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The Hoff hassled to the tune of $25,000 per month Hasselmony (USAToday)

Vince Vaughn is the Flabby Flasher of Griffith Park (CelebSlam)

Akon guilty of criminal assault on the truth with intent to blow smoke up your ass (AgentBedhead)

Hollywood selling out (no, that’s not a tautology) (Derober)

The jailbird diaries of Pete Doherty (HolyMoly)

Britney’s Total Fitness? Somewhere between couch potato and Basset Hound (TheBlemish)

America’s Next Top Flight Attendant? (IBBB)

Gossip Wars: attack of the necroporn pimps! (Defamer)

Who is this “Dalai Lama” of whom you speak? (Gawker)

Scientology vs the Little Guy, round N+1 (XenuTV)

Naomi Campbell shuts barn door, gazes wistfully after horse (CelebritySmack)

Get M-K O’s look! Then, presumably, get much-needed corrective lenses (CircusHour)

Ashlee Simpson just isn’t worth it (DListed)

Cameron Diaz issues statement about the death of her father (CeleBitchy)

Johnny Depp will never work with Renee Zellweger again as long as he lives (DailyStab)

Blake, Incarcerated, Forgotten (TheSun)

Scarface (GabbyBabble)

Putin’s poontang  (BittenAndBound)

Victoria Beckham’s Pink Taco is 34? (JustJared)

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