amanda bynes is a harry monster

We were worried about the girl recently, what with playing pachinko with her BMW and Range Rover and the stripping off in a Spinning class and all. Thank DOG that’s over, because as you can see, she has nailed a part in a high-profile remake of a beloved classic film. Honestly, she’s a natural.

YOU CAST WHO?

Lady Gaga’s back

Someone should tell the not-so-little monster that she needs to go up to the B in pantyhose sizes now. That must feel very, very much like having to put on a two-hour song and dance show with a cheese wire between your legs.

But what does Sir Ian McKellen think?

With her recent launch of Body Revolution, guess she won’t be pricing out a tummy tuck any time soon.

Philip Treacy Chinoiserie

Philip Treacy is to hats what his oft-biz-partner (you have to specify nowadays) Alexander McQueen was to dresses: a supreme genius and a complete loonbat. Fabulous.

Here is his latest show from London Fashion Week. Dibs on the crazy multi-coloured feathered thingy with the iridescent train. Yes, a hat with a train: how could I resist? Although the large double wheel of pheasant feathers is also attractive, but probably only because the way the model is walking the front row of plumes is bouncing left when the back row is bouncing right. I’d have to buy her, and get her to wear it all the time, and what would be the fun in that? Actually, if he could make a leash that matched…hmmm.

Anyway, here’s your video. Sorry most of the captions for the Friday Caption Contest got caught by the spam filter over the weekend. I will have it taken out back and shot, I assure you. Prize presentation just as soon as I’m caught up on sleep!

Watch while you enjoy thumbing through a coffee table book of his best. Actually, they are sort of hats that were always waiting to be in coffee table books, don’t you think?

Since our last caption contest apparently intimidated you all into silence, we thought this might work better: a possibly over-Botoxed and apparently alarmed Winona Ryder. Tell us in the captions just what it is that is terrifying this It Girl of 1994.

Winona No No

Ol Spidereyes is back

This is not exactly what the scientists meant back in the mid-20th Century when they talked about “harnessing the power of plastics.” PS if that bodice gets any tighter, we’re going to have a leakage situation under the right armpit, and that’s a HAZMAT cleanup if ever I saw one.

You know what to do. Do it in the comments.

Celine Dion

Old Spice

This is what happens when someone combines Commando and Half Mast.

Apparently Dear Richard has taken to wearing fancy dress around LA in a successful effort to garner paparazzi photos. The poor man. Well, it’s a Kardashian world; can you blame this formerly-dignified figure for pandering, slightly? We honoured him with our best captions, and now it’s time to announce the winner.

Richard Simmons has had a makeover

Pete Howorth August 10, 2012 at 8:39 am #

My mother, ready for a night at the bingo.

Supercongrats to first-time winner Pete! What imaginary swag shall we hypothetically present to our virtual champion? There can be only one (choice).Authentic KISS Destroyer Boots!!