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Play Safe, Old Skool with Betty White

Betty White is a super Cougar

Betty White is a super Cougar

Alpha Cougar Betty White has some words of wisdom for the Mile High club in her new safety announcement video for Air New Zealand. In it she gets to gently paw a hunky flight attendant, cuddle up to Gavin MacLeod, and lead the (touring) cast of Cocoon through basic flight safety maneuvers. Because this is Betty White, and only because this is Betty White, this is full of win. In fact, I BUMPED AN ALAN RICKMAN POST to post this, that’s how in love with Betty White I am. And you know I loves me some Alan Rickman.

Watch. Watch and obey. All Hail Queen Betty.

Friday Caption Contest: KK Edition

You know what to do. Do it in the comments section for fabulous, completely imaginary prizes.

Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian

Friday IMAGINARY caption contest: Clay Aiken Edition

Okay, so we still can’t approve the comments. Still, I saw this and thought you could at least caption it in your heads.

Clay Aiken wtf

Clay Aiken wtf

Friday Caption Contest: Joanna Lumley Edition

You know what to do. Do it in the comments section for fabulous, entirely imaginary prizes. Yes, I SAID DO IT! Even if I have to spend another three hours trying to wade through the spam file until this gets fixed.

Joanna Lumley and unnamed friend

Joanna Lumley and unnamed friend

Sock it to me!

It seems to be Vintage week chez Ayyyy, and that’s all right with me. The music was better. The movies were better. The television commercials were, like, so way better. And this is one of them.

If your husband, brother, father or son has ever known the utter mortification of having flashed a shiny shin, perhaps in a job interview, perhaps in an important meeting. Well, tell your XY that the solution has been found! In 1966!

Not only that, but these very socks are still available, and apparently still selling well. Never suffer the indignity of an inadvertent shin flash again!

Tuesday Caption Contest: Ingrid Bergman, Hedda Hopper, Ann Sheridan Edition

You know what to do, do it in the comments section.

a three celebrity sandwich

a three celebrity sandwich

Tuesday Caption Contest Results: Rob Lowe Yowe Edition

There were only two entrants, but they were both so good I think they scared away the competition. Who won the head-to-head between returning champ Klee and new entrant G-Dog?

Rob Lowe yo

Rob Lowe yo

G-dog May 29, 2013 at 10:09 pm #

Rob is Sabrina Duncan in the all male version of Charlie’s Angels.

Congratulations and kudos (whatever they are) to the triumphant G-dog. And now, for the hotly-anticipated virtual presentation of the imaginary swag (right-click, save, and stick it in your sidebar for all to admire!). For the best 70’s reference we read all week, and lo, we are major Sabrina fans, we hypothetically present the virtually swagalicious although actually lovely Halston Heritage Knot Waist Red Jersey Dress Gown. Wear it well, bro. Wear it well.

I see Paris, I see France, what the HELL?

Paris Hilton likes to feel a breeze everywhere

Paris Hilton likes to feel a breeze everywhere, by which I don’t mean Hawaii, Cannes, etc

I almost lost a bet when pictures of Paris Hilton flashing her underwear surfaced. Drunken Stepfather didn’t lose a bet, but he DID lose his grip when he saw the unmistakable upskirt shot, seemingly proving that the former amateur porn star has changed her ways, no longer the commando cutie, source of countless barstool snail trails.

As with everything Paris Hilton, however, all is not how it first appears. The Daily Mail inadvertently revealed that the “dress” was just a cover-up, and that the “actual underpants that Paris Hilton wears now” were really just a bikini from another part of the photoshoot. They returned immediately to their normal reliable reporting, however, by calling this two-tone bikini “monochrome.”

Taxes, Death, and Paris Hilton, ladies and gentlemen.

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