Patrick Swayze’s dismal diagnosis (Defamer)

The 5 best faces of Patrick Swayze in Ghost (BWE)

50 gayest songs of all time (SameSame)

Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz are dancing, but who’s the fool? (AgentBedhead)

Salma Hayek prefers boys. Sorry Penny! (Dlisted)

Catherine Zeta Jones has some body image issues (GabbyBabble)

Demi Moore allegedly does not? There’s no justice! (CelebritySmack)

Conflicted Matthew McConaughey designs the very t-shirts he spurns (E!)

The Amy Winehouse soap opera continues apace (Yeeeeah)

Mary-Kate Olsen better keep her monkey paws off mah mayun! (Star)

Daniel Radcliffe faces serious death threats, gets SAS guards (Celebitchy)

Shar Jackson sticks up for FedEx (Bossip)

The Anna Nicole Smith movie: words fail (JustJared)

Julia Roberts and Ozzy Osbourne? (Cityrag)

Smells like…Daddy’s concert! (CelebNewsWire)

Best comedy of the last 30 years is…a joke! (HolyMoly)

Lily Allen is hospitalized for depression (EvilBeet)

Ben Stiller is pumped, Robert Downey Jr is black. Huh? (DailyStab)

RIP Scrabulous (Gawker)

Tom Cruise doesn’t need your permission (Defamer)

to outsource raising his two older kids (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

and L Ron Hubbard doesn’t need Tom Cruise’s permission, allegedly (BricksAndStones)

Amy Winehouse is in even worse trouble than we thought (Fametastic)

And her husband just dumped her for his prison wife (EntertainmentWise)

Have a Cracky Holiday: Amy Winehouse holiday album in the works (JustJared)

Clay Aiken, the glammest leprechaun in all of Las Vegas (Dlisted)

The Quaids talk about their babies’ overdose (CeleBitchy)

Paris Hilton skunks up The Peninsula (GabbyBabble)

Britney Spears is anticipating…publicity (CelebWarship)

David Spade sperminates! (AllieIsWired)

George Clooney likes a good pranking! (TheBlemish)

Celebrity Lips: the good, the bad, the terrifying (BodyPhilosophy)

Ike Turner: Coke is the real thing! (CelebritySmack)

Katherine Heigl’s biggest fan gifts her with Nicoderm (DailyStab)

Wifestyles of the Rich and Famous: Catherine Zeta-Jones vs Clooney’s Brunette of the Day (HolyCandy)

Dita von Teese is Breaking Bad, but Looking Good (ImNotObsessed)

George Michael to tell all, IF he can remember it (PerezHilton)

And the people are…

Catherine Zeta-Jones messy, still hotter than anyone you know (DanasDirt)

Trista Sutter, celebrity mom, self-hating whale (TeenyManolo)

Pete Doherty dumps Irina Lazareanu, targets Kate Moss (TheRadReport)

Scarlett Johansson gives away body parts to her men (CelebWarship)

Amy Winehouse won’t get sloshed before concerts, unlike the audience (WendyWayrad)

Katie Holmes, bastard spawn of Tinkerbell and Godzilla (GoFugYourself)

Ashley Olsen’s Donald Duck impression (ImNotObsessed)

Owen Wilson interview goes live at the witching hour (EvilBeet)

Cindy Crawford, serial sellout (DerekHail)

Natalie Portman, nude no more! (DailyStab)

Renee Zellweger rocks the inpatient look (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Britney Spears carrys drugs in her purse (HollywoodBackwash)

Japan makes Posh Spice smile (Glosslip)

Jessica Biel pulls a Britney Spears move, attacks with brolly (CelebSlam)

Keanu Reeves, 43, has girlfriend, 20 (GabbyBabble)

Borat sued for making etiquette expert look uptight. Whodathunkit? (HolyCandy)

Britney’s hit and run charge dismissed, DWL sticks (PopOnThePop)

Beyonce is your fat aunt (Fatback)

The Unsexiest Women: the blowback (2BlogOrNot2Blog)

Paris Hilton not to molest Rwanda just yet (Oscar Valdez)

Isabella Blow, styled by Alexander McQueen and Frank Frazetta (SassyBella)

Christina Aguilera registers for baby presents (HollywoodOffender)

Zahara Jolie-Pitt flips the bird (TeenyManolo)

Is Ryan Gosling more Ryan Cygnet lately? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Britney finds her destiny (PopSugar)

Is EVERYBODY pregnant? Nicole Kidman edition (Celebitchy)

Catherine Zeta-Jones’s marriage tips (I’mNotObsessed)

Coffee-wielding Britney fan seeks Chris Crocker-style stardom (Defamer)

The fifty best breasts in movie history (what, no Fabio?) (Filmthreat)

Sean Astin is still Goonie, after all these years (MTV)

Britney hides from her children (TMZ)

Who wore it best: Beckham or Bird? (HolyCandy)

Prince Harry’s sinuses are clean as a whistle (CelebritySmack)

The Pamela Anderson Husband-O-Matic (AgentBedhead)

Avril really knows how to work a mic (TheBlemish)

Manolo says, here is the Catherine Zeta-Jones, yesterday and today, in Tokyo. Apparently, she has decided that animal prints are the best way to trick the Japanese into seeing her new movie.