazine)