It was inevitable that Bjork would end up here sooner or later. If only for those clogs.

You know what to do.

Bjork

We’re a little bit late with this, because the comments were stuck in the Moderation queue, but we tried to make up for it with Gorgeous George Takei. Forgive us?

Katy Perry has forgotten something

fracas March 2, 2012

Shut uuuuup, it’s laundry day.

Congratulations and imaginary swag to first time winner fracas! For her we have chosen the uber-appropriate
Alexander Del Rossa Silk Lace Trim Chemise Nightgown so that she can be better-dressed unconscious than Katy is (self-)conscious.

There are few people more reliable for risibility than the pop tart Katy Perry, so do your best/worst in the comments section.

Katy Perry has forgotten something

For Stella we give thanks, because without her, who’d we have to laugh at all damn week? Announcing our winner for last week’s contest:

Stella McCartney

Mudhooks
February 26, 2012 at 3:12 am

Specially designed for Kim Kardashian…

Congratulations and imaginary swag to Mudhooks! To her we hypothetically present the avian-themed imaginary
Riki Rosetta Anastasia Small Satchel in White Ostrich Leather to honour this design turkey.

Oh, Stella, this is not your best work. We’re going to do it to you in the captions, and we’re going to do it to you hard.

Stella McCartney

We’re back! Just in time to announce our winner of last week’s Caption Contest. Congratulations to all our entries, who kept it clean, kept it funny, and kept it WAY more polite than I would have.

SAMMICH, girl. Dayum! Your elbow shouldn't be the widest part of your arm

skahammer
February 12, 2012 at 2:15 am

Responding to IMF demands, the Romanian government’s belt-tightening measures sadly went too far.

Congratulations and imaginary swag to Skahammer! For our winner of indeterminate gender and undetermined circumference, we hypothetically present the entirely virtual swag of the actually real but in this case imago-swaginary New Yorker belt with solid silver fittings, from Vogt Silvesmiths. Talk about a money belt!

Behold the “glories” of Romanian model and poor liar Ioana Spangenberg, who claims she eats three big meals a day. I remember when Marie Osmond was boasting of a “natural” twenty inch waist” too; those were the days she was eating one apple a day and throwing it up, and she’s not five six. Nor, frankly, are many models who don’t work on fetish sites. Do your best/worst to the Human Skeleton in the comments, and points will be lost for obviousness for anyone who posts “eat a sammich.”

SAMMICH, girl. Dayum! Your elbow shouldn't be the widest part of your arm

I think this one actually scared off most of the commenters, but nonetheless what entries there were were solid, so we are pleased to announce our winner:

Vanessa Paradis up close and extremely personal

igirl99
January 28, 2012 at 9:58 pm
And now, Tales From the Crypt, sponsored by Chanel…

Congratulations and imaginary swag to igirl99, who I believe is a first-time winner. What else? A Sterling Silver Trowel!

And now, lest we forget, a small reminder of what used to be, back when she was admitting to being the same age as me.